Need to know we are not the only ones and there is light at the end of the tunnel!

[IsleOfIslay]

We have a 5mo ebf DD.
She is such a happy wee soul and we have a great bedtime routine with her sleeping from 8:30 till 6/7ish the next morning (not a stealth boast honest this is relevant later)
DH and DD get in really well through day no problems there.
She has never taken a bottle so that DH can feed her with expressed milk but we have had a break through with a sippy cup with a soft spout! At last! She takes milk from this happily through the day, but most feeds are BFs rather than from cup.
I have a night away with the girls booked in September so we have been trying in preparation for DH to settle DD at night and it turns into absolute meltdown
I know it's probably because she is tired so less accepting of change. I have been keeping out of the way and taking the dog out etc and DD had just been screaming and crying till she eventually falls asleep through exhaustion (still sobbing in her sleep) and after not taking any milk. Because of this she wakes repeatedly through the night looking for reassurance. DH feels terrible like he is doing everything wrong and I know he isn't. Has anyone else been through this or have any advice? We are both feeling awful about it and could do with some help to make it and easier transition. We are trying at the moment both of us doing bath time bed time one night (just like normal) and DH the next.
Sorry this is a bit of a ramble!

How does he settle her? With cuddles and rocking etc?

You name it he has been trying it, cuddles rocking bouncing in her wee bouncy chair. She just cries and cries till she falls asleep exhausted not through him comforting her iykwim

Is he around for any other feeds during the day I.e first morning feed? Could he try to give her the cup then ( she'll be hungry if she's sleeping through). Maybe if she gets used to taking a feed from him then, it might not be as hard at bedtime? Just a suggestion.

Good luck!

Yeah he often does breakfast time feed and occasionally tea time ish feed so taking milk from the cup then. Is she too young to have separation anxiety?

No not too young. Bf gives her comfort not just food so that will be what she misses I suspect.

I would try going out for a day and see what happens. My second baby was like this - I've only just started going out (she's 20 months)!

Now that she is taking sippy cup DH has booked meal on Sunday for lunch so DD is going to my DM for the afternoon, first time away from me, I'm so nervous! We just feel so hopeless and I know there is no right or wrong but just to know how other people have got through it.
Creature that must have been a long haul for you but at least you can get out now! Good to know we are not the only ones though! If it wasn't for this girls night we wouldn't really be fussing over this and would probably be carrying on as normal, just feel under pressure and DD if no doubt sensing that too!

Yes I had to miss a hen do! Because it was my second, I knew that it doesn't last forever so it has actually gone quickly

Hi, I went away for a weekend when DS was 4mo (yes, with breastpump in tow!). DH just coped...... I think he got less sleep than he admitted but he had a fabulous time hanging out with DS. He just remembered the good bits of the weekend, rather than the night wakings and so on.
Tips.... get Daddy to take a bath with her regularly between now and then .... see if he feels able to do that when you are out too. All that skin to skin will help them bond and ensure she feels secure with him.
My DH co-slept with DS whilst i was away. he said it was the only thing that would settle DS, stop him crying and kept DH slightly sane as he did manage to get some shut eye. Of course it meant he went to bed very early though - he just resigned himself to it! (I think he took his Kindle with him for company). In case your DP has to do the same just make sure he knows how to do it safely. I had done it regularly before so our bed was already set up for it and DH was relatively relaxed.
DH co-slept when the rocking and singing stopped working!!
Best of luck and have a lovely time. & if you decide not to go, dont beat yourself up about it. Your friends will still be your friends and they are barely going to change in the next 12 months, whereas your LO will change loads in the next 12 weeks. I know tempting it is to stay home instead of going out because you have a baby you dont want to upset.

If it is any consolation we did not leave DS with anyone until he was 7mo..... yes we might be over protective but DS is our little boy and we could not bear for him to be upset if we were not there to soothe him. In fact he was absolutely fine and our babysitter had no problem putting him to bed!!! After all our fretting it was plain sailing for her.