help and advice needed

[MunchkinJess]

I am due to give birth to my first baby in 8 weeks

I had breast implants done about 5 years ago.

I have always said that I will give breastfeeding a go and if things dont pan out will go onto formula. I am no concerned on how my two friends look I want to make sure my baby is getting the food and nutrients she needs.

I suffer from anxiety and just had a massive panic attack over the weekend worrying about what breastfeesing will be like ? how will I know my baby is getting enough? what if I dont produce enough milk? I also want to take some formula with me to the hospital just as a back up and had a look online and got a bit overwhelmed by all the different brands and types of milk

I just want to prepare for the worse so any advice would be greatly appreciated

You feed on demand. So when s/he hungry tou feed and when they're full they stop. You don't have to worry about quantifying how much they are getting with bfing. It's so much more simpler. With ff it's an issue because you have to ensure that you mix up the right mixture of powder.

Has with formula all the brands are basically the same. They have to legally make it up to a correct formula so there are no differences between brands. The rest is just marketing nonscene as is hungry milk and follow on milk.

Firstly, breastfeeding does not change the appearance of boobs. It is pregnancy that causes saggy boobs, not breastfeeding. Once you finish feeding, the boobs return once more to fatty materials, though it takes a while.

Secondly, if you are serious about giving breastfeeding a go, the best thing you can do is find your local support group and go and have a chat with them.

All new mums have similar panics about whether baby is feeding enough. As breastmilk is made on supply and demand, if you supplement with formula then you will be risking your milk supply. Your baby needs nothing other than a few teaspoons of colostrum for the first 2-3 days until your milk comes in. Even if you don't manage to get the hang of breastfeeding, if you can get a few drops of colostrum into your baby you will be doing them a great service.

I am serious about wanting to try but I am also adamant that I will not stress.myself out or beat myself up if it doesn't work for whatever reason.

I really do want to try and I am sorry if I come across as inexperienced but well I am. first time mum. I have no one close to me I can really ask as my mum bottle fed me as I wouldn't take to breastfeeding no matter what she tried.( I was a stubborn baby )

I just would like some advice on how it works with breastfeeding compared to bottle feeding

This is a great website kellymom but a real life support group is going to be the best help you can get.

A lot of midwives and health visitors are really badly informed/trained about breastfeeding, so you need advice and support from other mums going through the same thing.

One of the things that really shocked me, as a first time mum, was how much "pressure" there seemed to be before the birth, but after the birth there was no real life support available from the midwives or health visitors. I had really shoddy advice. Luckily I found a really good support group near me, and they were life savers. Most breastfeeding problems can be got around, if you have the right support.

whether you want to breast feed or bottle you will need to take a few cartons of milk into hospital with you just in case you need them (if you try breast feeding and its not for you the hospitals generally provide sterile bottles but you have to provide the formula)

As for which formula I really dont know if one is best i used sma but my baby was rubbish with it. he ended up with cradle cap and being a poor feeder. two of my friends had similar experienced with sma but I'm sure that happens with all brands tbh. I used aptamil in the end after reading lots of online reviews etc. So checking reviews online maybe a good idea.

I tried to bf but had a really traumatic birth and ended up on hdu by the time I got around to seeing my ds the midwives had already given him 3 bottled that added to the fact my milk took 7 days to come in as I was ill i never managed to breast feed as my baby had nipple teat confusion. I expressed for a week or two but tbh it was so time consuming I gave up. I felt guilty initially now I definitely dont as I did my best to try. so if it doesn't work out dont feel bad.

things that I think would have helped me establish breastfeeding would have been.

getting the midwives to help with positioning straight away sounds obvioud but they're often too bust to help

requesting a bf support worker straight away

asking for sterile syringes or a feeding cup from the nurses if my baby was struggling to feed. this allows you to give your baby formula milk while you're establishing bf but doesn't let your baby get used to a teat.

sorry for essay

You don't need to take formula in with you - if you decide breastfeeding is not for you, then you will be provided with formula until someone can bring in formula for you, if your hospital has a 'bring your own formula' policy (and most don't).

The risk of bringing in formula 'just in case' is that you have the formula there in your bag, and it is easy to use it as a response to anxiety about breastfeeding, rather than to a genuine need of the baby. And this can make a difference to your choice to breastfeed.

Jess, think of breastfeeding and bottle feeding as responding to your baby's needs and the baby will give you cues he wants to be fed. Breastfeeding is no different from formula feeding in this respect.

You cannot tell by looking at the formula bottle that your baby has had enough, because you don't know in advance what his needs will be at that time. So breastfeeding is no different - with both, you guage by the baby's behaviours that he has had what he needs :)

It is a learning time for you, and for every other mother, but there is support and help, for certain :)

Hi OP,

Im absolutely no expert, Im breastfeeding my DD. (my first baby)

I didn't know what to do with her in the hospital the first night. I was so scared & this little tiny baby was crying, so I rang the call bell & a lovely healthcare assistant sat with me and helped me get baby feeding.

She is now 15 weeks, and sometimes at night she feeds once, last night it was every 2 hours.

Just offer the boob, my DD wont take it one minute, so I check nappy, see if its a cuddle she wants, then try her on boob again and she decides - yes, I do want it now!

They soon stop when they've had enough

Can you start by talking to your midwife? At my 28 week appointment we discussed feeding and I was told about the specialist midwife in the community team. Apparently she can get anyone feeding!

There will also be groups local to you - find out when and where now. There are national helplines too.

I'm anxious or maybe apprehensive too as my first baby wouldn't latch and I didn't have the support to help us. I'm now reading a book called The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and it's helping.

I agree that you shouldn't take formula. If you intend to breastfed, the midwives should help you express and spoon feed, and support you. They won't let your baby starve!

Best of luck to you - I'm due in 9 weeks!

Don't worry too much! But good to be planning in advance. Some tips and things I wish I'd know/ was glad I knew:

• Don't worry if baby is on breast constantly around day 2 or 3. This is their way of bringing in your milk and it's completely normal. (Mine sucked for nearly 8 hrs straight on the 2nd night! It was exhausting, but worth it as I have good supply)
• Get real life support on correct latch and don't stop getting help until it's right
• If you have pain/ nipple damage beyond the first few days of your boobs toughening up then get baby checked for tongue tie (by an expert ideally rather than just mw or gp)
• Yes, baby really can be hungry again that soon! Cluster feeding and frequent feeding all perfectly normal especially in early days

I'm in 2 minds about the emergency formula thing. I'm glad I didn't have it to hand as it made me persevere through some tough moments in the first week. But, I was absolutely determined to bf. If it's not such a big deal for you then yes, I'd have a few of those ready-made cartons and a couple of bottles to hand in advance.

Good luck!

I had the same worries as you, and we're still going strong at 9 months.

It will be uncomfortable even painful for the first 40-60 seconds of each feed. Use a lanolin based cream like Lansinoh after every feed to moisturise the nipples. The pain passes after 10-14 days when your nipples toughen up.

Expect to spend the first 6 weeks on the sofa in your pyjamas watching tv. Your biggest achievement is nourishing your child, anything more - like getting washed and dressed, or cooking dinner - makes you a superhero.

Saying that, get out for fresh air at least once a day, just to remind yourself that the world still exists. Go where there are old ladies, they'll coo and fuss and tell you how great you're doing. Try your local children's centre to meet other mums to drink coffee and moan with.

Take it one feed at a time :)

Purple, you say "It will be uncomfortable even painful for the first 40-60 seconds of each feed. Use a lanolin based cream like Lansinoh after every feed to moisturise the nipples. The pain passes after 10-14 days when your nipples toughen up."

This is by no means everyone's experience. Soreness is common, but it is not inevitable - saying it is normal stops people getting help until it is really serious. Sore nipples don't just clear up when nipples toughen - again, far from an inevitable experience. Midwives and others can help with getting a comfortable attachment :)

The rest of your post about accepting the time consuming nature of bf is right, of course...though she will need to change out of PJs to get out once a day :)

Don't take formula with you and try to find out if your nipples were removed during surgery. (which is common). If so then take advice from a breast feeding expert, there are clinics that you can pop into, they are normally aimed at new mums but the will gladly see you.

The odd bottle in the first six weeks doesn't usually cause a problem (eg something like one every 15-20 feeds) but more than that and you will interfere with natural processes. Essentially bf comes down to three things:

Getting a good latch - some babies much better at this than others. If the latch is not so good you'll get sore. If you get super sore, you can pump off milk from one side whilst feeding from the other and things like that (milk has to keep flowing so you don't get mastitis). There are also various gadgets that help, such as nipple shields.

Keeping going for 6 weeks while you learn the basics of how to do it. After 12 weeks it becomes second nature.

Keeping baby physically close and following instincts when responding.

The NCT are good at helping people with all of these things.

In terms of formula, the only difference is organic/non organic. We used Hipp for a bit and it was fine. Any will do though. Same with most bottles, no need to fret unduly.

If stressed, a small bottle of lager or stout works wonders and will not harm baby (not NCT advice but tried and tested by centuries of women!)

You can do it.

Don't buy formula, the first few weeks are really hard and having in the house is too much of a temptation. Also topping up with formula on a reg basis can reduce your supply so I would not advise it.

Remember the first 6 weeks are the hardest, and persist. Lots of skin on skin contact is good (consider getting a sling). and eat and drink well.

Find breast feeding support in your area. It really helps normallise feeding. Really helped me.

If you do need formula they will have it there except in a very few cases (you can check in advance with your midwife) - DS needed a small top up on day 2 as he didn't wee early enough, and they did have formula handy, they usually just can't recommend it or provide it easily in order to encourage bfing.

We all stress at the beginning about baby getting enough, but don't worry it is actually pretty easy to see - if you are concerned, keep count of wet nappies and track weight gain over the first few weeks (not daily, as it fluctuates a lot).

I am quite small and very small busted, so was really concerned that I physically couldn't create enough milk when mine was slow to come in the first week, but in fact had an oversupply after about week 4. It did hurt a bit more than I expected at the beginning - the best advice I got was that in the first few weeks it's okay if the pain is an 8 out of 10 at latch, so long as it's gone by the middle of the feed, at the beginning I kept feeling like I was doing it wrong! After that it settled right down and we have been really lucky to have a breeze of a time with bfing. We had to use ff exclusively for 2 weeks for medical reasons, and I was surprised by how much I missed the ease and closeness of bfing, and by how much faff was involved in prepping, sterilising and leaving the house (though I know that more organised and scheduled people find this less painful! )

That said, if you can't bf it sounds like you have a great attitude - it's not the be-all and end-all, plenty of people have grown up healthily and well on formula, and whatever you can manage will help, especially in the early weeks.

I have just re-read my advice and felt the need to point out that it is the bf mother that has traditionally been prescribed a small glass of stout, not the baby. Repeat, not the baby.

hahaha Boffin my my fiance is a stout fan...he got quite excited at that advice that he could have the excuse to "help me" bf by drinking the rest of the can or pint

That's modern parenting for you. Lucky bloke.