Please can someone help?

[Becky5W]

Please can anyone help me?? My little girl is 13 weeks old and we are really struggling with her last feed. We try to have a bedtime routine going where we bath, bottle then bed.. But her last feed is terrible. She starts off taking it really well but then without any warning will push the bottle away screaming. We try to wind and she still screams. She has a burp, and still screams. Sometimes after an hour or so she settles, so we try again and the same thing happens. Other times we have to take her in the car to settle her. When she is screaming she goes all stiff and arches her back. Every other feed is fine apart from her last one! It is really upsetting and stressful and I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like it will never get any better and we dread night times. When she was a few weeks old, the doc said she had colic. We have tried infacol and gripe water.. No effect. We changed bottles from tommee tippee to dr brown quite early on and this did help with the colic but her night feed has got so much worse. I don't even know if this is colic anymore or what it is! My friend I met at NCT classes suggested I tried colocynth... I think it's called! As her mum is a health visitor in Scotland and they recommend these.. Again they seemed to help slightly again but still no good for night feed. Please can anyone help, I don't feel comfortable asking health visitor as she has been useless with me. Also don't know if it's a doctor issue?? I'm devastated by it. Thanks

You have my sympathy - my DS was like this - it was reflux and some infant gaviscon from GP really helped. It is exhausting - there will be an answer xxx

Is reflux where they are sick? As she isn't really sick much, only bits. Thanks for your help

poor you and baba. although we haven't needed it (thank goodness), colief is supposed to be better than infacol according to friends in rl. worked when nothing else did. it's a bit pricey but some docs will give it on prescription.

however,colic is supposed to improve by three months so maybe a chat to gp or hv would help.

sorry,just read that you don't want to ask hv.

with silent reflux you don't have the outward symptoms (being sick). although with reflux I think you're more likely to have symptoms throughout day and feeds rather than just at night - I'm def no expert though!

Could this simply be a behavioural (as opposed to physical) response to the timing? The routine thing is understandable, but maybe she just doesn't want bath, bottle and bed....she may want a break between the bath and the bottle, and just as with any baby, watching for cues is better than imposing a schedule.

She gets upset because her cues to you are not working, perhaps?

How about trying this: do the bath at the usual time, and don't offer the bottle automatically. Have the bottle there, and ready, and wait for her to cue she wants it. As soon she starts to reject it, accept that. Don't mess about with winding and patting and wondering if she has burped enough. Just put the bottle down and continue cuddling, singing whatever.

It seems to me you are trying to 'make' her take the bottle and she doesn't want it at that time. You are all stressful and dreading the feeding time, and none of that will help :(

Just go with the flow, see what happens, and try to achieve a lack of stress.

If you then find she only takes a tiny amount and then wakes up needing more a few hours later, then so be it - that would be better than the huge upheaval and stress you are having now, with car journeys and repeated bouts of screaming :(

What do you think?

My DD has reflux and she's significantly worse in the evening. As a general rule she only needs her gaviscon in the evening. I'd consider going back to the GP to ask if it might be silent reflux. My sympathies, it's tough when they're miserable!

Okay thanks people! I did think that she wanted her bottle after bath but actually looking back, she does show some signs but maybe not enough to warrant feeding straight away, never thought of that so thanks. Yeah we do try and keep calm but hearing her scream is just horrible and makes me panic. I'll try that tonight and see what happens. Thanks. If no difference maybe I'll go to gp and ask about the reflux

Becky, it's definitely worth trying the 'following her lead' approach for several evenings.

There is such a rush these days to diagnose reflux, silent reflux, colic intolerance, allergies and so on, as if all babies are no more than their digestive tract :) All these conditions exist, of course, but they may well be over-diagnosed and other concerns are missed (see this recent paper:doi:10.1111/jpc.12153)

With my DD we give her a bath then do baby massage and let her have a wriggle/roll on the floor. Then when she is ready (gives the cues she's hungry) we then take her upstairs to her room close all the curtains so its dark and calm and give her her bottle then put her into bed.

We've been doing this since she was about 8 weeks old (she's now 7.5 months) over time she has shown signs of being hungry earlier and earlier and bedtime has gone from
10pm to 7.30.

Follow her lead and it should be easier. DD did go through a phase of being really fussy with her bottles and would only drink them laid on her back on the bed or floor (not in my arms) Maybe you could try a different feeding position? Hope it gets better soon

Okay thanks for your advice! Will certainly try different feeding postions!