Baby falling asleep on breast - help!

[marushka82]

Hi everyone, I'm a new mum to 9 do DD and although I realise that in the early days there's no routine (and I'm not expecting any!) I'm really struggling with getting my baby to settle. It's almost as if she is too tired to suck milk properly and falls asleep on the breast and yet she's too hungry to fall asleep. Vicious circle!
Our feeding sessions take ages! I think she latches on correctly and she must be getting enough milk because she's pooing and peeing like a champ :) but I would love for her to have an active session on the breast for say 20-40 minutes after which she'd fall asleep rather than 4-5 shorter sessions spread over 2 hours or more when I constantly have to de-latch her as no amount of feet tickles, chin tickles etc works!
I really really don't want to give up breastfeeding, but it's so frustrating seeing your baby too tired to feed! Her naps are usually quite short so I'm absolutely shattered!

Any advice?

marushka your baby sounds healthy, thriving and normal. If she is gaining weight normally, there is no need to keep her awake and she should be allowed to sleep and settle without the feet tickling and so on....these are important sometimes for very weak or pre-term babies who may drift off to sleep because they lack the energy to feed, but for a term 9-day-old who is feeding normally, these tactics are not needed.

4-5 short sessions in 2 hours are fine - this is a cluster feed and is very typical of young babies. Yes sometimes she is too tired to feed - she needs to sleep, so do let her!

Many babies of this age thrive best when kept close to or on the breast for much of the time, while someone else does everything else to keep the show on the road, looking after you :)

You're right not to expect a routine at this stage.

Hi tiktok, thanks so much for such a speedy answer! The problem is that the moment I try to put her in her cot (for the night for example) or onto a beanbag she wakes up and is quite obviously still hungry (she's sucking on her fingers and rooting). I know she needs her sleep (so do I, lol) but she doesn't seem to fall asleep for long enough as her tummy is not quite full (or at least that's how I see it)... It's worse towards the end of the day and sometimes I sit with her from midnight to 4, 5 am, putting her on the breast and trying to fill her up. I don't mind feeding on demand and her hanging off my boob, but nights are especially hard as I am more and more tired and worry that I will fall asleep on the couch with her!
Ah, this is so so hard, not willing to give up though!

This is all normal! It will settle down, presuming you have plenty of milk and there is no reason why you won't.

Ehric - oh I do hope so! It just breaks my heart to see her tired AND hungry! One thing I found works is feeding lying down as she just rolls off the boob and I don't have to move her anywhere and can co-sleep. The only issue is that I'm never sure whether she's properly latched on in this position and I'm also scared of co-sleeping at night as I'm too knackered and worry I'll roll over her...
Thanks so much for your support. I'm (obviously) new to this whole motherhood thing and will accept any advice I can get!

marushka, you say 'The problem is that the moment I try to put her in her cot (for the night for example) or onto a beanbag she wakes up and is quite obviously still hungry (she's sucking on her fingers and rooting).'

This is normal - less than 2 weeks ago she was inside you and feeding a lot. She wants to be near you, and to have the food supply near as well :) You don't need to be concerned about making sure her tummy is full (how would you know?!).

Just let her feed according to cues - feeding a baby is not aiming to 'fill the baby up', but just meeting their nutritional needs.

You need to explore the option of feeding lying down in the bed. Feeding with a risk of falling asleep on the couch is not safe - it is much safer to feed in bed. Do ask your midwife or HV about safe co-sleeping. Yes, you need your sleep, too :)

I would also say this is totally normal (exhausting too, I know) and it will settle down in a few days/weeks as your daughter gets older.

When you try and put her down she is probably waking due to that rather than hunger, as presumably if you keep her on you she stays asleep? This is something they gradually grow out of as they get older too.

If she is gaining weight again and having plenty of wet and dirty nappies then she is getting enough milk.

It will get better, just hang on in there.

Tiktok - thanks! when I'm feeding her on the couch I stay alert, don't worry! Usually have someone to chat to on fb which keeps me awake!
I'll practice feeding lying down, it's so comfy!!!

Midori - yes, you might be right on saying that me lifting and moving her wakes her up (reminds me of the 'drop' in Inception ;)

thanks so much, I'll definitely perservere!!!!