Bottle refuser - any tips?

[philbee]

DD2 is 14 weeks now. She had tongue tie, snipped at 6 weeks and so we delayed giving her a bottle to give her time to get used to a new latch. We've tried every few days for the last couple of weeks with different bottles, EBM and formula, DH trying and me trying. She screams and screams and won't have it. It would be useful if someone else could feed her sometimes so I could have a bit of time with DD1 or a longer rest or go out to an exercise class or something. Does anyone have any tips for helping her accept a bottle? Or any other way to feed her? I tried a cup but not sure how to do it really and she wasn't very happy with it.

We have had similar issues with DS who is now 16 weeks. He had a bottle of EBM once every couple of days from 6 weeks but a 12 weeks decided to start to refuse them. It's apparently quite common at around 12 weeks as they have got smart enough to realise its different to the breast.
It's taken real perseverance to get over it - with DP trying lots of different positions to feed, different bottles, sippy cups, different times of day etc. In the end DP rearranged his work schedule so he could start work late on some days for a while and we agreed to try giving a bottle of EBM for first feed of the day every day for a week. He endured lots of tears, and the first couple of times was lucky to get even an ounce in him. We reached the point of DP getting DS out of bed before he had fully woken in the morning and rushing him out of the room before he had a chance to see me!
Eventually we found what worked best was feeding in a way that was completely different to BF - ie don't try and fool him that it's just the same because he knows it isn't. These days DP is feeding DS with him sat inhis bouncy chair facing the TV, holding his own bottle with DP just helping him. What also helps is DS spending time with DS before attempting a feed - if he has been playing with Daddy for half an hour before his feed he is far more likely to take the bottle from him. It's also been very important for me to not be around too - early on in cracking this for each feed I stayed outside in the garden and talked DP through the whole thing by phone so DS could not see, hear or smell me!! I've even gone for a walk round the block and let DS see me leaving the house, just he knows I am not available.
It's been real trial and error and a lot of perseverance but we've been able to up the amount he has from the bottle and vary it from just the first thing in the morning feed. Weve also managed to have me in and out of the room while he is feeding. It's taken 4 weeks to get this far. Today he managed a 6oz bottle! Our next mission is to get him out of the bouncy chair and sitting on DPs lap......
We also had some success with him sat in his high chair with the seat reclined. I've read about others feeding a bottle in the bath just t get them used to the bottle while they are nice and relaxed.
Gosh I've written a lot - as you can probably tell, this issue has been all consuming in our house the last few weeks! Good luck to you.

Phew! Sounds like you were really determined. I don't know if we have that kind of dedication! But that's a good idea, to take it out of the familiar feeding scenario. I think I'll get her a sippy cup teat for the bottle and see if DH can give her some milk in her chair in the morning. Hopefully then it will be different enough. I think she gets worried that I've gone, she will only settle in the evenings if I do it, mostly through feeding, so that presumably doesn't help.