Cutting down bf - advice needed, and these feelings are normal, right?

[bronya]

DS is eleven months old. For an awful lot of practical reasons, he needs to be on night and morning bf only from September. Bf was such a hard-won battle in the beginning though, and he loves it so much, it just feels wrong to be cutting down! Makes me all sad feeling and like I'm doing the wrong thing, even though I know I'm not!!! Is that normal? Hormones? Couldn't figure out why I felt so meh, and thinking this may be why!

So - we've cut down to morning feed, 5pm feed, bedtime feed, one during the night (so four not five). I need to cut out the night time one next, once DH has found some earplugs (he has a dangerous job and really does need to get sufficient sleep!). Do I cut it out by offering formula, then gradually watering that down? Or....? If DS wakes up hungry at 5am do I bf then and leave it twelve hours, or give him a snack then and bf at 7am as usual?

I know he can have cow's milk from 12 months. Does that mean he needs NO formula at all from Sept if he's having 2x bf?

TIA. H

I wouldn't give him food at 5am unless you intend to get up and have breakfast. Treat it as the night. My ds started on cow's milk 2 weeks before he was a year because it was a complete waste buying a big carton of formula. Also if you start him on formula it may take a while for him to accept the difference. I would just offer him water in the night, he's old enough not to need milk feeds every few hours. It seems like you've already cut down on the daytime feeds so hopefully the night feeds will follow. Does he have tea/dinner at 5pm? This will eliminate the milk feed then. Perhaps introduce more fatty dairy puddings. I think also the night waking may be more of a sleep issue rather than a feeding issue. However, if he's hungry then by all means feed him. Will you not be able to feed him in the night by September?

when you say night, do you mean bedtime or do you mean during the night?

because if you can do feeds during the night, it might help a lot - DD did what they call reverse-cycling when she turned a year, which means that she had most of her feeds during the night (we co-sleep so not an issue), and she cut herself down to two feeds during the day (not including evening feeds)

You could try to space them so that you give him his bedtime feed earlier and another one through the night, then his breakfast feed as late as possible.

Or you could do it so they're exactly 12 hours apart (or even so they're strictly when you want to give them to him eventually)

what about expressing while he cuts down? So that he gets the benefits without the boob association? might make it easier to replace that with milk or another drink later on

Just thought I'd offer you a big hug. Bf was hard won by us too in the beginning so I know the feelings you might be experiencing right now.
My 14mo is still bf on demand when I am around but I work 4 days a week and am away 8am until 7pm. I returned to work at 10mo. We didn't bother cutting down feeds as it just worked out. I did/do not express at work either... In fact he doesn't drink any milk whilst I am away as he refuses cow goat and ff milk.
On my work days he bf around 6/7 am, 7pm, 8pm and then during the night if he wakes up. In fact I sleep in the spare bed with him once he wakes as it means we all get enough sleep. I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times he has slept through from 8am until 6am but it has happened more and more recently so am hoping for more of it soon!!
It is amazing how I have coped returning to work. The human race is amazing!
We all muddle through and if you want to continue you will make it happen. I found being a member of my local LLL group invaluable as there were plenty of other mums there bf kids over a year who shared their experience and tips (normally via our FB page) and so normalized everything. Made it easier to know other women are up at 4am trying to placate a kid with sore teeth with the magic boob!!!!
Good luck.

No advice but in a really similar situation

Little one is 10 months old, going back to work tomorrow (part time, but sometimes long shifts). She was on 4 bfs a day (3am, 9am, 1pm and 7pm) but I have decided to not offer 1pm feed any more since she didn't have it at nursery 3 days ago. She's been fine (though my boobs are killing me ). I haven't been giving formula to replace it and I'm not sure if I should. She eats pretty well. She's not a bad sleeper either.

I guess I am most anxious about her rejecting bf way before I am ready to stop (hoping to get to 2 years). I work evenings and nights sometimes so none of the feeds will always be available.

I am sad, and I feel pretty run down already and I haven't even started work. My left boob is extremely painful. I feel very tearful.

Sorry for self pitying hijack.

Thinking of you bronya and I hope things work out for you.