My baby is a pita

[Sleepstarved]

DD2 is 4 mo, feeds every two hours at night, and i have to fight with her to feed in day as so distracted.
won't go to sleep unless being carried or fed, screams blue murder in car seat, cot and pram.
Poor DD1 (2.4) is left with books or in front of tv and is desperate for some of my attention.
I don't like CC or CIO but I'd have done it by now if DD2 would ever stop - she gets herself in such a terrible state people stop me in the street.
Gave up on 20 min walk today and came home, got half way in hour and half, shouted and swore at her ( in front of DD1).
She will settle in baby bjorn but it hurts my shoulders if I wear it all day and I can't make dinner, do ironing or put washing out with her in it.
She has been sleepy nursing for 40 mins now.

You might be more comfy with a mei tie or karrime sling. Google sling meets for your area, you can go along and try lots before lashing out cash.

Poor you, a screamer is horrid, btdt x

Babasling was what I used & I could cook, iron, wash etc with dd in it.

I sympathise with how tough it is & yes I've resorted to swearing too (please don't feel bad about it).

search this site for cranial osteopath, many positive experiences with babies who cry a lot. Hope you find a solution soon. xxx

My DS had to be carried or fed nearly all the time - turns out he has dairy and gluten intolerance. I think if I had excluded these from my diet he would have been easier. If he hadn't been my first baby I might have copped on he sooner. (He had terrible wind from early on so I could be totally missing the mark for your DC.)

Silent reflex could be another possibility?

Thank you all. She is happy to play on her mat in her back - well was until she started rolling, so i don't think its reflux.
Its more that she won't/can't settle herself.
I have a karime (sp?) which i used when she was tiny but she wants to be forward facing now so baby bjorn seems better and its so hot.
She doesn't scream all the time, only when tired.
DD1 never slept in pram/buggy either until quite old but would nap well in cot on her own. DD2 won't nap for more than 40 mins at a time without help - its so wearing.
I'd really like her to sleep better so i can get more rest, be more even tempered with everyone and so that i can do more things with DD1 in the day.
Eventually everyone seems to say leave her to CIO but I seriously don't think she would stop and if she did it would only be a for a short while. It doesn't seem like a very healthy sleep when they CIO (have had to do it when in car).
Annoyingly she has slept 8-5, woken up and gone back to sleep on her own ect but not since she had a cold at 3mo.

Have you tried white noise? Or lying on the bed with baby snuggled next to you and doing fake "sleepy" breathing - so loud and slow. These may not work but did with mine. Other than that try and see the positives about your baby and grit your teeth. This too shall pass.

sounds like she is reverse cycling with her feeding. look at kellymom for ideas on how to change that.
what about a ring sling or a met tai sling?

my ds2 and then ds3 were like this. i tried to structure my day so they could get a decent nap, even if it meant putying on a dvd for my toddler for that one nap. i did get very good at doing things with one arm!

Wallace, already use white noise! Used to work, not to much now.
Thanks Madthings, I will read reverse cycling on Kellymom, I heard they can do this at 4 months when they get too distracted to feed in the day.
I have tried giving her a bottle of ebm after bath and she only ever takes 100/120ml. I think she is a snacky baby.

100-120ml is a full feed for a BF baby, they will rarely take more than that in a feed as unlike formula (where you have to increase the amount as the baby grows because it stays the same) breastmilk changes to suit the needs of your growing baby. The amount of breastmilk babies takes increases in the first month and then stays roughly the same until weaning, although individual feeds can range from 0-5oz approx.

I would try a better sling, forward facing is bound to cause shoulders to be sore. I think that once they have good head support/around 4 months they can be back carried in a woven wrap, so maybe look into that and she will be able to see over your shoulder in a high back carry and it will mean you can get more done too.

Are you sure midi? DD1 used to take 240ml bottles of ebm when i went back to work. Have never heard that about 100ml before although am quite prepared to believe you, DD1 was odd in her feeding, especially from a bottle.
I had a little breakthrough this afternoon. I got her to sleep in buggy, facing me and walking round and round kitchen ( cooler inside) while singing. She just drifted off gently but kept jolting awake so I had to keep it up for the half hour she slept!

No help but dd2 was a total nightmare on a 45 minute sleep cycle screamed if put down ANYWHERE until 6 months, she's still crap only 6 hr stretches at 13 months and not easy to settle but at about 7 months she started crawling then walking and turned into the most charming scream free independent baby ever

So deep breaths and repeat "this too shall pass".

Def get another carrier - baby Bjorns are hell for your back. Forward-facing isn't an ideal position for baby's hips either. Check out a manduca or ergo, but don't buy on eBay as there are a lot of fakes - there's a good fb group called "slings and things fsot" where you can often get genuine ones a bit cheaper. Woven wraps are brill too, but a lot more of a faff initially. Sympathies - DS was like this too. Remember, this too shall pass - say it regularly to yourself!

Babies want and like to sleep in the main. I think something is stopping her. I'd guess an intolerance too. Cmpi is by far the most common.

If she isn't able to self-settle, have a think about "pick-up-put-down" from the Baby Whisperer. I used it with DS, who had similar issues, it worked within 24 hours & I didn't need to let him cry.

Thank you all.
I hadn't heard of the manduca sling, will have a look.
I do wonder about frustration, she so wants to be on the move.
Poppet, I have wondered about reflux/diet stuff too as she can be very back archy when she is upset. Like just now, woke up after being down for 40mins, crying with eyes still closed, picked her up and she arched and went stiff. Am not sure if that is just the way he gets upset or if something is hurting her. Sucking does settle her, so maybe it is reflux, but why then would she play happily on her back?
Cheese, have tried pick up put down but it seems to wind her up even more but Aidan, I think I could try putting her down or at least getting her settled at first sign of tiredness though. Am also trying to stick to set nap times - really helped my DD1 settle easily.
Vatican, I have pinched crotch of baby bjorn together with elastic so it's not as wide hoping that would be easier on her hips. I had to do something as she needed to be forward facing from 3 months because she wouldn't settle backwards - I'd have to carry her until asleep and then try and ease her in to sling (bjorn or karime) without her noticing.

You might have made the bb worse (sorry!) ideally a baby in a carrier should have their knees wide and higher than their bum so that their legs are in a "frogged" position, with fabric stretching from knee to knee. This creates a wide, deep area of support (think of sitting in a chair, rather than dangling from your crotch which is what a bb does). If you google image slings like the moby wrap, manduca or ergo you'll see the ideal position. It's not really one you can do forward-facing though which is why having them that wag isn't ideal. It's harder on your back too - I can't carry a baby for any length of time in a carrier like a bb, but in a softer carrier which spreads the weight more I can carry all day and not get backache. It's worth trying a sling meet near you where you can try different styles and see what you think.

Well last night was interesting. DD fed to sleep at 7.30/7.45 and all was normal when I went to bed at 9 ( yes early I know but I have to survive).
She slept until 2.30! Longest stretch for ages.
I got up for a wee at 1.30 and saw she was on her front.
Had her in bed with me for a feed, woke again and she was on her front again. Fed again at 5.30 and 7.
So, could it be reflux after all?
She did have it when tiny and had to sleep on front but it seemed to go at about 3 months. I had to put her down asleep on her front though as otherwise she'd be trying to move and that would be worse now as she is desperately trying to get her knees underneath her.
I've just put her down for nap on her side.
vatican, thank you for sling tip (sheepishly removes elastic from BB). DD won't tolerate facing me and struggles to escape from karime if I put her that way round.
I think my friend has an ergo, I will try that.