Stopping breastfeeding - then beginning again...

[JoAnne427]

I may sound a little crazy to try this, so I would love some input.

My daughter is 9 months old. I nursed her through her six month birthday, occasionally giving her a bottle of formula. I went back to work at 4 1/2 months, and would pump at work and bring it to her daycare the next day. Slowly, I was producing less and less, although I was drinking tons of water, and as a result we increased her formula intake while beginning to give her solid foods. I would continue to nurse her in the morning, evening, and middle of the night when she awoke. Over the last two weeks or so, I pretty much stopped nursing, as she sleeps until it is time to leave in the morning (so I just give her a bottle) and she now sleeps through the night.

I am feeling really bad about no longer nursing her! For a variety of reasons - health benefit, nurturing benefit, and the fact that it is one of the things that I can give her that her daytime caregivers cannot! (I would LOVE to not have to work fulltime, but I do not have that option, so maybe I am just feeling guilt about that). As a side note - I am feeling some pressure to stop nursing as friends and family are always taken aback that I have continued past six months. One friend keeps asking me "is she still on the boob?" and another asked me if I felt weird about it now that she is communicating so much more, and aware of what is going on. Whatever that is supposed to mean!

My question is this - since I have stopped nursing, having just done a couple of feedings in the last week or two, do you think it is possible to get my milk production back up again? And will that take a tremendous amount of time and work? Not that I am unwilling to put in the time and effort - I just am very limited on time. I leave my house at 7:00 a.m. and don't get back with dd until 6:00 p.m. (Long commute to work, and unemployment rate is horrible right now - I have been trying and trying to get closer to home, to no avail).

Okay, so lots of babbling here on my part - to get to some basic questions. Can I get my milk production back up, or should I just get over the guilt of not breastfeeding her anymore, and get on with it? Is it normal to feel so sad about it coming to an end? Thanks for your input!

Do you have any milk left now? Just a drop might do for the effect you seem to be after.

I am going a bit backward and forward bf wise with a 17 month old at the moment and am feeling quite content with it. At 6/7 months my son was quite happily on solids, enjoying a bit of bf morning and evening. Then we starting going visiting my husband abroad and he rediscovered breast as the source of things.

We have been doing waxing and waning breastfeeding ever since. I did seem to be able to keep on producing with just the morning/evening suckle with ignores during the day. He seems to have enough to enjoy when he only gets fed 3 times a week. It depends on what you are after. I have found the route lovely but surprising.

Good Luck

I never quite understood this but a friend of mine said that in her culture (Peru) then women often breastfeed other women's children to help with the load and that these 'surrogate' breastfeeding women didn't have a newborn?? Apparently the suckling action alone is enough to stimulate milk, even if you hadn't recently had a baby (or possibly even ever had a baby - I never asked). If she is to be believed, and I do have every reason to, then obviously the milk production can be produced and so stepped up at any time.
I guess it's just worth a try and see what happens - I think you just know when you are producing milk.
I gave up breasfeeding when my daughter was 10 months as she just seemed to not need me anymore. I did too get the feeling that people thought I had carried on a little longer than the norm but I enjoyed it, my daughter did and I just gave up when it felt right.
Go with your instincts, I think.

JoAnne427, I know exactly the conflicting emotions that you are feeling, I felt the same way myself when I/she stopped at nearly 12 months (she began sleeping through longer and therefore dropped the last feed pretty much by herself.) I do remember stopping for a while and starting again for a few days before finally finishing and my milk was still there. My friend is still b/feeding her toddler and her milk supply went up dramatically after her daughter was ill and needed comforting more often when she had gone down to 1 feed a day for months, so as Janus says, its very possible you can. I think there's another thread running on feeling down after stopping feeding, although I didn't post on there I never felt great about it and wish I'd carried on for all the same reasons you have listed. Good luck with whatever you choose to do (and ignore strange comments from your two friends too!)

JoAnne, of course you can start to bf again....just put your daughter to the breast when you want to, and let her suck when she wants to. Your milk will come back. If it's important to you to build up a good supply, then you might need to work at it with lots of conscious attempts to increase frequency, including at night. But if amount is not as crucial, then just do it, as they say! It is normal to feel sad, and many women do, even if they don't talk about it much. And just because it's seen as normal to have stopped bf by X months in this society, does not mean it is normal in other cultures, at other times in history....anyway, gazillions of mothers feed well into toddlerhood and beyond, even in the UK. Hope you enjoy whatever you decide to do!

Joanne427, it is indeed possible to get your milk going again. Hopefully, TikTok, who is a breastfeeding counsellor, will see this thread and give you more info but this is what I've gleaned.

According to the book 'Breast is Best' by Drs Penny & Andrew Stanway, women are capable of producing milk again, even after several years of being dry, as long as they have enough stimulation of the breast and a cooperative baby. They also recommend expressing to help stimulate supply, which perhaps you could do at work? I guess you've nothing to lose by trying, anyway.

It's such a shame when people make comments about extended breastfeeding. I fed three of my four for over a year and one of them for over two years and we were very happy with that. Just do what suits you and your family and try to ignore the killjoys.

Janus, it is indeed possible to breastfeed an baby even if you have never been pregnant, although it may need to be supplemented with donated breastmilk or other foods. It's easier if you have been pregnant, no matter how many years ago. Even grandmothers can breastfeed their grandchildren, though it may have been many years since they fed their own baby. Don't think I'll be offering, though!

Oops, our posts must have crossed, Tiktok!

Suedonim, that's fascinating about grandmother's feeding their grandchildren because when I had my dd, my sister was only 6 (and b/fed til 3) and my Mum swore that she could feel her breasts tingle when my dd was crying for a feed, as if she had been b/feeding herself. It sounds like she probably had been producing milk then, especially after only 3 yrs of not doing!

Just a quick question though - does it mean if you adopted a baby you could produce milk for that child? I would imagine that you could, but I've never heard of it, have you?

JoAnne, don't know whether you've already searched the site but you will find loads of info on here about extended b/feeding, if you're ever feeling a bit unsure or 'strange' about it (or facing neagative comments) - tons of people have said how great it is...

JoAnne I still bf ds who is 16 months. I get the odd comment but I dont care, we both still enjoy it and after dh looked after him most of Tuesday on his own without ds screeming the place down for a feed I realise most of it is comfort and we will be stop when the time is right.

Janus/Lizzer : What do you think royalty did before the 1900 ??? They didn't breastfeed but had suckling nurses (I think that's what they were called). It was very common in the past for mothers (particularely rich ones) to have another woman breastfeed and that woman did not necessarily have kids of her own.

Lizzer, I don't know anyone who has breastfed an adopted baby but there's obviously no physiological reason why not. It might have been handy if your mum had got her milk going again when you had your baby. She could have taken over the night shifts, LOL!

I do have friends who have fed someone else's baby, on occasion. In one case my friend had oodles of milk, while her friend was struggling. So Trish fed the other baby as well as her own, while the worn out mum got some R&R.

Thanks for all of your input! I tried to b/f last night when I got home from work - and she just laughed and laughed! Funny little girl - but I was able to b/f right before putting her to sleep and this a.m. when she awoke. I think that she will be weaning herself very soon now, of her own accord, so I will make sure I am concious of what she wants and not push it just because I may be sad that we are moving out of the baby phase! I know here in the U.S. the AAP advises that women b/f for at least 12 months, which is only three months away - I think I will be satisfied if I continue until then. It is really something how feelings can change - I clearly recall lying in the hospital with my newborn in my arms, terrified, telling my partner there was no way I could get this done, and to go get me a bottle! But after much assistance, and tears, it all worked out.

Interesting info on b/f - and our ability to produce to produce milk when needed. Aren't we women just absolutely amazing?!? (as I keep reminding my dear sweet partner while I take care of our daughter, him and myself - in that order! but hey, that is a topic for another thread altogether!...)

Great news, JoAnne! Good to hear.

Adoptive mothers do breastfeed - it is easier if the adoptive mother has been pg but there are cases where she hasn't. If you do a web search on adoptive nursing you'll get some returns.

The word you're looking for Pupuce is 'wet nurses' and yes, they were quite common in this country among royalty and aristocracy ...I think Winston Churchill had one. Also elsewhere - there is a scene in the film The Last Emporer when the 12-year-old (!) emporer is dragged away from his wet nurse, as the powers that be think he is too old to be bf.

It was basically a question of not too posh to push, but too posh to suckle....just as you didn't prune your own trees, or plant your own veg, you had someone else do the feeding for you.

It was basically a patriarchal precept, though. Not bf meant you got pg very quickly again - hence the serial pregnancies of aristocrats in the 17th and 18th centruries, which had devastating effects on some women's health. Many of the babies died, of course, either from inadequate wet nursing, or because they were born sickly to mothers who had been pg too much, too often. If you want to know (even!) more, read Gabrielle Palmer's The Politics of Breastfeeding.

tiktok - I've read that book - the most comprehensive book on infant feeding I've ever come across. Apparently large families were viewed favourably in aristocracy hence the reason to produce as many babies as possible. Again as I mentioned in a previous post about the lack of knowledge of breastfeeding this aspect (lack of periods) wasn't mentioned or highlighted in any info that was given to me. Strange when it is such a fundamental piece of information and such a benefit too.

The book 'The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding' by La Leche League discusses adoptive nursing and reestablishing supply. Their website has an aricle on this at www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/adopt.html

JoAnne - It amazes me that people feel they have a right to question how long you breastfeed. Surely it is an intimate relationship and no-one else's business. BTW I am still breastfeeding my 2 1/2 year old once or twice a day despite being 7 months pregnant. Also my milk dried up at about 4 months - he seems happy enough to carry on though. Hope all works out well for you.

That's lovely, JoAnne - I can just imagine your baby laughing and laughing.