Night weaning: what are we doing wrong??

[MrsOgg]

My son is 14 months, I bf and we coslept up till this month when he just got really difficult to feed to sleep, and it seemed like we were disturbing his sleep.

On advice of bf counsellor went coldturkey on night feeds, moved him to cot and when he wakes at night DH goes in and soothes him without picking up, offers water...

She said it would be hell for 3 nights and then it would be over. Well this is night 10 and he's been howling for an hour! And 3.30 -5am this morning was the same ( we bring him into our bed for morning feed at 5am anyway).

He did sleep through last thursday. But since then it's been hellish. What do we try now? I've run out of ideas and it's heartbreaking hearing him cry for me.

I'd get your DH to pick him up and cuddle him. You can even do it yourself and talk to your ds, verbally reassuring him that it is okay. I wouldn't go cold turkey and not give any cuddles. He could be teething for example.

But once we've picked him up it's a pitched battle to put him down again... And he's really heavy! If I go in won't he get more upset that he can't have milk?

Mine was 7 months when I did night weaning (he would sleep through about half the time so I knew he could) but I used to go in and cuddle him back to sleep when he woke instead if feeding him. Took 3 hours the first night but was sorted after about 3 nights.

How do u get him to sleep initially? I found that when I stopped feeding my DD to sleep and putting her down awake,she slept much better.

I found that ds would sleep eventually and if I told him it was finished, he'd react better as understood that. On rare occasions I would feed him but we got there. The method you're using now isn't working... Have you checked for teeth and you sure he's not hungry?

Hiya xx Poor you there's nothing worse than hearing your little one wracked with screams and sobs in the middle of the night. I really feel for you. :-(

it is REALLY hard and you're not doing anything 'wrong' it's just about working out what works for you and your little guy xx

May I ask will he take a bottle? (even if you aren't giving cows milk or formula and would prefer to continue BM but give it expressed?)

What worked for us was to give a bottle but reduce the amount every night THEN stop completely. It's just a bit less full on than immediate cold turkey and I'm wondering if it gives them a chance to get used to having less in their tummies overnight?

It may just be it's been a big change for him going from sleeping in your bed with midnight boob/cuddles to the cot and no feeds.

Maybe if you want to do it in a more gentle way - take a week giving him bottle feeds in the night but in his own cot.

Then a week reducing those feeds.

I don't know if that helps AT ALL it may be totally not the way you want to go. All i know is that it worked for us - and our daughter was waking 2x a night til I stopped feeding her.

Whatever you decide I really hope it goes well for you and starts to get better as I'm sure it will xx Eventually we all sleep through the night!

GOOD LUCK xx

MrsOgg you have my sympathies. While we didn't co-sleep, I did end up bfing to sleep up to 5 times a night until he was 15 months. We did it pretty gradually, starting with dropping the feed just before bed - the advice was to feed before bath but in the end it turned out that this wasn't necessary - he just laughed when I tried to offer it then and after bath, the same happened! However, if before bath doesn't work for you, then you can still aim to drop that last feed by reducing it by a minute every couple of days .

Once we dropped that last feed, we worked on the night feeds, by reducing each one by a minute each time, starting with when his feeding slowed - I was skeptical as to whether it would work and he'd howl as I unlatched him, but that didn't happen. It really worked for us. The whole thing took about 5 weeks, but I am so pleased that we didn't have any crying (honestly). Good luck.

try no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantly. not about night weaning exactly but suggests gentle ways of getting baby back to sleep at night without boob/bottle/dummy/rocking etc, which is the same as deciding not to feed at night.
otherwise there is dr jay gordon night weaning. not done it myself but have read a few threads on here from people who have tried. both offer more gentle ways to going cold turkey. good luck