Giving up breastfeeding -cold turkey style ?

[ruthydd]

Has anyone ever given up breastfeeding cold turkey style ?

I have a 9 month old son who breastfeeds 4-6 times per day and I'm wanting to cut down to just one bed time feed. He's only very occassionally taken a bottle and we've tried all different teats etc.

So, as of this morning he's had no milk. dh has tried the bottle which he's flatly refused. He seems quite happy if a little clingy now because he's had 4oz formula in his breakfast + a banana + a yogurt, but I'm dreading the rest of the day!

Has anyone else got any tips to share with me ? Is it a good/bad idea to feed him at bed time if he hasn't taken the bottle all day. I feel awful about the whole thing. Help me stay sane please !

p.s. at what age can they undo your bra ? dh still struggles sometimes

Ruthydd have you thought of calling one of the bf organisations like LLL or NCT? Weaning too abrubtly can cause a form of depression due to the drop in hormone levels so I would reccomend talking this through with an experienced bfc who can help you work out the best way for you to make weaning work for you.

The book "how weaning happens" (available thru LLL) would be a good read for you as well.

Blimey - thanks Sazhig! Think I'll try and get hold of that.

Looks like I won't be weaning abruptly after all based on the responses I got. I sort of thought this is what lots of people have to do either when they go back to work or when the baby won't take a bottle, but the lack of positive stories has put me off. That said I am going to stop soon, but I'm not sure how.

Oh, FGS, I was trying to make it easier for RuthyDD, not have a go at her for wanting to stop!

I'm sorry, I should've said well done, but I don't think there was anything in my posts that could make anyone feel bad - I really don't think waiting till one and seeing how it goes is a terrible thing to suggest.

I'm sorry if I upset you in any way, RDD, I don't think I did, but I do think that people got indignant on your behalf in a needless way!

Good luck with it - and take the line of least defence (plus you should be able to take something for hayfever - ring the Breastfeeding Network's Drugline for info) - and there are ways round the shopping alone thing too - you can get someone to come with you and ring you when the baby needs a feed - a bit more cumbersome than being able to drop them off, but honestly, in a couple of months' time it will all be different again - so I don't see any point stressing yourself out about stopping bfeeding when you don't need to. Chin up, lovely x x x

peronally I found it fairly easy to give up when they are older as you can explain it to them. The window thing is a personal thing too, depends what you see as okay.

I'm not comfortable with the suggestion that a 9 m o doesn't need milk during the day. Up until 12 months babies should be getting most of their nutrition from milk, so while it may be possible for them to go without, it's not ideal at all.

Good luck ruthy whatever you decide. You sound like you are not really sure what you want, so take more time to think about it if you can. I certainly would do it gradually if at all possible - much more comfortable for you, and less potentially unsettling for your baby.

I think the posters who have questioned your reasons for stopping are just those who have found it worked very well for them to continue, and wondered if it could maybe work for you too! It can be an emotive subject but those of us who have breastfed older children are nearly always going to mention the advantages of carrying on - which not everyone is always aware of.

Ruthydd you sound like you are in the same situation as me (and singing the same songs... baby yoga?!!!) I really feel it is time to stop now. I said I would bf for 6 months and here I am at 9 months still going with dd only taking minimal fluid (and never milk) from a beaker. I am starting her a couple of sessions at nursery from next week and hoping an outside influence (and the fact that I am not there to step in and offer a boob when she refuses to drink) will help us to crack it.

Well done for feeding for this long. You have survived:

1.Nipple cripple in the first few weeks. Boy did that hurt (despite everyone saying it doesnt)

1. Indignant looks from people who don't understand bf at all
2. Indignant/ hysterical baby when you did not manage to feed dd enough quick enough before you popped to the shops/ hairdressers etc
3. The joys of feeding in cafes etc when dd would far rather pull off and have a good look around wilst you spray milk in to everyones lattes!
4. Sore boobs like rocks as you cut down (we have just stopped night feeds)
5. Being the only one to get up in the night
6. Teeth

But all the same you have enjoyed the unique bond and deep satisfaction of knowing you have grown this beautiful baby in and outside your marvellous tummy.

Carry on if you can, and if you want to good for you. Its great but its also incredibly hard. Well bloody done to us all, everyone who tried even for one day.

Suzysooz - thats interesting that your dd takes minimal fluids. We have the same problem. ds bearly drinks any water even in this heat. This is yet another reason that I'm getting a bit fed up of the day feeds because half the time he latches on, takes 3 sips then looks around and crawls off. I'm sure he is doing this just to quench his thirst and it is getting really irritating. I would be very happy to continue breastfeeding if it was just for nutritional value and comfort, but the sipping all day is getting on my nerves. Its time to stop, but after Saturday's experience I really don't know how. I didn't feed him all day Saturday until bed time, and he didn't have a single drop, not even warm EBM seconds after being pumped (given by dh in sippy cup whilst 4 yr-old ds1 sang songs to him and I was locked in the bathroom).

I've just cancelled my girls weekend away (my birthday). gggrrrrhhh! Actually its postponed not cancelled so I can't complain.

The good news is that I didn't have to feed in front of my boss yesterday, and he's agreed to change my hours to suit nursery runs. So overall life is looking good.

Thanks everyone for your help.

I think the problem with feeding on demand much past 6-9 months is that this is currently when many women who are going to, go back to work and the two are really not compatible (though I know many express to make up for this). I know that a lot of babies do need a lot of milk at 9 months but my ds was definitely eating loads of food by 10/11 months and by then was perfectly able to go a day without much milk. He did drink lots of water etc.

I think cutting down to 1 feed might be a bit drastic but you could try aiming for 4 set feeds a day and then in a couple of months try and cut back to 3. You will however have some crying - this is inevitable. If you don't want them to cry you may need to continue the feeding on demand.

The other thing I'd say is that stopping later on will get harder. I could have weaned ds at 12-13 months quite easily I think but now at 18 months it would be much harder (and I'm about to start my a thread with my own issues on that) and as I see it it it is likely to just get even harder as ds becomes more insistent and less easy to distract.