I want to stop breastfeeding - please help.

[Gina1981]

Dd is 20m and Im beginning to hate breastfeeding. I really need advice how to stop. Dd loves it and if she had her own way would bf all day. I on the other hand am not enjoying it one little bit and dread feeding her.

How do I stop? Do I need to substitute it with anything and if so what? I've tried cows milk but she hasn't taken to it. Should I have even given her cows milk?!!

I have to have breast surgery but can't until 3 months after I've stop breastfeeding and am eager to stop so I can plan a date. Any advice it greatly appreciated.

Hi I breastfed both my DDs until 20m as well! With DD1 I had to stop as had to go on anti biotics and I told her this is your last feed and that was that. DD2 was a nightmare I tried telling her I was stopping but she wasn't having any of that. In the end I stopped gradually so no feeds from breakfast to lunch then gradually moved to no feeds til bath time but still fed during the night once she was used to no day feeds I started cutting out the night feeds. It was hard work I had to go out a lot and distraction worked as well. good luck.

Luckily dd cut out the night feeds some time ago now. I refuse to feed her during the day. It's the morning and night ones. She isn't the best eater in the world. I had her weighed recently and since a year old she has only gained 1lb. Is this normal weight gain in 8 months. Im so desperate to give up bf'ing but what do I substitute it with?? She clearly isn't having enough calories etc otherwise she would have gained more weight

You can give her cows milk. Cows milk is fine as a main drink from 1 year old.

I would suggest asking someone else to do the last parts of the bedtime routine, so you are not there for a final feed. If you do bath, pjs, story, feed, then perhaps have your DH come and help with the pjs bit and then you need to 'go and put the dinner on' or something. She will probably be a bit unsettled for a few nights, but not as unsettled as cuddling you and you denying her the boob.

If you have a holiday/weekend at friends or something planned for the near future, that would be an ideal chance to change routines?

I would suggest getting a natural feeding bottle and try her on that. Some babies can take a long time to accept a bottle so starting sooner rather than later would be best.

I tried a few bottles and settled on the www.mimijumi.co.uk very hungry bottle as its as boob like as a bottle gets, lol. You'll know what I mean when you see a picture of one :)

So glad you posted this - my DS is 18mo and although I've found breastfeeding relatively easy, it's suddenly started to completely do my head in! No pain, just a massive urge to scream, "get the fuck off me!".
Problem is he's a total boob monster and we've just moved country and he's starting at a new nursery next week. So I feel it would be mean to stop right now
But I'm looking for tips to use as soon as he's settled!

Yes ''get the fuck off me' spring to mind!!!! I really want her to self wean but dd is a boobaholic. Grrrr. I've really enjoyed it but I just can't bear it anymore. Plus I need to have this op now but my surgeon said he can't operate till after I stop

I think the kellymom website says they usually self-wean between two and four years...so potentially a long wait (especially if you've got a boobaholic!)

She doesn't need a bottle at her age, cows milk in whatever cup dhe drinks water from is fine. I managed to persuade ds to stop recently, once had rationed him to once a day he lost interest within a month.
your first step is to cut out the day feeds. Feed her first thing and then have a busy day planned where you hardly sit down. Make sure solid snacks are regularly offered. If she needs to feed to sleep for a nap then you can try car or pushchair instead. Keep her busy in the afternoon too, perhaps in the care of a grand parent for an hour or two so boobs are not available. If she asks have distraction handy and avoid giving in to tantrums. Try to preempt it though by ensuring she is not hungry or thirsty or bored. Feed as usual at bedtime.
after a couple of weeks try to phase in daddy bedtimes if she is drinking milk from a beaker by then. If you are out of the house it may be easier. Do the supermarket shop or something. Then after another week or two you can drop the morning feed and proceed straight to breakfast.
it may not be easy at her age and you may have a few tears butif you need this operation waiting till she self weans is not an option as the global average age is four. She needs you to be healthy so i would just get her weaned quickly. If you keep her busy whilst also providing reassurance and cuddles she will be fine.

Kat, that advice looks great - I'm going to try it once DS is settled in the new nursery/country!
Gina, will you let me know how you're getting on?

I'm not having any luck at the moment. Dd is teething. Both molas and canines are coming through. Dd wants it more. She isn't eating very much so the breast is pretty much all she wants

Argh, maybe once the teeth are through you'll have more luck. The canines and molars are the most brutal ones for us.

My DS is having mini-tantrums if I try to refuse a daytime feed at the moment. He's also teething his 2nd canine. A month or more ago he didn't have daytime feeds anymore but when he was ill a couple of weeks ago, it was all he ate for almost a week. Gah!