Really not enjoying Breastfeeding. Please Help.

[Phoenixflame]

My DD is 16weeks old and I've been EBF. I was really enjoying it. But for the past 2-3weeks I've been in so much pain because i've got cracks in both my nipples. My nipples are just so sore.

I've been trying to see if it was a problem with her latch and if I could correct it. I've been using lansinoh. I've also tried to use nipple shields to see if that would help with the pain. But nothing's helping.

I'm starting to dread feeding her. I'm unfortunately a big wuss when it comes to pain. Feeding her is starting to stress me out and I'm not sure what to do.

I had been planning to slowly wean her onto formula at about 6months. It worked well with DS so was going to do the same with her. I know she will take a bottle she's had a little bit of water when it was baking hot. Now I'm wondering whether to wean her on to bottles earlier.

My problem is I don't know if I have it in me to do it slowly dropping a feed a week because of how much pain I'm in with my nipples and it would take about 6 weeks to do it that way. What can I do? Is there anyway for me to stop quite quickly without causing too much pain?

Sorry for the long post. If you have any advice is be incredibly grateful. Thanks.

Hopefully someone will be along to advise about latch etc if you would like to continue. However, if you decide to stop it shouldn't take 6 weeks. I had to stop quite quickly with one of my dc and I dropped a feed every 2 or 3 days and had no problems with engorgement etc. To be fair dc was a bit older though, but I found my body adjusted quite quickly.

Have you been to the doctor? Suddenly getting cracks after weeks of feeding fine sounds like thrush or something rather than a latch problem.

I really recommend you call one of the Breastfeeding support lines. If you need help with your latch or positioning, they can help you find someone in your area who you can visit or who can come to you.

If you really want to stop altogether they can advise you how to do so safely. I've had mastitis - trust me, you want to avoid it!

Thank you SJ 2-3 days per feed doesn't sound too bad. That's about 2weeks. I might manage that.
Is it suddenly stopping that will cause engorgement? Any one else with advice on stopping quickly?
I've read somewhere that sage tea helps dry up your milk. Would that help? Or cause more problems?

Ok firstly you need to see a bf counsellor or go to a bf support group, now. Sorry to be like that but you really need to get this sorted ASAP. Whereabouts do you live?

The reason you have sore nipples is because the latch isn't quite right - vv common with babies of about 3/4 months old as they're bigger than newborns & the positioning often isn't 100% right. Also things like growth spurts mean they're feeding more & your boobs aren't getting a chance to recover.

Keep with the lansinoh & after each feed rub a little BM around your nipples & leave them to airdry. Make sure you wash your bra at least every other day at 60 deg & change your breast pads frequently.

The other thing it could be is thrush - does your baby have a whitish, curdled-looking spots in his mouth? If he does then you need to get yourself to the Gp & you will both need to be treated.

Please please see a bf counsellor or support group as soon as you can as this really is simple to fix.

Feel free to PM me if you need anymore help

Thanks maja,nance and forget for all your advice. sorry I'm on iPhone so it takes bloody ages to type a response.
I hate to admit it but I'm really shy about calling a support line or seeing a BF counsellblush] I was hoping to get advice on here that would help.

Stupid phone!! Sorry that should have said I'm really shy about seeing a BF counsellor I guess that's a bit stupid though.
I haven't seen any white spots in DD's mouth. Could it still be thrush? One nipple is worse than the other and it's like I've got dry skin peeling around the cracks. (Sorry TMI)

Please don't be shy - that's what they're there for .

It's really hard to give latch & positioning advice when you're not face-to-face as we need to see you & your baby together to see what's wrong.

I had huge issues with bf when dd was newborn - apart from mastitis & thrush I had all the problems anyone can have. But my bf counsellor & support group brought me through & dd is now 10 mo & I'm still bf her. Obviously if you don't want to carryon then you don't have to, but if you do, there is help out there

I think you need to see someone in person as it's impossible for us to know what the problem is over the Internet. Can you go to a BF clinic near you? The BF support workers are so kind and helpful and there will be lots of women there with very similar problems, so you won't feel shy at all when you get there. I found it a hugely helpful and welcoming experience.

It would be such a shame to give up if you and your baby were really enjoying it before. At least give it a go at one of the BF support groups or clinics. Details should be in your little red child health book, or in the info your HV/midwife gave you.

If you had peeling, cracking skin anywhere else on your body you'd see a doctor, I think it would be worth it. Otherwise you might end up stopping breastfeeding but still having whatever problem it is if it turns old to be thrush not latch.

I guess I'm unsure whether to keep BF for as I was planning to stop anyway. I'm looking forward to having my body back to myself and with all the pain that I've been it's made me want it me more. Maybe ill have a look at the leaflets I was given by my MW. Will a BF counsellor advise me on weaning if I still want to?
Thanks maja thats very true. I'll make appointment for the drs.

Yes a BF counsellor can advise on weaning too. Maybe call the NCT breastfeeding helpline?

A breastfeeding counsellor will be able to help you continue to feed or to stop feeding safely. They will not try and make you carry on feeding if you don't want to. It's really important to stop feeding safely, particularly at the stage you're at now - if your little one has had a growth spurt recently you may get engorged pretty quickly.

I had to stop quickly and just stopped but expressed a tiny amount when I felt too full.

Phoenix, I'm an NCT breastfeeding counsellor. Sorry to hear of the issues you're confronting - please don't be shy about calling us 0300 330 0700. You do need to speak to someone so you can have a proper dialogue. There is not enough info in your post to be certain of what's happening, but you can be sure this is not normal at 16 weeks. I doubt very much it is a latch issue at this stage - it could be thrush as is suggested here.

If you called me, I'd be talking about getting a medical opinion, and I'd also help you discuss gentle weaning if that's what you wanted to talk about. But you say you were really enjoying bf - it's a shame for you to stop because of pain :( :(

Please do call!

Thank you everyone for your advice. I have a drs appointment for next week to check if it is thrush.
tiktok what information do you need? Ill happily tell you if you can help me. Can't help feel

Sorry. Bloody phone again! I'm always shy on the phone. I don't know why. I feel awkward enough calling the drs to book an appointment. Lol.

Phoenix if you don't want to phone, then email [email protected] and ask if you can be put in touch with a breastfeeding counsellor. Tell them you would prefer to email rather than phone. They will find you someone.

Hope you do this :)

I don't want to do this in public, sorry - talkboards are not great for having a back-and-forth individual conversation. Private email is managable.

I found that stopping bf is a really difficult area to get information on.

I have recently stopped bf. I did it cold turkey, which is not recommended. But in the end I had to. I wasn't enjoying it anymore, I wanted my body back, I wanted to take the strong hayfever medication etc etc, not that it matters why, but the how was the bit I found tricky.

In the end I just did it. Ds took a couple of days to adjust, but, in the main was fine. I had my mum here and did it over a weekend when DH was here too. Mainly because there were two people to do the cuddles when my boobs hurt and ds could smell milk. I took ibuprofen, sudafed, cold showers and used cabbage leaves in my bra. I'm nearly three weeks in and my boobs are still full, but every day it gets less and less. Occasionally the leak if I am warming ds a bottle and he is crying, but it's not a lot now.

To be really honest, it was really hard for a week, hard for the second week and this third week, I have had moments of uncomfortableness but it's bearable. Thankfully no mastitis or blockages but I have been keeping an eye on them.

As I say it's not recommended, but it is possible. And you could always express tiny bits off if you are uncomfortable. Also, at three weeks in, by doing it gently, we may be at the same stage, but the gentle version means no engorgment and possibly less hormonal-ness??

Good luck with whatever you decide.

OK, I didn't stop bf but I did switch to mix feeding at almost exactly this age because I went back to work quite early (at about 4 and a half months or so). The advice I was given was to choose one feed - e.g. in the middle of the day - to drop to start with, and if possible have someone else take the baby and give that feed with a bottle away from you to begin with.

I have to say that I don't really enjoy breastfeeding - I also had lots of probs with pain for the first few months - but I like it a lot more when I am doing less of it, and I am surprised to find that I am still feeding him morning and evening at 8 months and not planning to stop yet unless he decides to.

So obviously would be great to get this pain issue sorted out, and I would totally understand if you decided to stop completey, but you might want to try just replacing one or two feeds to start with and see if that turns out to be a good compromise for now? He still gets some breastmilk, but you get yourself back a bit, more flexibility, and the time "off" during the day (or whenever) might help your breasts heal more too.

Forgot to say that I know there can be probs with supply if you switch to mix feeding - some women say their milk dries up completely - but I haven't found this at all. My body has just adjusted to the new morning/evening routine, so I am only uncomfortable now if I skip one of those for e.g. an evening out. Also when, for example, he was unwell and only wanted to breastfeed (couldn't tolerate the formula) my body just ramped up the production again and quickly produced more for him, though I was very thirsty while it did so.

HUGE benefit for me of not feeding during the day is that I can wear proper bras. I have large breasts that look totally ghastly in the awful nursing stuff and although it sounds like a minor thing it was really getting me down. (And also not being able to wear dresses or anything because of needing to feed.)

Finally - sorry for huge post - when my breasts were v. sore early on (I think I had thrush too for a while) expressing was less painful than actual feeding and bought me a bit of time to sort out the infection.

Thank you for the advice tiktok I do understand here isn't the best place for a 1-2-1 conversation. I'll send an email later when both DS and DD are sleeping.
Thank you so much DoItTooJulia and kalidasa for sharing your experiences.
kalidasa I'd been considering mixed feeding too. How quickly did you reduce your feeds at first? Was 1 feed a week? Or was it quicker than that?

Yes I think I dropped one over a week or two, and another one over the week or two after that - we had a bit of time as he started at the childminder part time to begin with, I think we could have done it a bit more quickly. We had some probs with him going on "bottle strike" off and on but we just persevered with it and within a month or so there were no probs - he'd take breast or bottle quite happily, whichever was offered. He does still prefer breast if he's feeling unwell though. We used the "breastflow" bottles which are supposed to be a similar action to breastfeeding - so sort of pressing rather than pure sucking - not sure if it really made a difference but he did seem to prefer them.

Tiktok - I didn't realise that latch problems didn't happen with slightly older babies. I've been told by more than 1 bf expert that, as babies get a little bigger (around the 3-4 month mark), sometimes you can get probs with positioning as mums still try to position their baby as they would a newborn & obviously the baby is too big for that.

I'm very interested in this as I'm training to be a BF peer support worker so obviously want to ensure I'm giving out the right information!