Very unhappy please help

[Blobby11]

Hi

I hope someone can help me as I'm feeling completely miserable and can't stop crying which isn't doing anyone any good. DS2 is 3 weeks' old and I'm having huge problems with feeding. I've tried so hard to establish breast feeding but it's all going wrong.

In the first week things appeared to be ok. DS2 was very sleepy and rarely demanded milk but I made sure I fed him at least every three hours. He had both sides at each feed and settled well in between feeds as well as producing plenty of wet and dirty nappies and almost regaining his birth weight.

In the second week something changed. The feeds were significantly shorter but he was always rooting. I'd try putting him back on the breast but he'd refuse. He produced far fewer nappies and didn't put on any weight. My health visitor said I should top him up with expressed breast milk or formula if he appeared hungry but now I seem to be doing that all the time. It appears that my supply fell off a cliff but I don't understand why. It's a vicious circle as the less he feeds the less milk I'll have. I've tried putting him on the breast more often but although he latches on with enthusiasm and there's lots of swallowing it's always over very quickly and then he screams for more until I eventually give him some formula which settles him. I've tried pumping to increase my supply but only have the time to do it in the evening when he's finally worn out from so much yelling and I only get 1oz in total after pumping each side for 20 minutes.

This takes all day which is fine now but in a week DS1, who is 23 months, will stop nursery and be at home full time. I won't be able to spend all day trying to get DS2 to feed. It's this that's making me most anxious

Please help

Oh you poor thing. That sounds miserable. I'm no expert, but sounds like classic growth spurt behaviour. In which case I believe it's better to not top up as your baby's behaviour is all about building up your supply and topping up interferes with the supply-and-demand of breastfeeding. But I could be wrong as even when mine is spurting she still did plenty of wet nappies (although the frequency of her dirty nappies did sometimes wax and wane)

Has tongue tie been ruled out?

Hi

Thanks for replying. Don't think anyone has checked for tongue tie. Could I get the health visitor to do this?

I wouldn't top up with formula as it will reduce your supply. I found the kellymom website really helpful for breast feeding advice, maybe you can find some answers there. Is there a local breast feeding support group that you could contact?

Could you spend a day or so just feeding the baby, and yourself, and resting? That should help increase supply.

I found that things change very quickly, especially with supply/demand and growth spurts, and what seemed a big problem one day was gone the next. Things will be better soon.

Congratulations on your new arrival!

Def get some bf advice face to face, is there a local bf specialist attached to your hospital/dr's? Your health visitor may be able to diagnose tongue tie but personally I would see someone who really knows about bf specifically.
You really have my sympathies! Don't struggle alone though, please ask for some advice if things aren't going well . Maybe the national breastfeeding helpline?

The first weeks are the absolute hardest. I try not to remember them. It will all become a distant memory soon I promise.

Remember that it WILL get easier and it's the best start for your child

Thanks for all the replies. I'm going to a local breastfeeding group tomorrow so I'll see what they say

This is concerning stuff, from the sound of it - not a growth spurt, I don't think. Sounds like you are right - drop in supply because he was not feeding well right from the start. 3 hourly is not usually sufficient for a young baby and you had that difficult first week.

But this can be turned round - honestly. You are intervening in time, and you are going to get expert observation and help. Just do what you need to do to stop him being unhappy for the moment - yes, including formula - and tomorrow you can have a plan that will get you back on the road to bf :)

You can also get in touch with the midwife, even now, and have a phone conversation, at least.

Hi ticktok

I was so hopeful that I'd come away with a plan but sadly it wasn't to be. Whilst the woman running the group was very understanding she didn't really help.

I explained that after appearing to have a full breast feed, DS just screams and screams and doesn't settle. I had thought this was hunger which was why I topped up but I have started to wonder whether something else is going on as although the formula works sometimes, he often starts yelling again soon afterwards. I very rarely manage to get DS to burp but he does do loads of farts and really explosive sounding poos so I wondered whether the screaming was wind pain.

The counsellor said the latch was perfect and he was feeding well but it could just be that he's a really hungry baby and does need the top ups or it could be something else. She suggested I try Infacol again - I tried it for 10 days but it didn't make any difference - but that was really her only advice.

I'm just so worried about how I'm going to cope next week when my elder son cuts his nursery hours.

Oh dear - that does sound a bit useless :(

Try one of the bf helplines - you can be sure the person helping has been fully trained (which is not always the case with a group).

If your baby is unhappy after a 'full' breastfeed (as you say), then you can feed him again! There is no law against a baby having three, four, five or more 'sides' each time :)

It may be you need to work on reducing the formula, rather than just cutting it all out, though.....I still think you need a plan :)

Could it be anything like foremilk/hindmilk inbalance? Is he definitely finishing the first breast before going on to the other one?

I read something about overloading the gut with lactose caused by too much of the watery foremilk, I'm trying to find a link, but here are two others...

Reflux

Fussy while nursing

Have you tried feeding him in a more upright position?

This link describes the lactose overload I mentioned.

sewing, the OP's situation is not really like that - we have to rule out poor supply in a baby whose weight is causing concern.

Lactose overload can sometimes be a factor in over supply .

Babies absolutelty do not need to 'finish the first breast'...at least not in the sense of 'removing all the milk available'. Normally, you would let a baby decide when to come off side one, but in cases of poor supply you might anticipate this a bit more quickly, to allow 'switch nursing'.