(emotive) dd and milk in lungs.

[pinkbear82]

my 4 wk old dd stopped breathing yesterday while I was bf her - She had blood coming out of her nose. my dp and I got her breathing again and to hospital.

the doctor thinks milk got into her lungs and that she suffocated on this.
I am expressing and she is being tube fed as her breathing isn't stable enough for anything else.

How do I, if I can, bf her again without the image if my lo limp and blue in my arms. I feel like everyone is blaming me, I was feeding her, could I have noticed sooner? so many questions and I don't know what to do.

I've been sent to get some rest but I can't close my eyes without everything spinning round my head.

If she is being tube fed, chances are the tube was put it in the wrong place.

Nobody is blaming you. Stay calm and get some sleep if you can.

All best wishes

Ds1 had really bad reflux, and often inhaled it. He had apnea on a regular basis (thankfully short lived every time). It was really really tough, and I'm so sorry you are going through this.

The flow is much slower from bf than from a bottle. It is quite possible she would have inhaled much more if she had been drinking from a bottle, so it is possible that the fact that you were bf was less damaging.

It is not your fault that this happened, and anyone who is blaming you is a complete idiot. But chances are they aren't, it's just you projecting the way you are feeling.

I hope she gets better soon!

I think the tube feeding is as a result of the suffocation.

OP - no one will be blaming you. You got her breathing again and to hospital. You did the best you could in hideous, rare circumstances.

unfortunately I was feeding her as normal before she got poorly. because of her getting poorly the tube has been put in.

until she stopped breathing everything was normal and it was just another Friday.

thank u for being lovely tho

It's not your fault, it's very bad luck.

I hope your DD gets better soon.

Regarding bf again, see how you feel. If you don't feel comfortable you could express as you are now and bottle feed her the milk.

I really feel for you, please don't blame yourself.

It must have been so frightening.

I can see why it the idea of BF would terrify you, but it could just as easily have happened with a bottle too. It's understandable that you'll be very cautious about feeding her from now on.

x post. thank you.

I'm grateful she's a fighter. could be so different if she wasn't

What a horrible experience, well done for getting her breathing and into hospital.

No one will blame you. I agree with previous poster that most likely a bottle would have flowed faster and caused more damage.

I hope you do get done rest and that your dd gets better soon.

I'm breast feeding my 4 week old ds whilst reading this and my heart absolutely goes out to you. How unbelievably terrifying and traumatic for you. I hope your dd recovers quickly, you have done absolutely nothing wrong. All you have done is do the best for your dd. Try and get some rest. Xx

I'm sorry op, my dd also went blue while breastfeeding at one week old and we had to go back to hospital.

Not much advice, just wanted to reassure you that it does get better.

It was awful starting to breastfeed again, like you the image was stuck in my head.

But with time it fades [grin| now happily feeding a chubby 4 month old and that is just a distant memory. You will soon be the same

You did nothing wrong. A four week old is tiny and has tiny lungs. Perfectly ok and feeding to stopping breathing probably took a few seconds. Aspirating milk happens with bottles too.