Anyone regretted giving up breastfeeding?

[Raindrops0nRoses]

I have been breast feeding for 6 weeks now, and I am thinking about switching to formula, but I am worried I will regret it later on. Has anyone gone through anything similar?

Can you give us a bit more background as to why you'd like to do that? I won't try and encourage you otherwise but might be able to offer a longer term perspective, from my experiences at least :)

I'm torn really - not having any problems with actually feeding him, milk supply seems ok and soreness has settled down. However, emotionally I'm finding it very difficult at the moment. I'm feeding on demand roughly every 2 hours and I don't feel as though I can plan to do anything / leave the house because he is feeding so often. If I do go out its either to visit my parents, or to dash to the supermarket and then be straight home in time for his next feed. Also not being able to share night-time feeds with DH is leaving me exhausted.
I know that breastmilk is best for his health, but I am also beginning to feel I could care for him better if I were to ff.
Any advice?

Went through what you're going through, and at the time it was a momentous decision. In hindsight, it was the best decision and I wish I had done it sooner. No regrets. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty. We all do what we can manage.

I would have agreed with you in the early weeks - then we had to try formula for 2 weeks due to DS' reflux, and it made me so grateful for bfing! I missed the ease of being able to go out and stay out as long as I wanted, the simplicity of feeding vs the faffing around with bottles and sterilising and especially the closeness.

Have you tried bfing while you're out? To me, the ability to do this is what can make bf easier than ff - however I also know some babies that are not easy feeders, so it may not be an option for you! And do you have a pump so that you can start expressing and storing milk for others to take over occasional feeds? As previous posters have said, it does get easier over weeks 6-9 especially as you can usually extend feeds to ever 3+ hours, and start to express for bottles when needed.

Either way, you will be just as good a mother - if you're still on the fence, could you try a couple of days/feeds on formula while pumping every 4 hours to keep up supply, and see how you feel?

Raindrops

I do regret not bf my DD. At six weeks she was just the same as your DS, feeding frequently. I also didn't feel like I could get out of the house too. Your first is overwhelming at times, so don't be too hard on yourself.

With ff, I found it made it more difficult to go out, because you had to make sure you had enough sterile bottles and milk/powder until you got back. Considering a sterile bottle only lasts a couple of hours outside the steriliser, it's a pain in the arse.

Another thing I hated about ff is standing washing then sterilising bottles. When I should of been resting I had to do that at least twice a day. I absolutely hated it. And not to mention trying to get a night feed ready when she was hungry.

Don't be too hard on yourself. When DD was little, I used to plan in a stop in a cafe somewhere to feed her and have a brew. Still have to do that now, she is nearly two . Could you try that?

I'm bf a 5 month old at the moment and fly like you at 6 wks. There is a massive 6 wk growth spurt and looking back it became much easier after 6 wks - there was much more of a routine, I got more confident feeding out and about etc. I also promised myself I'd never decide to give up on a bad day.

Some things that helped me;
Give up doing anything else - sit on that sofa and demand food and water if you have someone willing to supply!

I started expressing around 6 wks. I express every morning and dh gives a bottle at around 10pm each night. Means I can go to bed and get a good 6 hr stretch in and I know baby is tanked up for the night.

Ff babies don't always sleep better. Mine slept for 8 hrs post 8 wks. Admittedly that has changed at 5 months and we're back to waking every 4 hrs but don't worry about that now. Just get to wk 7.

Having said that, if you do swap it's fine too - if you need it you need it.

Good luc.

When DS was 6 weeks it felt like that stage would last forever. Looking back it was over so so quickly. It really won't be long before your baby goes longer between feeds and you can get your life back a bit more. If I were you I'd stick with it

The number of times I almost gave up, I can't even count them. It was so hard, I was exhausted, baby was tongue-tied till we eventually managed to get someone to snip it at 10 weeks, supply issues, then at 12 weeks, just as I decided enough was enough, it got lots easier.

For me it helped to mix feed and we still do at 6 months. Just one bottle feed a day was enough to take the pressure off so I could continue. And knowing I had that to fall back on helped enormously. I hated breastfeeding, it was painful and not bonding in the slightest. I used to say to myself "just one more feed" and took it one at a time.

Breastfeeding does get easier, and breastmilk is undoubtedly best, but if you want to stop then you've done amazingly to get this far, and your baby has had the best start. Make the decision that's right for you. Formula is pretty good now, babies thrive on it, and the most important thing is a happy mum and a happy baby.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

PS if I had given up I don't think I'd regret it. But I do feel proud of myself for carrying on.

If you do try mix feeding, try MAM bottles!

Honestly it's possible you'll feel bad no matter how long you BF for. DS was still BF at 2.5 when I fell pregnant again and the milk dried up. Through no fault of my own we had to stop feeding (just a morning feed by then) and still I feel sad for him over it all!

You are still at the hardest bit. For me, between 2 and 6 months (especially once I learned to feed lying in bed :) ) it was lovely just being able to pick up and go, and not worry about taking things with me. To the extent that once we started weaning I found life stressful again because I always had to remember to bring snacks!

First off, congratulations on your baby! And well done for bf this far. 6 weeks is a really killer time with growth spurts.

I am still feeding my 7 month old, and to be frank I think the feeling of being 'trapped' is part of new motherhood. I know I'd have more freedom if I were to ff, but the days of running off for the weekend are still behind me (for now). Switching to formula might not alleviate all these feelings.

I also echo a poster above who asked about feeding out and about. It depends on you and your baby, but that's my lifesaver. I am pretty brazen and will now feed wherever and whenever, and so my life does feel pretty free. No need to find hot water, to bring equipment, anything like that. If you don't have them, I'd recommend nursing bras that have a little hole for the nipple - once the baby is latched on there is very little to see (the ones with fully drop down cups leave me feeling exposed). Elle Macpherson makes the first style.

Either way, you'll make the right decision for you and your baby. I wish you lots of luck.

I also have a 6 week old, and felt the same as you and switched to formula. No regrets here, I am over the moon that DD was breastfed ,as DS wasn't and I feel a pang of guilt that I was unable. Congrats btw!

Being a new mum is emotionally very difficult regardless of how you feed. Do you have a supportive partner/family/friends?

Just to reiterate and expand on some of the advice above:

If you haven't already I would invest in a really good pump. I have the lactaline by Ameda and even though I do feel a bit like a cow when I use it, it's pretty effective and comfy. I tried a Tommy Tippee hand operated one and it was horrendous! That way you can have some time off or better sleep without having to make the decision to introduce formula first. Maybe ask a friend if they have a pump you can borrow so you can check it suits you. I think the medela swing is meant to be good as well.

By 4 months my BF baby was feeding every 4 hours in the day and once in the night, and most BF babies I know were doing something similar. From 5.5months he has slept through for up to 13 hours.

I am delighted at how well he sleeps, but I still find being a mum stressful, exhausting and hard at times. I don't have family near so for 12 hours every single weekday he is still my responsibility, and this can be tough regardless of how I feed him. In fact BFing is brilliant for those (thankfully rare) times when he's having an epic crying rage as i can usually quickly calm him by popping him on! I'm so pleased I stuck with it.

Can I suggest the Wonder Weeks book too, which tells you when growth spurts are likely to happen, as knowing that it will pass and improve is hugely reassuring. 6 weeks is classic growth spurt time.

I've got a 7 week FF baby & am very sad (think a month of tears crying over it!) that BF didn't work out.

FF is a faff, between sterilising, panic about being "caught out" without a bottle ready when DD cluster-feeds, not to mention the expense (£100 a month on formula!!!). It is inconvenient not being "out & about" with DS & planning feeds. Much easier when you are BF. sometimes her feeds are 2 hours apart too, during the day.

However, have you thought about mixed feeding? Or DH giving a bottle of formula at bedtime so you can get an early night & longer sleep? That might make life easier.

It doesn't need to be one or the other.

I will say to sling, sling, sling! I felt trapped too and wanted to feel like I could get out and about. I visited the local sling library, hired a sling, and learned to bf in it. I could go to the supermarket and do my shopping without having to camp out in the cafe for an hour!

I'd recommend waiting a week before deciding, as then you might make a decision when things aren't so bad if you see what I mean, as will be past the tricky 6 week stage (and therefore you shouldn't regret whichever decision you make). I had to stop bf DD1 for various reasons and I was very upset, but it was the right decision.

This time round I've exclusively bf my 6 month old and in some ways it's been easier - no going downstairs in the night to get the bottles etc. I hate the thought of stopping, it's such a lovely thing to do. And now she goes longer between feeds I can get out and about more.

I can only speak from personal experience and we are all different. I ebf DS1 until 4 months and then mix fed until finally stopping at 13 months. This time round, whilst bf got off to a great start, for various reasons I switched to formula at 8 weeks with 1 bf a day, but even that might be going as he simply doesn't want my boobs! (I recognise this could be because he has got used the the easier life of bottle feeding as he doesn't have to put much effort in).
I was really upset and disappointed that it didn't work out as well this time and it took a good few days if crying until I finally accepted my decisions.
Anyway, that's by the by......however, a few weeks on from that decision I have to say I am so much happier. It has freed me up and means that I get a complete night off every week or so when DH takes over.
I would never try to sway someone either way, but i too felt very trapped with DS1 and I think this contributed to my pnd. Like you, I could only pop out briefly by myself and felt constantly tied to our baby - now I have the choice to go out for longer periods if I want to. I know some will say its only for a short period of your whole life thy you are doing this for, but its a really important part and I don't want to look back on it as time I was unhappy. A happy mom = happy baby as far as I am concerned!
As another reply above said, it doesn't have to be one or the other. Could you decide to express/formula feed once a day at a time you think you might find it most benefitial for you? Maybe late eve so you DH can feed and you get more rest or mid morning so you have the option of going shopping/to a cafe/sit by yourself in peace and quiet(!) for a few hours? You will be amazed how much better you may feel about the rest of the bf if you get a little time off.
At the end of the day, go with your gut feeling an look at the whole picture; I absolutely know that bf is the best way to feed your baby, but not if it is having a negative effect on you and how you feel.

Ps whilst some find ff a faff and it does take up time cleaning/sterilising, tbh I find it really easy and isn't the pita that I thought it might be x

Thank you so much to everyone for sharing your experiences. I didn't know that they have a growth spurt at 6 weeks, and it's interesting to hear that a lot of people find that ff is not the easier option as I have imagined it to be. I feel encouraged to keep trying to bf, and I think I need to get more experience with feeding in public so as not to be put off from going out. Thanks again!

Just as extra encouragement, Rain, on Thursday, I decided to pop out to the shop with 16 week DS2 around 9am. We eventually got home at 6pm, having: got some groceries; popped to see a friend; gone for a walk around the park; gone for a coffee; popped to see another friend; picked up DS1 from nursery; taken DS1 to soft play; and then DS1 and I ate ice lollies on the way home while DS2 snoozed.

We could do all this because I breastfed. I didn't have to come home and sterilise anything. I just had some nappies and wipes in the bag. He had loads of feeds throughout the day but because I didn't have to sterilise anything or pick up any bottles, we just fed in the cafe or park or at a friend's house. I had total freedom.

Although breastfeeding IS time consuming when babies are little (and I know it's not for everyone), if you can get used to feeding when out and about, it is incredibly liberating. You don't need anything but yourself.

Hope all goes well!