Breasfeeders beyond 12 months - how many times a day do you feed?

[Tinker]

Do you feed to schedule, as and when, what? Work during term-tmes so this one normally fed at morning, when get home and bedtime (plus numerous times in the night!) But wjen I'm off feel I'm being mauled all the time. Normal?

Oh Kama I really didn't mean to make it sound like I had all the answers. I suppose what I meant was I probably would have weaned ds if I had to continue bfeeding on demand 10+ times a day. I suppose I was lucky in getting a compromise in that as I said ds was never really a boob monster until he hit about 14 months. Up to that point feeding less often was pretty easy so a lot depends on the child's temprement. He does have tantrums if I refuse nowadays and distraction doesn't always work.

I suppose I started refusing to bfeed on demand quite early on so he now knows that if
I say no I pretty well mean it even if he cries a lot. Part of this is that I find breastfeeding painful and always have (have posted before about this) so generally bfeeding is something I do for ds not for me at all. Because of this I refuse more often probably than a lot of breastfeeding mothers could bear to. He does cry quite a lot but I try and cuddle/comfort though this admitedly has limited success. He has in the past cried for an hour though he doesn't do this often.

Generally we feed am and before bed ( I always offer at those timed if he doesn't ask) If ds asks in between those times I try and say yes if it is convenient and particularly if he is asking in a contented happy way. If however he is asking for a breastfeed because he is bored/upset I find that the breastfeed doesn't solve the problem and about 10-15 minutes later he is fussing again and wants to feed again.

When we get into that scenario I
start to refuse to feed him and offer cuddles and and comfort instead. He generally doesn't want this and will push me away and cry a lot.

I find this easier to cope with if I stop trying to do anything, sit down with him, pay him lots of attention (he often won't let me cuddle him) and just let him cry it out - giving him lots of assurance. I never leave him to cry alone when he is like this. He can often get very angry and has cried for an hour in the past too though not often.

Generally when he has finished crying and is calm I find he is much happier, we either go out or do something fun or I might offer to feed him at that point. Either way I find that the 'desperate' asking for a feed seems to disappear at least for that day

Thanks dinny. She's had the odd snotty nose and we all had a pukey bug once but, so far, she's done ok. Am hoping this is teething, very drooly.

Well, I will probably upset a whole lot of you. I have bf DS2 until he was a year old. He then bited me, I shouted, he got scared and refused to go back on the breast ever again. So in effect, he weaned himself - or I scared him so much he didn't want to depending how you look at it- I was upset about it as I really enjoyed my cuddles with him .
BUT, at that time he was feeding only in the evening. He had stopped being interrested in his morning feed about a month before and I would never have been able to feed him during the day as he kept being distracted by anything and everything.
I also think that past one year old, bf on demand has alot more to do with conforting on demand and there are a lot of other ways to conform a toddler than bf. Don't get me wrong, I am not against it if this is what you want but I don't think anyboddy should be ashamed on putting a bf toddler on a "schedule" and having a bf just once or twice a day when and where YOU think it is more convenient, decent etc ... Changing a behaviour partern is more and more difficult as they get older so the way I look at it is to think at where you would like to be when the child will be 2 or 2.5 years old and move in that direction at a pace that suits you and your child. And then stick to it !

At 12mths I was feeding DD in our bed in the morning and in her room at bedtime, plus a couple of feeds in the day if she wanted them. As I am just about to go back to work full time I have cut out all but the night time feed.

We just stopped bringing her into our room in the mornings and she hardly even seemed to notice that she was being taken downstairs and given a cup of milk instead.

DD is 15 months now, will keep feeding at night for a while yet ... unless she decides otherwise!

I'm currently bf my dd who's 16 months and she feeds fairly often through the day when we're at home. If I sit down, I'm fair game as far as she's concerned. If we're out and about, she tends to be distracted, so feeds much less. She also feeds several times in the night still unfortunately.

But she's very different to my ds2, who soon after his first birthday was down to 3 feeds a day - on awaking, before nap and at bedtime. (He slept through from about 8 months.) It was a routine he seemed to fall into naturally - he never seemed hooked on bf in the same way dd is - although he wouldn't drink cows milk either. Nevertheless, he still continued to bf until he was 2 1/2.

Just bf on demand - never counted how much or for how long. Have strong arms from bf whilst carrying little one around!