All my peers are giving up breastfeeding, need some solidarity!

[KnittedC]

Just that really. My DD is 4 months old tomorrow, and only one of the six women I've met through antenatal classes etc is still breastfeeding. And she is moving her DC onto formula starting this week.

I'll be the only one left!

I struggled a lot in the first couple of months and only made it through one feed at a time. But now I love the convenience of it, the closeness and cuddles, and how it's a fail safe way to soothe and calm my baby.

I'm proud that I've got this far and I plan to continue BFing until my DD is a year, as long as it continues to suit us both.

I understand and respect all my friends reasons for moving to formula, and I quite honestly don't judge them negatively.

My issue is that I always feel on edge talking with them about BFing, because I'm so worried about sounding smug, rude or judgey. I've got no one to share my experiences with! There's not a LLL group nearby but I'd love to chat to other breastfeeding mums.

My bfing days are done but I sympathise. All my friends seemed to count down the days to six months (totally their prerogative) whereas I just didn't stop and bf both my children until they were nearly 2. Just keep going, I actually found it a very special and private thing for me and my babies to enjoy together, there was no need to discuss it with anyone.

I feel the same as you, my DD is just over 6 months and most people seem surprised that I'm still feeding her & asking when I'm going to start 'getting my life back' and give her a bottle to make her sleep all night. Sigh.

I would suggest not talking about feeding at all if you can help it (very soon all talk will be about starting solids anyway!) it's your choice and maybe focus on the convenience etc if people persist.

I sympathise, I was the last in my group to stop. I found coming on here good, if I needed to discuss. It gets easier socially quite quickly because once you start weaning in a couple of months, once you are weaning you feed less often, I knew no one who had bf past a year irl, but post 7/8 months I very rarely fed in public. I fed until mine were about 20 months, it was easy, faff free, less washing up, less stuff to drag round, free, best for baby, best for my health, no brainer.

Kellymom is excellent if you haven't found it already.

I was incredibly luck all the mums who I know, who successfully BF carried on for years not months so continuing feeding DD2 until she was 5 didn't raise any eyebrows.

That she carried on after that might have done, but she knew her friend had stopped and not to cause upset. Her friend still climbed in mums bed and was a pain, DD2 had instinctively realised years before that BFing was conditional on letting mother get some sleep and not asking in public.

And yes once DCs move on to real food it's terribly easy to carry on, they feed much less often and for less time.

DD2 hates formula/cows milk and that as well as it being her special thing is why she didn't stop.

I'm not worried about them judging me as I'm completely comfortable with my decision, anyone can judge away if they like. I'm happy that I'm doing the right thing for my DD.

It's more that I don't feel free to talk about my experience without worrying that I sound judgemental of them for having stopped. I want to be able to discuss how hard it was and how proud I am I got this far without it sounding like an implied criticism.

Perhaps I'm just completely over thinking it!!

Talk about it on MN with like minded bfers. They will think you are judging them. It's not worth it.

Yes, talk to us! I'm still feeding my 17mo. Glad you're keeping going!

OP i know exactly what you mean! My friends have either ff from birth or a couple of weeks after birth, so i have had noone to really talk to when ive been battling through the first hard few months! When i have tried to talk to them about how hard ive found it (i dont anymore, but at the beginning) they always try to encoarage me to switch to formula, but as anyone who is determined to bf will understand, thats not what you want to hear, even though they are just trying to help!

I have found now that its got easier though, and im starting to feel more confident, but when i do have any problems i find coming on here helps a lot. Even now though i feel a bit jealous of friends who have had babies months after me and have already had way more "date nights" with their partners, or nights out, or can leave their baby with someone last minute without having to have loads of notice to pump milk! And i wish i had someone in the same boat for solidarity as you say!

Also as a bit of an aside, something that ive found a little annoying if im honest is when ive had friends who have stopped bf early on, compliment me for carrying on but then quickly follow up with BUT " i was too exhausted after the birth" or " BUT i had a terrible labour" or " BUT i had sore nipples" as though it has been easy for me. I obviously totally understand their reasons for not starting/stopping, but by implying that it was easier for me sortve undermines my efforts. I feel like saying that no, i also had a very painful and long back to back labour which ended in failed vontouse, forceps and episiotomy and a lot of blood loss afterwards, and i was exhausted for the first two months because i never recovered from the birth due to feeding day and night every 1-2 hours. I also had cracked and bleeding nipples. I cant come back with this however as it would then look like i was being smug when in fact i feel like defending my own efforts! I am supportive of my friends decision to start off or switch to ff, especially knowing how hard it is, but it gets my back up when (some of them) then try to undermine my efforts to "justify" their own decisions to me (when it wasnt even me who brought the topic up!)

I'm still feeding 15 month old and love it. More so since going back to work, he snuggles in and it's our special time.

Shame there's no LLL near you. They tend to have a FB page where people chat and post for support. Maybe fine your local one and join that?

Thanks for the support everyone, it's good to talk to others in the same boat. Especially when my friends talk about how well their FF babies sleep, and I'm up and down all night with my sleep-regressing 4mo!!

Dreamer - I know exactly what you mean, I didn't have a particularly difficult birth, but I did require ventouse, 3 (yes 3) cuts requiring stitches, and sufficient blood loss to require 3 iron transfusions. And then one of my cuts opened in the days after the birth. So like you, I had to push on through a pretty tough time in order to carry on BFing, and I'm pretty proud of that!

I am breastfeeding a 2.7 and the comments stopped at around a year old... Just smile and say you love it. I always try and be open about my reasons, not that it's anyone's business, but knowledge a power and all that! The more people know the more they understand.

The comments and questions I used to get we're:

Don't you want your body back?
Isn't it unfair in dh not being able to feed baby?
Don't you want a drink?
Isn't it weird now she's older?
So, when are you stopping, do you have a plan