16 week old baby - breast feeding taking 1hr each session...HELP!!

[2tiredmama]

I have a 16 week old baby boy who is a fast drinker but after a few minutes on each breast starts giving out arching his back in frustration at me and yet there is still milk there when I hand express to check. My theory is that after he gets the easy fore milk that he is not willing to work harder to get the hind milk as he is quite used to 2 expressed bottle feeds per day (1st and last feed) where the milk drinking is easy peasy. I thought he was teething when this behavior started 4 weeks ago but now I don't think so even though he gets red faced when on the breast and I can feel a slight bump on his top middle gum but he's in perfect good form when not at the breast. however he does have liquid poos a few times a week? He's had a bottle since week 1 in some shape or form as I have bad postpartum tendonitis in both wrists so it's not like bottles are new to him. I breast feed him 3 times during the day and each session takes between 50 and 75 minutes with all the stopping starting as we have a stand off where I have to walk him round the room with the doddy for him to calm down and I have swap sides every couple of minutes meaning I can't read, talk to others or do anything else (as he's easily distracted now)and feeding in public is a no go anymore!!! Has this happened to anyone else? any theories or remedies as after 4 weeks I am truly exhausted by it??? And also even with all the stops and starts he still feeds for about 40 mins, I thought feeding time reduces alot by this age especially as he is a fast drinker? Many thanks.

How much expressed milk are you giving?

Has he been checked for tongue-tie?

We offer him 7oz first thing and he usually drinks 6.5oz and we offer him 5oz as a top up just before bed and he usually drinks all of this. Any thoughts?

Tongue-tie sounds like a possibility. 3 feeds from the breast also seems very few, so could this be affecting your supply? How often are you expressing?

He was checked for tonugue tie when about 10 days old so don't think so but will get it checked again just in case, thanks :) I feed him every 4 hours until the evening so it's ...8am (7oz Exp), 12pm (BF), 4pm (BF), 7.30pm (BF) and 9.30pm (5oz Exp). I pump first thing and get about 10 oz between both sides and again at about 11pm/12am and get about 3 oz between both sides. I do this to give my wrists a rest, to allow my hubby to bond with him and because bottle feeding only takes 15 - 20 mins!! and when he is fussing at the breast there is definitely still milk as I easily hand express some....

Do you swap sides every time he comes off? Are you feeding by his cues or to a schedule?

Yes I swap sides once he won't go back to one side and as a bove I feed to a schedule but it doesn't work to the minute of course and if he's hungry first Of course I feed him but generally the schedule works for him too.

3 bfs a day at that age is not much, even with 2 bottles on top. Could your supply be suffering? How much do you express and how often.

Oh and sorry, meant to say that my DD was always a very long feeder and I was told that, though most will speed up earlier, it can still be normal to take up to an hour at 4/5 months. By the time she passed 4 months, she sped up by herself, just gradually, and now at 7 months takes 10-20 mins. Also the length of feeds may be linked to not feeding frequently, babies rarely go 4 hours during the day unless they have a long nap or they're a bit older. Good luck!

Seems like a long gap between feeds, maybe he is hungrier than you think so fusses?

Also if it helps my slow feeder has finally sped up a bit later than his peer group, he is 5.5 mo

Could using the dummy in the middle of the feed also be part of the challenge? Our lactation consultant said to use it only after and beer before or during as it can confuse or tire out the sucking reflex...

thanks for all the comments. Think I'll try add an extra feed in the morning time and see if that helps but would he not cry if he was hungry before the normal feeding times? I do use the pillows for support for feeding but previously he needed a lot of hands on help due to my flat and inverted nipples (hence the tendonitis) and when he got big enough to latch on himself we had an easy time for oh about 2 weeks and then this problem cropped up so I can't seem to get a break at this BF to enjoy it properly :( and now he needs a lot of hands on help with the constant side swapping and the cushions just get in the way but I let my lap and forearm take most of the weight and I wear wrist splints when possible. As for the doddy I only started to use it as a prop during feedings when he doens't take either side just to keep him calm and to take a break as he'll take the breast again after a while as if I didn't use it he would be hysterical and would be too upset to try again :(
I really wish I was brave enough to BF every feed but between my wrists and the time each feed takes I really couldn't take it plus my nipples are more tender than most as one very inverted. Sorry if they sound like excuses but truly doing my best and have had lactation consults a few times and they don't have an answer for this problem so hoping other Mum's might!!

PS. I just fed him a bit early to check how his mood would be and it made no difference as it went like this. First 10 mins were fine with one bit of crankiness in the middle to swap sides which of course I did. He then wouldn't feed for 10-15 mins arching his back whilst groaning at me as usual. After that he fed intermittently for 20 mins swapping sides constantly by arching his back and moaning again until he eventually settled into it on one side and behaved like an angel. All of this is a typical example of how each feed goes and if he's not tired (as he just woke himself from 1.5hr nap), has a fresh nappy and must be hungry if ate 3hrs prior would could cause this behavior when he only started it 4 weeks ago??????????????

I would try and see an expert face to face - breastfeeding counsellor or lactation consultant. He's in a pretty unusual pattern for a breastfed baby - very large feeds with big gaps - so it's hard to know what's going on.

Could you try block feeding and no routine. I'd keep the two bottles you have. But during the day feed for however long he wants eg the 10 mins and then offer that side again for two hours if he wants it. Then change sides for the next two hours. This would help increase your supply and also be less stressful as he's eating what and when he wants. It may take a week or so to see any difference but he may space the feeds himself.

Before that I would try breast compressions though so when he's starting to slow down then compress and he might stay on to get the milk.

You could also express between feeds and offer as a top up but I think this would be harder to maintain. Might be best to follow his cues but keep the bottles as it gives your wrists a break.

Block feeding reduces supply mrswishywashy - it's used to correct oversupply. Switch feeding is used to increase supply.

My dd arches her back & fusses mid feed when she has wind. Have only read thread really quickly but do you try winding him when he does this? Sounds very frustrating for both of you.

I realise that and wouldn't usually say that however when I rang the bfing hotline thats what the lady suggested and it was a similar situation as OP said. Maybe overall go with the flow, maybe the 10 mins is enough although he may feed closer together than the four hours. If trying to feed him for an hour plus is causing stress cut back and feed when he wants.

I have concluded it may be teething and will explore pain relief options and see what happens. Thanks again ladies and wish me luck :)