what is the difference between...

[flipflopson5thavenue]

BFing on demand, and what I've seen people on here call "don't offer, don't refuse" or something? Is that not the same as basically giving them milk when they demand it? Or is it more about when you're working towards ending BFing?

Don't offer, don't refuse is for weaning older children. Lots of people stop feeding on demand after babyhood to though - keeping feeds to bedtimes or home for example, or night weaning.

They are not much different. But, as you say "don't offer, don't refuse" is something you do when working towards ending BFing. If you're feeding on demand, you can (and often do) offer to feed the baby whenever.

Don't offer don't refuse is a weaning technique, most appropriate to nursing toddlers. When ds2 was approaching 2.5, it became obvious that he wasn't as interested in our now once daily nursing session, so I simply stopped offering. He stopped asking after a couple of days. He had other things he would much rather be doing.

And on demand feeding is precisely that and most appropriate to small babies. If baby wants a feed every 90 minutes, go with it. IME it is so much easier and your supply adjusts much quicker to baby's growth. It seems a bit relentless around growth spurts, but no more than the squawking of a hungry baby fed to schedule.

Cockney is right about feeding on demand (or some people prefer "on cue") often involving offering - if a baby is grumpy or unsettled you instinctively offer a feed. You wouldn't offer a grumpy 18 month old a feed if you are trying to curb/end breastfeeding.

Yes, 'on demand' isn't a great expression, is it. Makes babies sound like difficult houseguests or something. (Not a complaint at the OP - it's a common expression!)

thanks, thought as much. DS is 11mo and starting to eat more and noticeably drink less BM. I feed him first thing, and I feed him to sleep twice for his naps, and feed him at bedtime (and 1-3 times during the night). Until a few weeks ago he was also having a couple more feeds, normally about an hour before his meals. But the other day he pretty much refused all milk, except his first nap and at bedtime. I tried not to take it personally..! ;-)

Like with any change in routine it'll take a while for me to work out what he wants, when he wants it. I still offer him boob if he seems miserable/crying for no apparent reason just incase he's hungry, but he's just as likely now to try to crawl back off me after a little comfort suck and go back to whatever he was doing.

I'm going back to work in 2mo and will then only be able to BF in the morning (if he's up before I leave) and at night, and whenever he likes at the weekend/nighttime so I guess I'll just go with the flow over the next couple of months and if he's naturally moving towards just a morning and evening feed of his own accord I certainly won't try to change that. I suspect he's tanking up at nap/bed and nighttime anyway, so will soon be happy with no milk during the day, which suits me as I'll be at work and he'll be at nursery!