help me carry on bf, im about to give in

[joanna0211marie]

I have been exclusively breastfeeding since birth, she is only 12 days old but I already have horrendously cracked and sore nipples and mastitis in both breasts, everytime she latches on it feels like someone is pulling a knife down my nipple, im contemplating bottle feeding but I just cant bring myself to do it because breast milk is whats best for my baby it's just im in excruciating pain where im pulling my hair out to deflect some of the pain elsewhere. Please help, im crying my eyes out as im writing

So pleased to hear you've had some help. Get that tie snipped as soon as you can, it will transform feeding for you!

I remember it well. Ds2 (now 21m) had a tongue tie which wasn't snipped until 5 weeks. For that time and several weeks afterwards feeding was excruciating, so I know absolutely what you're going through, and it is the worst.

I absolutely encourage Jelonet, too. None of the other nipple creams worked for me. I used to bf, apply small square. Then next feed would be expressed from a bottle, then repeat. That way my nipples had a couple of hours to heal before the next feed. I got myself into a routine of expressing, so dh could give the bottle in between boob feeds, so I could get some rest. And what someone said upthread, take it one feed at a time.

Chocolate, cake, biscuits, tea and some TV. And Mumsnet. It literally saved my breastfeeding life. I posted a lot. Really a lot! And everyone was so supportive. So carry on posting. We're all behind you
PS We're still breastfeeding, in spite of the horror at the beginning, so you can get through it!

Thankyou, my partner of 6 years has also just broken up with me because im so depressed with the pain, he said our lives would be Better if I had bottlefed, I politely told him to fuck the hell off if he thinks im putting that in my daughter's mouth, no offence to anyone who has its just my choice.

Oh gosh joanna - just checked in to see how you're getting on. I hope you have good family/friends around you?

so sorry to hear that joanna. I hope you are ok. Keep posting!
Well done on getting so much of the bf stuff sorted out. you sound like a very determined lady. Be kind to yourself.

Oh OP just been reading this, what a rough start! Have you had the tongue tie snipped yet? I found having the latch checked after both mine beneficial as it meant that I took the time to make sure it was as good as possible and that the babies were adjusting to their new tongues well.

As for your partner breaking up with you-I reckon that could be more to do with him no longer being the centre of attention? He should be there supporting you both not throwing hissy fits! If DH had broken up with me cos I was having feeding challenges we'd have split up daily! Good luck!

Oh, Joanna, I like you more and more. This gal is not judging you adversely for being - militant? is that the word I want? - about breast is best.

Well, he's scum for laving you 'because you're depressed', FFS, did he think everything would be plain sailing & giggles?!? You're well rid..

Which part of the world do you live? There's got to be MNers who can help out IRL. We live in South Essex if this is any good.

Hi joanna you really are having a tough time, you sound so lovely and all you want is the best for your baby.

Did the mw say anything about the tongue tie? Will it be cut? I only ask as my DS had a tongue tie and so he was squashing my nipple causing terrible pain, everyone thought I had thrush because of the pain but it was because of the tongue tie. Once it was cut it all got so much better.

Also I found rugby ball hold when he was little a great position, do you have a nursing cushion? Really good to get in a good position too.

I hope you get some more help and keep asking for help in RL until you can achieve pain free nursing, it is possible I promise! Until then, be kind to yourself, snooze with your new baby, stay in pjs, have lots of lovely drinks and nice snacks. Hope you get on ok

He says the reason im depressed is because of the breastfeeding...well duh! If u felt like someone was slicing your nipples open with a blunt bread knife im guessing he wouldn't be to bloody happy about it.... And in turn it's making him depressed, well booeffinhoo! Health visitor has referred me to 2 hospitals for the tongue tie to see which one gets back first so we can have it sorted ASAP. I just keep going with it because I can imagine just how lovely it will feel when the pain stops and it's something no one can share with us, also convenient if she needs feeding when were out as u don't need to fart about boiling and sterilizing, one midwife told me that breast milk is a living thing and adapts as your baby grows, well I think that's pretty bloody amazing for white stuff that pours out of my boobs! I live in north Yorkshire, can't do rugby hold at 3 in the morning so using nipple guard and feeding lying on my side again, get so stressed trying to get a good latch when we won't get one anyway till the tie is sorted, will just suffer for the greater good! Thanks ladies, you've all been very supportive and lovely x

Thank goodness they've found the tonguetie and I hope it gets sorted asap. Both my boys had tongue tie and I recognise the pain you're describing, although I used to say it was like having razor blades sucked through your nipples each time.

Having it snipped should help substantially, although the later it's done, the more your baby will have to work to retrain the way they suckle. DS2 was only done at 5w and he has had some issues ever since, causing me ongoing pain on one side when he clamps too tight (only one side, bizarrely!) We're 8m in now and still going; he has 3 teeth and has to be reminded to be gentle quite regularly.

Expressing while your nipples heal is a good thing to do too - I find the Avent manual pump to be quite good and reasonably priced. It takes a little time to learn how to express effectively but once you've got it, it makes a big difference. Even just one day expressing can be enough to allow things to heal sufficiently - although 2-3 days is better if you can manage it.

If you're getting mastitis, you might have over-supply, if you're changing sides too frequently. You don't have to feed off both boobs every feed; sometimes just one will be enough. Sometimes, if they only have a small amount (i.e. just a snack feed) off one boob, you need to continue with the same boob next time.
Also, you may need to support your breast in your hand - I have to do this or I get blocked ducts underneath.

You're doing so well and I hope that your BF sorts himself out as regards to what's important here! i.e. not him

You poor thing. I've been there with the sore boobs but if you promise yourself you will do everything you can to get it sorted before you stop you have done your best. Call the NCT you don't need to be a member. They're fab and not militant. Your boyfriend needs a long hard look at himself in the mirror. Idiot! I suspect he feels helpless and traumatised too but has a crap way of showing it. Can you afford a bf counsellor to come over to you? I paid £150 but figured that was only 10 boxes of formula. Changed my life in those early days. With dd1 just used shields all the time; she was fine weight wise but feeds were long etc so I decided to sort issue with dc2. All the best

Not long to go now till your local breastfeeding clinic is open again... I was amazed how helpful mine were, hope yours will be the same. Hang in there! If you turn up early they may let you do a feed with them, then hang about for 90 mins or so and do another one that way you can get the most help and practise with different holds and both sides!

I agree that rugby ball hold is the way forward. I am only 6 days in and was starting to struggle with latch pain, and I don't have anywhere near the issues you have and I was starting to doubt myself, we'll done for persevering! Midwife came for check and advised rugby ball hold and it has made a big difference but it does still hurt.

I'm seconding the Savoy cabbage advice. Keep a load in fridge, after each feed put a leaf on your boob in your bra for half an hour, then smother lansinoh on your nip. I thought it was just soothing because of temp/shape etc but apparently there is an enzyme in the leaf that helps.

I'm fighting with DH too, I'm sure he will realise he is being a dick. It is a massive change for you both and it is going to cause friction. Hope you can sort it all out.

Let us know how you get on xxxx

It would be very helpful if you could get the tongue tie done asap. As Thumbwitch said, the longer you leave it the harder it can be for baby to re-adapt to latching properly. We left it 5 weeks because I was waiting to have ti done in hospital, thinking that would be best, it wasn't cut properly by the General Surgeon, he left half of it behind. So we carried on for another 10 days before we saw a private lactation consultant who cut it properly. Even after that it took until he was 10 weeks old until it stopped being painful all the time. Try calling here I seem to remember they are northern somewhere! If not, they can put you in touch with someone local who can help.

Just checked and they have 'rapid response' available in Yorkshire. Call them!