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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Dummy or not to dummy... And unhelpful HV

25 replies

bogbean · 12/06/2013 18:38

My HV keeps stressing how important it is to stop my 7 week old DS from comfort feeding.

However, they aren't offering any helpful advice on how to stop him.

If I unlatch him he fusses and cries and roots. On bad days he is permanently attached to me it seems.

I am on the verge of introducing a dummy (very reluctantly). Should I wait and see if he improves... Or does anyone have any advice on curbing this behaviour. My nips are sore!

OP posts:

didireallysaythat · 12/06/2013 18:45

I used a dummy for the same reason. But to make sure there wasn't more to the suckling I monitored weight gain after I'd introduced the dummy. In our case it stayed around the same week on week. I'm not sure about comfort feeding.. I thought that involved chocolate (or is that just me?)

sarahandemily · 12/06/2013 18:52

I used a dummy in that situation too and it definitely helped. At 7 weeks breast feeding should be established so no problems there. I would go for it if you are sore

meepsmum · 12/06/2013 18:57

Go for the dummy. ..if I hadn't my DS would have been on my poor nipples permanently.
Now 8mo and not that dependent on it...just needs for naps when at home and the odd night grumble.
Ignore stupid HVs....

nextphase · 12/06/2013 19:04

Give it a go, he might make the decision for you, and reject it. not looking at you DS2

LillyofWinchester · 12/06/2013 19:04

If you're sure it's comfort feeding you could try the pantley pull off technique- basically when the sucking slows to that sleepy kind and they are almost asleep you unlatch them and the gently put your finger under their chin and hold their mouth closed. If after a few seconds they are still rooting and getting unsettled you let them have the breast back again, and then try the pull off again in a few more minutes. I've had a quick google and this link was the first to come up but sure there are other descriptions on the net too:

www.pregnancy.org/article/when-your-baby-wakes-frequently-feed-pantley-pull

I'd be inclined to wait it out a bit before introducing the dummy as even a week can make a big difference in babies that small. Also as didireallysaythat said, keep an eye on the weigh gain if you do start using a dummy.

Jimmybob · 12/06/2013 19:09

You are probably going to hate me for saying this....
and....it is a long time since my two were babies - now 11 and 6. 7 weeks is still really little and althought it feels all encompassing now at some point it will feel like it was just a phase. I always thought it took my two about 3 months to really get into anything resembling a routine. Personally I would keep persisting. (I am wondering if this is your no1? My second was easier as really I just couldn't pick him up all the time (although I must admit he got picked up quite a bit) as dd1 was around so he just had to get on with it - although there is something wonderful about the bonding process that demand feeding gives you.)

Anyway the bit that people are going to hate...I really dislike dummies for a couple of reasons. It tends to delay speech and I think you delay the inevitable.. All of my friends that used dummies then had a devil of a job to get rid of them. Unhappy children, sleepless nights etc. I always felt it was a little pain now (sorry quite literally in your case) to save a lot of problems later. I also don't think it really works if you are breast feeding. Sorry if anyone disagrees - it is just my opinion.

I would persever and see how it goes and cabage leaves in the bra work wonders!

Jimmybob · 12/06/2013 19:10

And you can still get into a routine with demand feeding!

BCBG · 12/06/2013 19:10

My biggest dummy sucker is just off to Cambridge. Just sayin'.

EauRouge · 12/06/2013 19:13

My HV keeps stressing how important it is to stop my 7 week old DS from comfort feeding.

Why?

If you feel that he is feeding too frequently, it might be that he's not transferring milk effectively. The sore nipples are also not something that you should just put up with. This might be something as simple as a positioning problem, or at the other end of the scale, it might be tongue tie. I think you need to talk to someone that's got more knowledge of breastfeeding. Is there a breastfeeding counsellor nearby or a group you can go to?

If he is having trouble breastfeeding then a dummy might add to the problem. It is normally recommended that you wait until breastfeeding is established before introducing one and it sounds like things aren't quite there yet.

daftdame · 12/06/2013 19:16

Another one who gave a dummy, well actually to tell the truth I didn't the nurses in the hospital did. Was useful though, settling purposes and stopped him putting everything in mouth at the age when they do.

However I breastfed (until nearly 2), babies teeth grew fine, when he was old enough to bribe managed to take away dummies in return for new (coveted) toy truck.

Noggie · 12/06/2013 19:16

I ended up resorting to dummies with both my dd because they just wouldn't stop 'feeding' day and night. Neither had delayed speech or had problems 'giving up' . Also thumb sucking is harder to solve! I never ever thought I would use one and hated the look of them but they did help.... Maybe you could try and see- my sis little one refused to take one despite her best efforts

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 12/06/2013 19:22

Has he been checked for tongue tie? DD was like this and there was a massive change after her tie was snipped at 12 weeks! I had a similar HV to yours, then chanced on a different one who was much more help.

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 12/06/2013 19:35

X post with Eau Rouge who put it much better.

It was after lurking on posts by her (and Tiktok, and others- thank you all ) that I got my latch/DD checked by aforementioned lovely HV who told me to investigate further. First one was like yours and just said 'she is comfort sucking'

Original poster

bogbean · 12/06/2013 19:44

He feeds very well with a good latch, but when full/just wanting comfort, he slips to a shallow latch and just lazily gnaws on my nipple. Not fun!

I will give the pantley method a go. My gut says no to dummy, but I'm keeping an open mind.

OP posts:

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 12/06/2013 19:54

Ouchee! Hope it gets better for you

weeblueberry · 13/06/2013 10:52

We were so so reluctant to give a dummy. When our daughter was in neo natal they just gave her one to soothe her without checking with us. I was pretty shocked and asked for her not to be given it again-she didn't mind. Then when we got home she developed colic and a couple of people said the sucking could help with the gassy pains and to give it a go. Reluctantly we did and are glad we chose to. She's very selective about when she wants it, doesn't sleep with it or have it unless she's basically inconsolable in any other way. We spoke to a number of people and the research we did suggests it doesn't affect their communication later on. And unless they have it until they're much older the impact on their teeth is minimal.

EauRouge · 13/06/2013 11:29

'Comfort feeding' is important, restricting access to the breast can result in a drop in supply. I really think it's worth talking to a breastfeeding counsellor about this. The Pantley method is not meant to make newborns feed less frequently, it is a method for nightweaning older babies.

How often does he feed?

Original poster

bogbean · 13/06/2013 12:38

He feeds properly every few hours in the day and 2-3 times at night. But when he is troubled with gas or grizzly he wants to "comfort suck". It is very different from his proper feeding suck. I don't mind too much but I am worried that he will go on needing me in this way when he gets older. This was HV's concern. Maybe I should just go with the flow...? So confused!

OP posts:

EauRouge · 13/06/2013 12:44

Your HV is dead wrong here. You absolutely cannot spoil a baby. It is completely normal for a small baby to feed very frequently and need comforting. It's a big, scary world for someone that's been in a nice, warm, safe place for the last 9 months. Frequent feeding now will not make a rod for your own back, or anything of that stuff.

If he's very gassy then it may be that he's taking in air during a feed. Does he ever make clicking noises when he feeds?

daftdame · 13/06/2013 13:25

I went with the flow, through some amazing growth spurts, at one point fed every hour! This did not last forever though. I suspect once my milk production was up, that is had responded in kind, he ceased feeding so often. If I had not done this (2 separate occasions) I don't know whether my body would have produced the extra milk.

WoTmania · 13/06/2013 16:30

Nursing isn't just about nutrition and there is nothing wrong with comfort sucking (although if your nipples are sore it's worth exploring why and how to help). Babies have a strong need ot suck and be at the breast.

HadALittleFaithBaby · 13/06/2013 19:12

We have similar with DD who is 8 weeks. The fussiness and gas have been massively improved by giving her gripe water before feeds maybe 3/4 times a day.

I have tried with a dummy - 4 different types! - and she will not take them. I am not buying any more! Interestingly she'll take a bottle of expressed milk but as soon as she realises there's no food involved she spits it out! So even if you try to introduce it he may not take it.

If you can cope with feeding I'd keep going. Introducing an expressed bottle gives me about half an hour to myself in the evening while DH does bath and bottle. It's whats kept me sane with a hungry baby! :)

Original poster

bogbean · 14/06/2013 01:21

Well... he sure don't like dummies!

I am secretly relieved! Ha

OP posts:

HadALittleFaithBaby · 14/06/2013 06:17

If he's going to take a dummy, the Mam ones are your best bet. I felt like that about dummies too. Clearly don't need it!

Ivvu6 · 14/06/2013 06:21

Mine didn't like dummies either, as soon as she realized nothing comes out of it she spat it out. Try Mam dummy. Most babies who don't take others will take theses. I hated the idea if giving her a dummy, she was also comfort feeding and that was only way of getting her to sleep. I thought I'll go mad,.my nipples hurt and it was horrible time. After she started taking dummy, she has her feed then comes off the boob and I'll give her a dummy. Ever since i did it she is much calmer and happier. and now i only give it to her when she needs to go to sleep. She won't even want itany other time.

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