Night weaning 11 month old help please

[Judyandherdreamofhorses]

I've started trying to night wean 11 month old DS as I can't cope with the frequent night wakings any more. (usually 2 hourly, often more frequent).

I started trying to teach him to 'self-settle' about 3 weeks ago, by breaking the milk-sleep association at bedtime, reading a story between feed and cot, and making sure he was awake when I put him in his cot. This part is going really well. He falls asleep, usually with no crying, as long as I'm in the room. Same with daytime naps, amazingly.

In the night, I've been trying to cut the feeds short. Only allowing one side and trying not to let him fall asleep so that he goes into his cot awake. Mostly this is happening. Occasionally I think he's asleep when he goes in the cot, just because I can't keep him awake. These night feeds are now about 5 minutes or less.

If he doesn't think he's going to be fed, he screams and cries. But the wakings are just as frequent. Although the feed are short, I'm still up a lot and finding it hard to go back to sleep.

Where am I going wrong? I night weaned DD at 13 months with more of a cold turkey approach, but didn't feel that right for DS at the moment.

You say it all in your last sentence - if you want to stop this problem you'll have to go cold turkey like you did before. It's good that he's learning to self-settle at bedtime, but until he stops waking for feeds, it doesn't give either of you a break. Just remember - a good night's sleep will benefit him as well as you. Also, he's old enough to manage without night feeds. Good luck!

We managed it over a few nights at 10 months old with DS2.

So first night, I didn't feed before midnight. DH cuddled / patted him back to sleep I laid on the bed settee downstairs with pillows around my ears

Second night, I didn't feed before 2am. Third night 5am. It took about 3 or 4 nights and then he was sleeping through. DH was with him whenever he woke.

We got to him waking at 5.30am, being so chuffed he slept until that point.

However, at just over 3 years old, he still wakes at 5.30am. Agh!! If I had my time again, I would definitely get him sleeping through until 6/7 and not 'give up' the night weaning, until we were at a more respectable waking time!!

Are you ff out bf? If you are bf I don't think you can settle him without feeding him tbh as surely he'll associate you with milk?

If you are ff then I would offer water in a bottle which is what I did but ds was older.

Really though imo 11 months is still very tiny, of I had my time again I'd continue with night feeds until 14-15 months and then go cold turkey as by that age I could be sure they were getting enough in the day.

Sorry just seen that you are bf.

That technique sounds possible, sheep. Cutting the feeds short isn't working really.

Judy - it's a more hardcore approach (although I think gentler on my milk supply!), but I'm pleased DH was with him when he was crying and just made sure when he wasn't hysterical, that DS2 was in his cot.

I guess if you are just cutting feeds short - by that age, I think they actually feed very quickly and efficiently anyway, so he may still be taking the same amount of milk anyway. And when he is waking up, he still has the milk and comfort to get him back to sleep (with your technique), which I guess would still see results (as you aren't feeding back to sleep fully), but will probably take longer maybe?

It's so hard isn't it. Good luck with whatever you choose. Also, it is probably worth getting your DH / DP to do it, as your LO won't smell the milk either that way.