Feeling guilty for bottle feeding

[hairdressergem]

Hello everyone I'm new to the site so apologies if I'm doing it wrong. I've been breast feeding my 8 day old son since birth but he's just so demanding. It seems to be whenever he's awake he's hungry and its exhausting. I can feed him then 10 minutes later he's rooting for more. I have a 5 year old daughter and I feel like she's missing time with her mum because all my time is took up with my son. I've got some formula but can't bring myself to give him any, the feeling of guilt is overwhelming. I'm really struggling to know what to do. The pressure to breast feed is immense but wouldn't it be better for my son to have a happy mum and enjoy these precious weeks with him. I'd be very grateful for everyone's opinion. Thanks

The first few weeks of breastfeeding are hard work, but I promise it gets easier and quicker. You could always read a book to your DD whilst feeding, or watch a film/ programme. Someone I know has a box of things like colouring books, toys etc that the elder DC can only get out and play with when she is feeding the baby. That works really well.

However if you want to give formula and are just looking for someone to tell you it's ok. Then it's ok, you have to do what is best for your family.

It only feels like yesterday I was in your position and it is so hard when you feel like you are neglecting your other child when you just want to make the transition to 'family of 4' as smooth for them as possible and get into something that resembles normality. My DS is 4 and a half and DD is now 10 months.

I was going to suggest exactly what Dannilion has suggested as it really helped for me. Try reading to your DD while you are feeding or the box of things that comes out when you are feeding worked really well for us. Also don't be afraid to resort to the TV for the time being if that helps. In these early weeks just do whatever works.

Some babies just graze and it's really tough on you. If you feel that giving him some formula would help then try it...you have to do what you feel is right for you and your DC. Do you feel like he is getting a reasonable amount of milk at each feed? If so maybe try some other way to pacify him?

The first 3 months with 2 children are really hard but you will get through them and it will get easier.

Congratulations BTW

Don't feel under pressure. I spent the first 6 weeks nursing constantly round the clock and was always in tears just because I seemed to be in the same position. Sometimes I would envy dh for doing the supermarket shop or putting the bins out because I wanted to do it. Just to get away from nursing constantly. I wanted to give formula, but instead i started to express bm so that dh could feed dd a bottle to give me a break. But expressing isnt for everyone. Do what makes you happy. Please don't feel under pressure. I look back at those first few weeks resentfully because of how unhappy I was.

I have now breastfed successfully for 6 months. So it does get easier.