Stopping breastfeeding when going back to work...is there point/benefit continuing some feeds?

[YouMaySayImADreamer]

My DS is 4 months old and ebf. I am returning to work in a few months and it will not be practical/i do not want/it would be quite embarrassing for me to request somewhere to express during work hours, so i will be weaning him onto formula for during the day time. I want to ebf him for 6 months so after this i will be spending the month before i return to work, weaning him onto formula.

After initially finding bf quite physically and mentally demanding in terms of the intensity, i have really started to enjoy it and found that i am starting to reap the benefits of it being easy/cheap etc and i absolutely love the special bond that i feel it gives me with DS. Now that the 6 month mark is approaching i am feeling really sad about stopping and feel that i could easily carry on for longer. It feels such a shame to stop for work reasons, as i know that it would be amazing for him if i could continue until he was a year old. For this reason i was thinking of continuing morning and night feeds until he was a year old, as some sort of compromise.

However, there are some aspects of bf that i have never got to grips with...i am still not fully comfortable with bf in public which means that i can find it a bit isolating and inconvenient at times when i have to find somewhere to go and hide at feeding time. Also, i miss being able to drink more than a glass of wine on nights out/occasions (pumping is too much of a massive faff). I also kind of want my body back before my boobs become even more deflated. I have always set this things aside though because i want the absolute best for my baby. But, if i was going to continue with a morning and evening feed, id want to know that there was a point to me doing it from DS's pov in terms of health/well being. Or would only bf twice a day massively reduce the health benefits of bf to a year than if i was only giving breast milk all day?

Do most people continue with the morning and night feeds because it still offers big health benefits, or because they like the closeness it brings? If i am completely honest, it is the health benefits that will swing my decision as i think our bond is and will be pretty strong by 6 months, so this isnt something id overly worry about if i stopped completely. Thanks

You sound like me a few months ago, and I decided to carry on with morning and night feeds. I also struggled a lot with feeding at first and thought it would be a shame to stop, now we've finally cracked it.

I'm not an expert on the health benefits of breastfeeding, and I'm sure someone more clued-up will be along in a minute, but I just thought that continuing to bf after I returned to work was the best thing for me and DS. I don't know the full ins and outs of the health benefits, but my gut feeling was that any breastmilk was much better than none.

He's seven months old and I've been back at work full time for six weeks. I expressed for the first couple of weeks, in the office, but have now stopped as I hated doing it (faffy, inconvenient and difficult to fit around my job).

My supply has now adjusted and we feed at around 7am, when he goes to bed at 7pm and then at 11pm. Sometimes he has a feed in the night at 4am ish as well.

DS has taken really well to having formula in the daytime, there's been no problems there at all. My boobs have also shrunk a bit, perhaps because I'm feeding less, and I'm now my pre-preg size.
This current arrangement is great for us, and I hope to carry on until he's at least one.

You have the right to time and space to express at work, as well as suitable storage for ebm. If this is what is putting you off continuing, talk to your hr rep first.

As the last poster said you are legally entitled to somewhere to express/store your breast milk but if you have decided that's not for you then there are still definite benefits to partial breastfeeding. More info available here

Or depending where you work and who has your child during work you could have them bring the baby to work to be fed? That's what I'm doing at the moment, DD is almost 7 months and I'm doing the odd KIT day and DP brings her to me on my lunch break - better than any pump!

I don't know about the health benefits but would have thought some better than none? When I was weaning our DS I did the same and eventually just did morning and night time until 13 months - glad I did but equally happy when completely going onto formula.....go with your gut instinct and it will be the right decision for you both x

Hi all, thanks very much for your answers so far. Motherofdragons, its nice to hear someone this works for as this is the exact type of arrangement i was looking for. Thats exactly how i feel, now that i have got into the swing of bf, it feels a shame that its just in time to stop! Madame, thanks for the info, i will have a look.

Anything and Madame, i know that i am legally entitled to these things, but i work in a very male dominated environment and whilst i dont doubt that they would provide me with the space and time, i dont think everyone would be understanding and i have heard the sort of banter that goes around so i would find it embarrassing. Also, the practicalities of my job mean that it would be very difficult to find time. I often work through break and lunchtimes, not because im forced to, but because it is just the culture in my workplace. Oh and nevermind the fact that i hardly manage to get anything when i do try to express! Madame, i work quitefar from where i live and dont have anyone who could do this for me, but thanks for the suggestion

Hi op. I went back to work pt when dd was 3 mo and expressed, then stopped expressing when she was 8 mo and just do morning and evening feeds and at weekends often a midday one too - weirdly my boobs seem to be able to regulate for this. I will probably stop altogether when she's one but per my paediatrician there is still a benefit even if you're not feeding exclusively, plus I find it a nice bonding thing to do at the start and end of each day. I stopped expressing at work as it just started taking too long and I couldn't sit there for 2 hrs a day to get one feed.

The antibodies in milk produced by a mother of a one year old are much more concentrated than the antibodies produced by the mother of a one month old. The theory is that as the baby feeds less the good stuff becomes concentrated more so that they don't miss out. (I don't know exactly how it works!)

In practice this means that she will definitely get good stuff from you even if you only did one feed a day. Your supply can adjust to feeding once or twice a day, it can even adjust to feeding during the day at weekends and only in the evenings on weekdays - amazing stuff.

I can't help with the feeding in public, other than to say I did it until DS was about 18 months old and genuinely never had anybody comment or look at me funny. WRT to alcohol, you can definitely drink more than a glass of wine and breastfeed. You'd be in an alcoholic coma before your milk reached 1% alcohol :)

Heh, was going to say pretty much what Yoni said (including the bit about having to have the baby latched onto your unconscious form before you provided them with seriously alcoholic milk).

I fed DS1 morning, when I got home from work, and evening after I went back as well (I also expressed a feed for a while but stopped when he lost interest in the relevant bottle) and it worked well for us too - there's a definite health benefit to even some breastmilk, your body adjusts to the feeding times, and it's nice and snuggly. I actually didn't fully wean him til he was over 2...

I'm considering the same thing, tho DS is a little bit older (9 months) & I'm starting off part-time. I'd like to carry on till two, as I've heard so many mothers saying their baby could only keep down breastmilk during D&V so it would be good to feel I still had that to fall back on IYSWIM. When DS (and the rest of us) got a cold recently he fed lots more than usual for a few days - my supply seemed to adapt.

Also when I've done KIT days the big feed after getting home has been lovely. DS doesn't seem to drink a lot of expressed milk when I'm away for the day, he tends to hold out for me. Am looking forward to having that big cuddle & feed after work.

Every breast feed offers the baby additional benefits. By stopping at 6m you've already done way more than the majority of mums, but obviously there's more benefit still to be had if you keep going longer. Nature intended babies to receive breastmilk for years: 6m is a fairly arbitrary length of time.

As the months go on he'll naturally drop milk feeds anyway, as he eats more solids (by 12m DD was only on a morning and night feed), so you may well not have to pump as much as you think. I have a number of friends who pump at work (am in the US where people return to work after 12wks so pumping is much more common) and once you get into the routine it's not that difficult, plus it gives you some nice 20min breaks :)

I'm really not enjoying BF this time (with DC#2): finding it a faff, boring and a real bind. However I'm so utterly convinced of the health benefits that I would never be able to live with myself if I stopped. So I understand where you're coming from about it being a health choice rather than a bonding thing.

And don't worry about the alcohol. You can have more than one. My concern when drinking is whether I'm going to be sufficiently sober to look after him properly, rather than the alcohol content of my milk, so I stop immediate I feel that loss of physical control beginning (currently after about 2 small glasses!).

Thank you all for your replies and experiences, it has really helped me make my decision, im so glad i posted. For those who have given info on the health benefits of partial feeding thats fantastic, thank you, thats exactly the sort of info i was after. I think i will go ahead with thr morning and evening feeds.

rockerrock I'm sure you would find a way to live with yourself.

Having had cancer in my 20s, Amanda, I don't think I would: I'd always worry I hadn't given my children the best possible protection against something like that.

Just to say that it worked really well for me with both dds, both they and my supply adjusted really easily, returned to work at 9mths, didn't express, they got formula in the day if needed but it really only ended up being a tiny bit of a bottle to help them get to sleep at nap time. They were eating loads by then so got by on food and water. I fed them (still feeding 2yr old dd2) morning, night, weekends, holidays etc. you just have to be prepared to get your boobs out the instant you walk through the door from work
But seriously it was so easy and I am so glad I kept up the bf bond with them both. It is a handy calming tool too when the tantrums start!!

Ok.... well let's hope you never do have to stop bf but just in case, here's the number for the Samaritans: 08457 90 90 90.

Thanks Laura, thats really reassuring to hear, i will give it a go then. DS is teething at the moment and it seems to be the only thing that can calm him and comfort him when he's hysterical, so definately comes in handy!

Amanda, is there any need to be so cruel?

Wrt the op. As others have said, should be perfectly possible to reduce bf, replacing daytime feeds gradually with formula. Dc1 got most liquids from bf until starting nursery at 13 months. Then it was just a feed once we got in, a bedtime feed and one in the morning - until 2.5!

Signora I'm challenging the overly emotive language; I'm sure Rockerrock wouldn't actually kill herself if she had to formula feed so why use such an emotive phrase? It's a harsh indictment of anyone who has had to use formula. Her other advice was excellent I thought.

For heaven's sake Amanda, of course I didn't mean I'd actually kill myself: it's a figure of speech.

I wouldn't dream of indicting anyone who uses formula. I admit that I don't understand that decision, but I'm sure I make lots of decisions others wouldn't understand: we're all different.

And FWIW, I know that BF is not a cure-all for the world's woes. I was BF for 9m as a baby (obviously...) and developed cancer whilst BF my daughter (I had to stop in order to have surgery since the drugs would have crossed into my milk).

Amanda, saying "couldnt live with myself" is just a turn of phrase...think you're being a bit sensitive.

Some people feel so strongly/passionately and are so convinved about the health benefits of bf that they would not want to actively choose to 'deny' their babies of this, if bf was going technically well and they had the choice. It would play on their "conscience" in terms of their individual opinions and beliefs.

If someone has felt the same but has been unable to bf then they havent actively chosen not to, so clearly it is not their fault and they have nothing on their "conscience" in terms of their own beliefs/opinions.

If someone has actively chosen to ff, then presumably they do not feel as utterly convinced about the 'amazing health benefits' of bf or don't hold them in as high regard when making their decision. It is a matter of opinion/subjectiveness in this case and again this person would have nothing on their conscience in terms of their own personal beliefs/opinions.

I bf and if someone said they didnt see the point in bf because they didnt think the health benefits were that great in their experience (as is often said on these boards), it would annoy me because i have read the evidence differently, just as any strong difference in opinion annoys people in life. But i wouldnt say that it is offensive to me because it is just them stating their beliefs and opinions based on the way they have viewed the evidence. Why when it is said the other way round is it suddenly offensive?

Give me some examples of some other appropriate usages of the turn of phrase "I couldn't live with myself if..."

I expressed at work (went back at 2 weeks). However if you don't you can certainly just feed when you are around. Mine fed in the night too to a year old and regularly at the weekend and it all worked fine (including with twins).

Gosh - some odd stuff on this thread. Just wanted to say that you may find that your baby has other ideas about you stopping/reducing bfing :-(
I'm feeding morning and evening as DD2 (7 months)refuses to take milk from a bottle. We're getting a couple of ounces into her now via sippy cup though losing ten times that down her bib, but basically she's on milk strike until I get home in the evening. DD1 did the same thing but it wasn't an option for me to continue to bf so we had to try everything to get enough liquids into her to stop her becoming totally dehydrated.

If your DC will take a bottle, you may find that it is easier to move straight over to FF than to mix feed, or to express and bottlefeed depending on your timetable and how quickly you can get home in the evenings eg: do you have a dependency on public transport. No right or wrong answer in my world, just whatever works for you but I just wanted to point out that in my experience your kids will do their level best to ruin your best laid plans

Thanks xenia and oscar for sharing your experiences, its really useful to hear from people who have done it. I think i will give it a go continuing a morning and evening feed and see how we go. He does take well to the occasional bottle, so fingers crossed. However, just as an aside and picking up on what you said Oscar - when people refer to bottle refusing babies, is it generally the act of taking milk from a bottle that they object to, or the formula itself (or perhaps a combination of the two)? Thanks