Trying to keep breastfeeding a nearly 4 week old when husband has gone Awol againg

[CareerGirl01]

That's it really - have a 4 year old - people from pregnancy board might remember me. My four week old is crying when not sleeping or feeding - am breastfeeding her bar one bottle of FF at 10pm and even then she still wants to breastfeed afterwards.
I feel like I can't cope. My mum has DD1 this evening - feels like she is losing her mummy and daddy because of new baby.

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate, you poor thing. Where's your husband?

That all sounds really tough. It's good that your mum has offered you some help, is there anyone else you can call on?

Maybe a sling would help for your LO if you don't already have one.

Could you and baby go to mum's too? So that you can get help and dd can be involved? Sounds like you might need some handholding x

Hi HUn your doing a great job.

Firstly " How can I carry on feeding when my husband gone awol" Please do not give up hun it doesnt sound likeyour partner is much good i dont want u to not suceed because of him. Have you got a sling ? I have a 15 month old and an 8 week old, and when im runnign after my daughter i am feeding my son in the sling i love it! i have a moby wrap but any cheap sling will do!

secondy " when hes not feeding hes crying"- why do you think that might be? are you feeding on demand? he may be having a growth spurt. my son is 8 week old and i feed him eevery time he makes a sound lol andeveryone tells me how content he is. i can gage now whether he just wants a cuddle etc. but after checking nappy etc still not happy put him on even though he has just eaten because he ma have only been comort sucking n not getting a full feed .

I hope you keep on hun as it does get easier your doing an amazing job xx

Had a difficult night - did a formula top up but DD still wanted to BF. so I just fed her on demand as I've done the last four weeks. Am keeping going

Op these early days of bf are tough - babies tend to cluster feed a lot (an 11 hr feed springs to mind when dd was around that age!). You're still building your milk supply & the constant feeding helps to get that built.

If you can, just go with it. You need lots of fluids (water) & lots of snacks (cakes & choc). Your DM sounds like she's on the ball with support - keep accepting it! This time will pass & in another few weeks it will become so much easier, I promise.

You're doing brilliantly. I remember how tough it was (although admittedly I didn't have a 4 yr old too), but now I am so pleased I stuck with it as bf is so so easy now (dd is 8.5 mo).

Can you maybe have a few duvet & DVD days with dd1 where you can all do lots of snuggling on the sofa?

Good luck, you can do this!!

Btw, where has DH buggered off to?

Keep going. You're doing really well to have got this far. Breast feeding is so hard! I know, having breastfed my 3. My youngest is 7 weeks old. Have lots of snacks around and drink lots. I can't stop eating when feeding. I'm currently inhaling dairy milk, crisps and bananas.

Sorry, missed the bit about crying - dd was like that & I just resorted to carrying her about in a sling & it really settled her. 4 weeks is very tiny & it could be that she's suffering from a bit of reflux or colic (which will pass) & being close to you will calm & settle her. Some babies are more "clingy" than others (although I hate that phrase as it implies that there is something wrong with them). Just remember, 4 weeks ago your dd was snug inside your tummy, listening to your heartbeat & she still wants that comfort. If you can get a sling I bet you'll find if a lot easier. I can cook, go to the loo, clean, iron etc whilst dd is in mine

Hi,

I remember a post where a husband went AWOL, police involved etc? I'm sorry he has done this again.

Firstly, as I imagine this is easier said than done, put him from your mind, let him worry about himself, and you concentrate on your children nd looking after yourself so that you can look after them.

Congratulations on your new baby. My DD is 6 weeks old, and I am BF her. It has been really hard, and I have seriously considered stopping at least twice a week. I have spent hours reading these boards, which helped immensely, and I kept reading that BF gets better after 6 weeks, so I resolved to keep going through the tears. We are there now, and while still not perfect, each day really is a bit better then the last.

I was really struggling with position and latch, i had a few home visits from BF support workers - can you contact these if needed? They may try to get you to go to clinic/cafe, but say you can't and request a home visit. Another thing that helped was someone suggesting biological nurturing - which I had never heard of. I googled and watched videos, then tried this, it worked brilliantly. This gave me confidence to trust my baby to latch on, which helped a lot.

Finally, online shopping if family and friends cannot do this for you, food that is easy to prep/eat while feeding etc. Forget the housework, a load of washing a day is all I can manage at the moment.

Accept your mum's help, amd let others liaise with those necessary about finding your DH.

Finally, some and for you. You sound like you are coping brilliantly in a horrible situation, well done and keep going xx

Re: crying, my DD did this when custer feeding and on days when she fed and fed and fed during griwth spurts, which consisted of 12 hr stretchesof feeding. during those marathons it was hard, and the end seemed far away. But they did end, and understanding why they were necessary to ensure your spply matches demand, for growth etc helped.

I think if I remember your original posts, you aren't far from me. Is your area covered by by BAMBIS? They have been fantastic, and have even visited me at home. Call them on 0151 233 6874. If they don't cover "over the water" they will be able to point you in the right direction for some practical support.

Good luck, and remember you can post here as much as you like x

how are you today careergirl? hope you're feeling a bit brighter, and husband turns up soon. breastfeeding is often hard work in the early days, you're doing amazingly to keep going :)

Ah as you can all tell I'm night feeding now! Still using one FF at 10pm - DH is back - he was drinking but is trying to get help; I'm not hopeful he can cope with his demons - but thanks to this board and my local LLL am managing to BF - thd cluster feeding is fine early evening but because iced taken no naps during the day I'm too tired to do it all evening -at 9.30pm I gave in! But managing to BF the rest of the day - even at 1am!

Good for you OP. glad you can keep going - keep talking to us for support too.

As I said, these cluster feeds are quite common in the early weeks, but they will pass.

Glad unire getting RL help too.

ah careergirl, I have the sneaking suspicion that I 'know' you via LLL - if you just asked about slings on the local group page, I was the one who responded first.

do let me know if I can help at all, because if that is you, then you're just up the road from me.

xx

Hello Keva I am!