I try not to be a negative nancy about BF but in your case it might help :). I've EBF DD for almost 10 months now and honestly sometimes I think if people knew what they were getting in for they'd go straight to FF.
If you make it past the first few weeks without advice of top ups due to weight loss and the paranoia of supply, you might have shredded nipples, mastitis/blocked ducts to look forward to. Spraying milk everywhere and padding to stop leaks are par for the course.
Expect your food bill to double as you will never be satisfied.
After a while things settle down and you fancy a break so try expressing; hardly a drop can be squeezed out. If you're lucky and get some you might have a bottle refuser on your hands. You can then relieve yourself of about £50 trying all possible teats/bottles combinations only for them to be lined up gathering dust.
There goes your night out or break from 24 hr on call feeding.
If bambino decides to take a bottle, they may or may not drink formula and may also decide one day they don't like it again.
During this time you're either wearing BF clothes or easy/up down tops and can forget the new bras and your nice dresses for a while.
After another while you think you've done your stint and are ready to stop. Oh no, little one has other ideas and you can't just stop anyway without weeks of planning (see mastitis/blocked ducts).
Yes everyone will tell you BF babies *can sleep through the night and BF mums get more sleep. Do your own anecdotal feedback and I doubt you'll find the same. Maybe in the beginning yes but try 10 months of 24/7 on call and see who gets more sleep.
Then you have all the "you still feeding LO" comments to contend with.
Oh and there's biting. Yep, that hurts.
-
Yes it can be lovely and the benefits are well publicised but don't beat yourself up for a second, it's sometimes not all that.