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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Will I ever stop feeling guilty and sad for what we're missing out on by bottle feeding?

29 replies

LondonLancashireRose · 31/05/2013 21:20

DS (first baby) is 6 weeks old and has been bottle fed with formula and expressed breast milk since he was 4 weeks.

I so desperately wanted to breast feed but he lost a lot of weight after he was born and was re-admitted to hospital for a short while. They needed me to top him up after each feed with expressed breast milk so they could monitor how much he was eating. Unfortunately he really took to the bottles and started putting less and less effort in at the breast. We saw specialist midwives but nothing helped and eventually a LLL counsellor told me that it was unlikely he would ever breast feed properly now. I was killing myself expressing enough for every feed so we introduced formula for some so that I would actually have time to sleep, and also to enjoy him!

He is now gaining weight really well, and obviously that's the most important thing, but I just feel so sad that we're missing out on the closeness of him feeding from me. Plus, I'm SO pro-breastfeeding that I feel incredibly guilty that I'm not doing it. Every time I have to explain to a health visitor I want to cry. I'm also really nervous about going to places that are breastfeeding friendly incase I have to defend my use of a bottle.

Will I feel this sad, emotional and guilty forever? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you snap out of it? I'm sitting here cuddling my perfect baby and just feel like I've failed him Sad

OP posts:
WouldBeHarrietVane · 02/06/2013 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoWayPedro · 03/06/2013 16:20

I try not to be a negative nancy about BF but in your case it might help :). I've EBF DD for almost 10 months now and honestly sometimes I think if people knew what they were getting in for they'd go straight to FF.

If you make it past the first few weeks without advice of top ups due to weight loss and the paranoia of supply, you might have shredded nipples, mastitis/blocked ducts to look forward to. Spraying milk everywhere and padding to stop leaks are par for the course.

Expect your food bill to double as you will never be satisfied.

After a while things settle down and you fancy a break so try expressing; hardly a drop can be squeezed out. If you're lucky and get some you might have a bottle refuser on your hands. You can then relieve yourself of about £50 trying all possible teats/bottles combinations only for them to be lined up gathering dust.

There goes your night out or break from 24 hr on call feeding.

If bambino decides to take a bottle, they may or may not drink formula and may also decide one day they don't like it again.

During this time you're either wearing BF clothes or easy/up down tops and can forget the new bras and your nice dresses for a while.

After another while you think you've done your stint and are ready to stop. Oh no, little one has other ideas and you can't just stop anyway without weeks of planning (see mastitis/blocked ducts).

Yes everyone will tell you BF babies *can sleep through the night and BF mums get more sleep. Do your own anecdotal feedback and I doubt you'll find the same. Maybe in the beginning yes but try 10 months of 24/7 on call and see who gets more sleep.

Then you have all the "you still feeding LO" comments to contend with.

Oh and there's biting. Yep, that hurts.

-

Yes it can be lovely and the benefits are well publicised but don't beat yourself up for a second, it's sometimes not all that.

tiktok · 03/06/2013 18:15

Pedro, I think you're gonna try a bit harder not to be negative....whatever you're doing now, ain't working.

Hmm and :)

NoWayPedro · 03/06/2013 20:24

tbh, yes it's been a tough day and my post is perhaps not the done thing on the feeding boards but I don't think anything I've said is untrue.

I was pretty naive about BF. for any newbies out there my advice would be absolutely give it a go; when it works its great but if it doesn't don't worry. For those thinking about it, read up as much as possible as it is quite a 'commitment' (strange to say that about something so natural).

OP - amazing on the expressing btw, don't think I have the stamina for that :)

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