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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

How do you cope with lack of freedom when bf?

10 replies

haloflo · 30/05/2013 16:48

I am currently breastfeeding my 3mo DD. I breastfed her older sister (currently 2.2) til 16 months. I think I want to quit feeding DD2 myself sometime between 6 & 9 months. I don't want to worry about DD2 at work or miss out on the after work Christmas drinks because I have to rush home to feed my older baby. And honestly after being pg or bf for 3 years im keen to let my hair down on occasion. Then the guilt kicks in. Its good for her, its free, what if there are loads of tears. What to do? :-(

OP posts:
Indith · 30/05/2013 16:53

bf is great. but it is only great when it is working for you and for your baby so if you don't want to do it then congratulate yourself on a great few months and move on. or you can introduce either expressed or formula and mix feed. if baby is going to be having a cup or bottle of something while you are at work chances are it will be ok at bedtime too and you can stay out anyway.

nancerama · 30/05/2013 16:53

When it all gets a bit much for me with my bottle refusing little one, I think of it as a percentage of my life rather than months or years. I tell myself that I will live to be 100 (I bloody hope not, but it makes my maths easier), then I just tell myself that I'm giving up 1/2/3% of my nights out. Just play it by ear and deal with it when it arises.

EauRouge · 30/05/2013 17:36

It seems like it'll go on forever at the time but I do similar to nancerama and remind myself that really, it's such a short fraction of my life and it's for such a good reason.

How about inviting your friends over if you feel left out of the social loop? Or go out for lunch instead of dinner so she won't be going through that fussy evening thing that babies do.

If you feel like you want to carry on, then see if there's a way to work around getting some time to yourself. If it's still not working for you then maybe think about mixed feeding or weaning (it doesn't have to be tearful!).

Having a 3mo and a 2yo is bloody hard work, and it's so difficult to get any time alone. But it gets easier once they start interacting with each other and playing together.

Midori1999 · 31/05/2013 11:23

Other than the first few months (when I really didn't want to leave my DD anyway) I have never felt a loss of freedom while breastfeeding, although at times I don't deny I've been flipping fed up with it...

I made sure from quite young that my DH was able to comfort DD and get her to bed if I wanted/needed him to and I made sure DD took bottles, although she did refuse for a while as I didn't give her bottles as I wanted to keep what I expressed as a 'freezer stash'. I had my first proper night out whens he was 5 months old and just made sure I had enough expressed milk to last until at least lunchtime the next day. When DD was young if I'd had a few drinks the night before, I did have to avoid her seeing me, as she would want to feed if she saw me, but that just meant lazy mornings in bed with DH bringing me coffee and breakfast.

Now DD is 23 months and as I am pregnant and my milk has dried up for now, she only nurses to sleep at night mostly, although she'll have the odd little nurse if she's tired or has hurt herself during the day, but I can't remember the last time I ever felt like I had to be back home for DD, it was eons ago.

Dannilion · 31/05/2013 13:57

I went against the guidelines and have given DD a bottle of EBM a day since she was 5 days old to ensure she didn't become a 'bottle refuser'. Whilst I haven't gone for a full night out yes because I'm so fat I don't fit into any of my naice clothes it has enabled me to go to the gym, hairdressers, stare at a wall in the dark alone and leave DD with DH or DM. I'm the kind of person who needs some personal space frequently so to me it was worth the faff of pumping and sterilising etc. I'm very lucky in the respect that we never struggled with nipple confusion or comfort sucking.

Smartiepants79 · 31/05/2013 17:54

I have done the same as dannilion and it works quite well. It's still quite tying in the day but I can go out for the evening. Off out tonight actually!
If you are ready to stop then stop, you've done the most important months.
But if you fancy carrying on then mixed feeding might be the answer.

harverina · 31/05/2013 18:03

I didn't feel a loss of freedom - I had a weekend away with my friends when dd was 9 months and fairly regular nights out with friends/family.

I fed dd until she was 2.5 and she didn't have any formula in that time - I expressed for nights out and for my weekend away (59 oz!!).

The only issue is that, unless you have a good frozen supply in the freezer you can't really go out lasting the or spontaneously.

harverina · 31/05/2013 18:05

I should add that dd would have drink expressed milk from anything! She had her first bottle at 6 weeks as we were going to a wedding and I couldn't find a decent dress to feed in so had to give bottles a go for the church as couldn't whip dress off Wink

Original poster
haloflo · 01/06/2013 14:38

I am rubbish at finding time to express so think I may go down the mixed feed route. I wonder if I could sustain a morning feed and evening feed some days and other days just a morning feed. I am clearly hoping for no night feeds but know its not that easy!

I never wanted to leave Dd1s side but although I love DD2 I don't quite feel so possessive of her and would love a day or night away.

Thanks all for your thoughts.

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 02/06/2013 16:57

I morning and evening fed my DD for months. Then just evenings for a while. Never had an impact on supply.

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