I agree with you Horry. It is tricky isn't it. I'd never actually read the formula prep guidelines before this thread because I didn't need to - I always primarily breastfed (still do) and so cartons were a bit of a no-brainer based on cost etc. Nothing to research, no complicated steps to make it happen, no careful measurement or double checking. I know I would struggle with this, as it is it took me a long time to be able to actually use the steriliser because I was so bloody afraid of doing it wrong, dh had the honour (and I am lucky I had that option, as I know all too well). It seems quite lengthy and very tricky to pull off in practice.
It is, from my point of view, about balance. I remember really well what it was like to be that emotionally vulnerable woman. Breastfeeding didn't just click for me, not even second time round... it was very, very stressful and it took a lot of work (and I mean therapy as well as breastfeeding intervention) to get to a point where I wasn't completely exercised by anything that suggested that what I had been told/was doing/believed was wrong. The contradictions were immense. Every single health professional gave a different point of advice and these boards (and others like them) were actually extremely difficult.
Like all mothers, I was desperate to do the "right thing" and I know that there are thousands if not hundreds of thousands of women who feel bewildered, confused and upset by health professionals, forums, other women in playgroup, relatives etc who all seem to be saying a different thing which is The Absolute Truth. I remember sitting by the laptop crying my eyes out having realised I had damaged my baby's "virgin gut"
and it was because I clearly hadn't tried hard enough. The Alpha Parent who is wickedly dismissive of women who use formula strangely describes a similar situation and it always makes me wonder why discussions need to become heated. It's hard to be objective, it's true.. but is it important to always be right? That is a slightly different question.
I am all for research and I would wish for all infants to have the best possible start in terms of their nutrition. However, the wide ranging impact on women for whom breastfeeding does not come easy either because of physical or cultural reasons or just plainly being advised poorly (or with too many contraditions by too many people) is important.
It's all too common to see sneering about the "happy mummy, happy baby brigade" but I share DW Winnicott's opinion that "there is no such thing as a baby" - that mother and baby are inextricably connected in the first year after birth and their welfare impacts upon one another. Again, I am not advocating that huge risks should be taken... but I also think there is very limited need to suggest that any slight deviation from the "official guidance" is going to be extremely dangerous. From my point of view, it's a cost-benefit sort of thing. The listeriosis advice in pregnancy doesn't really have the same sort of quality of life impact on women and their children as the idea that formula contains dangerous contaminants which might at any moment steal their precious infant from them may. It's also very easy to follow while the at-the-point-of-feeding pasteurisation patently isn't that easy all the time for the reasons you mention.
If PND, OCD and associated mental distress were rare and unusual in the postnatal period, I would take a different view. They are sadly not. PND represents one of the gravest threats to women's health in this period of their lives and by extension to their children. Women will always share information with eachother about how to raise their children and that's fine. However, the pseudo-scientific hand wringing about the necessity of getting it Absolutely Right At All Costs is pretty heavily implicated in maternal mental distress.
I'll be honest. I have limited qualifications either by virtue of profession or personal experience to advise anybody on breastfeeding. I pretty much suck at it. It took 20 weeks into my second outing with my boobs to realise my darling boy was wasting away in front of me: I thought it was going okay. The panic that ensued was, well, extremely tough at the time, especially as it was laid on top of generalised panic.
I am pretty much alright at reading health research though, because I do have training in this area. Yet it was this that ended up contributing most heavily to the development of OCD as my natural, normal fears about becoming a new mother and fearing I wouldn't measure up became something pathological - the issue wasn't that I was worried (all new mothers are), the issue was that I thought this worry meant that something was wrong and that I had to Do Something About It. The issue was that what I thought I Had to Do was research every possible decision about infant feeding excessively. I spent hours and hours reading research which is kind of why I can partake in these sorts of discussions. Now I'm fairly rational about it because I am no longer living under the cloud wherein my ability to read research was, in my mind, directly related to my ability to keep my baby alive. I just don't buy into it.. but I know many others may do and I have some feeling for the desperation this can invoke.
I learned through therapy that trying to apply this objective and scientific approach to working out what was Absolutely Right in terms of infant feeding brought about the distress that took over my life great cost to myself and my family. I had six months of having CBT weekly with the therapist kindly and repeatedly saying: but you can't problem solve something hypothetical, there will always be risk, there will always be anxiety, making the right choice won't protect your baby, there will always be a leap of faith, it's okay to make mistakes, you're highly unlikely to kill your baby because you didn't know the most up to date research on [insert risk factor here].
I consider I have been very lucky indeed that I had the benefit of timely intervention. Very, very few women access the level of support I did... yet as one mental health worker said to me, she was AMAZED when she became a mother herself and realised the women she medicated were matched in their droves by apparently "well" women who were tearing eachother apart over minor points on how to do it all right and suffering hugely as a result of their participation in these narrow verbal communities where "facts" are bandied about as evidence of doing it right/getting it wrong.
I think actually most women (especially first-timers) are "a bit postnatal" and it is only what you come across during this period of time and how seriously you take it that keeps it at a "typical" level or pushes it over into what we term mental illness.
Ultimately we are all connected in this small universe of ours and I like the acronym "think" for internet posts: is it true, is it helpful, is it inspirational, is it necessary and is it kind. Motherhood is not a scientific profession and we can all only do our best. Our best might not always include following every bit of government guidance exactly but this is not the same as being irresponsible or needing to feel crippling guilt.