I'm not sure if this is crazy, please bear with me- I'm desperate!
DS1 is five weeks - I started BF and managed to do this for around 11days. I really struggled and ended up hating it, which I felt very guilty about. DP went out and purchased formula and bottles. From then on I mixed fed formula and expressed breast milk. At the time I was extremely overwhelmed at becoming a first time mother and didn't know what the hell I was doing. I felt very out of control with the BF and I was worried that I was becoming depressed. (Have a history of depression) At the time this is what I needed, in order to stop me spiralling into a black hole. I'm bitterly starting to regret it.
Since then I expressed a few times a day (not as much as I should have, I know) and it worked well. DS1 was fed pretty much 60:40 FF to BM.
Over the last week, DS developed reflux and it was hell- meaning I hardly expressed at all, and he was 100% formula fed. He is on medication and everything
had settled down again
.
What I want to know is, can I go back to exclusively
breastfeeding again? I feel so much calmer than I did when I decided to give up BF, and I really really miss it. I really want that special bond with my DS. I have purchased Fenugreek and plan to take 3 capsules x 3 times a day. My boobs do still leak occasionally but they are not feeling engorged or full
Can it be done? What do I need to do in order to make this a success? Thank you for listening, I really need your advice/ handholding.