anyone else have a baby that refuses the breast completely?

[bananailana]

I had a forceps delivery after 2 hours of pushing, baby needed a bit of stimulation to breathe but nothing dramatic. Not much skin to skin at birth but in recovery I had a lovely maternity care assistant trying to latch him frequently and helping me express colostrum. However he has never latched! Now 13 days old and happy enough on expressed milk in bottles but I don't know how long I can continue that with not knowing if he will ever actually breast feed... doing lots of skin to skin, trying to give him only positive experiences of the breast (selecting best time to offer and not trying too long) but he just doesn't know he is supposed to suck. Have been to so many clinics and baby cafes, no-one can latch him and they just say keep trying (but not too much or he will get negative association!)

Anyone else out there with similar stories? And particularly how long did it take for them to catch on and was it anything you did or just them suddenly getting it?

DD2 is a boob hater!
I had a great pregnancy & trouble free birth, but from day one she couldn't really latch.
She has a small tongue, but no tongue tie.
I tried for 4 days & thought I was getting somewhere when my milk came through, then she got thrush & wouldn't even have it near her mouth. I expressed for 2 days & got the grand total of 4oz.
She then developed quite bad reflux & is now on a Pepti formula & Omeprezole.
I tried to keep up the bf but she really wasn't having any of it despite great support from my MW & a BF councillor. Not to mention DH & my friends.
She's 11 weeks now & I try to give her 2 bf a day.
It was all very stressful & all I could really do was just relax & enjoy her which ever way she decided to feed.
Good luck .

Sounds hard op :(

You mention a lactation consultant commenting on his small, square tongue. Did she rule out posterior tongue tie and not just anterior?

I had two babies, and neither would latch on, so I had to FF. :(

I had never heard of tongue tie, but both are now teenagers, and they can't poke their tongues out properly, so I think they must have had them.

Thank you everyone for the support! Even though I know it rationally it's nice to have people say that I'm doing the right thing and it's not my fault! We're taking the approach someone mentioned - had a break to try and reduce the aversion, now trying only when calm and with shields. Getting some cranial osteopathy next week just in case and giving the whole thing till 4-6 weeks to decide what to do. He may be making some baby steps in the right direction, we'll see...

Hello, just wanted to add my story.

My dd had a normal birth. I had skin to skin immediately after and expected her to find my nipple immediately and we'd feed, bathed in golden light blah blah. Week that didn't happen. Not only did she not latch, but she didn't even attempt to find my nipple. Occasionally she would head butt it or lick it, but she didn't even nearly latch. I saw countless bf specialists all of whom gave the usual advice, skin to skin etc. They tried to latch her, but they couldn't and just observed that it was odd (very bloody helpful).

On day 2 I began expressing colostrum and on day 4 my milk came in. I continued to expires and bottle feed her the expressed milk. I kept trying to get her to latch and this made me very distressed. I didn't think I would be able to keep up the expressing routine, but just had the attitude that even just one more day was doing her loads of good.

After 4 weeks, for no real reason, I tried a nipple shield. She latched for about 10 seconds! Not much, but it was the best we'd had. I kept up and gradually increased so that one feed a day was fully directly on the boob (with nipple shield). I kept increasing until by the time she was about 10 weeks old I was exclusively breastfeeding directly from me. She's now 24 weeks and I'm still going strong. I usually still use the shields, but occasionally if the conditions are nice and calm etc, she will latch without them. She still isn't a great feeder because she is betty easily distracted, but she's gaining weight perfectly. It's been a hard journey.

I know most bf consultants would tell you to avoid nipple shields, but for me it was a choice between using the shields and stopping breastfeeding.

I really feel for you, it would be so much easier if it was a crap latch because at least there's something to work on! No one seems to know what to do when they just won't latch at all.

Well done you for trying. If you can find a way to make it work, then keep going. If you need to move to formula for your own sanity, that is fine. It's not because you're a failure and your baby will still thrive on formula.

Hey Zara! Just noticed you already mentioned me! We're like 2 cheerleaders people in this situation.

How are you going OP?

We're getting few minute runs in the breast with nipple shields, which he seems happy about, although sometimes still gets too angry to do anything. I'm trying him a few times a day when he seems calm. We're getting cranial osteopathy today just in case. So there is tiny bit of progress but not sure if it will go anywhere...

Hope the CO session goes well!

That's definitely progress if he's accepting a few feeds with the shield! :)

You're doing great, I have massive respect for you getting this far!

Just to update in case mums in the same position are reading this on the future... I didn't make progress with the nipple shields as for some reason baby started getting really angry and frustrated with them so he wouldn't stay sucking. I continued expressing without trying him on the breast much. Then for the last week there was a change in his sucking behaviour -he started to want to suckle at bedtime and would suck the dummy for ages when getting to sleep, whereas before he wasn't interested in the dummy. At 6 weeks old I tried him on breast without shields after an expressing session when he was calm but slightly hungry and he started to suck! Maybe it was all the conditions being perfect (particularly giant nipple because of expressing) or maybe his reflex matured. But it hurt like hell so I'm going to do it with a breastfeeding support worker next time to check latch. Don't know if this is a breakthrough or will go the same way as the nipple shields but it does prove that a baby can go 6 weeks without knowing how to suck on a breast and then work it out, which is encouraging for anyone else in the same position...

Thanks banana for the update. I'm trapped in the express/bottle cycle as my DD was born early & tube/bottle fed in scbu due to severe jaundice. She won't take from me, despite nipple shields & lots of support from the hospital & midwives. I'm giving it another week then reassessing whether I continue, as I'm feeling trapped, resentful & not making any progress.

It sounds like you've invested a lot to BF & I'm glad it's paying off - well done!!!! Xx

Good luck cheese! I haven't had any more successful attempts since that one 2 weeks ago unfortunately but I'm going to keep trying when the conditions are right. I am now trying to only express 4 times a day but do 2 bottles worth each time. This will allow me to be less chained to the house! However not sure if my milk supply will cope with this, or if it is sustainable as his intake goes up...

Bananaliana.. Well done! My boy also turned a corner at 6 weeks. Again I think it is linked to maturity. He now feeds with no nipple shield, both sides and although not always the best latch he feeds! And is thriving.