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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Stopping breastfeeding

14 replies

Cl · 06/12/2001 11:21

I think there's so much written on starting breastfeeding and so little help on stopping it! I know many people say their child just lost interest but what do you do if yours didn't? I'm writing this for a computerless friend, mother of twins and still feeding twice a day (pre nap and pre sleep) after almost 18 months - desperate to stop, but doesn't want/can't cope with sleepless nights. Got to the point now though that she says if she had another she may not even start b/f because she's found trying to stop so traumatic - but she's so run down. I've told her my theories/ techniques (see earlier posting) but wondered if anyone else had any encouraging words/techniques that worked for them. Ta
PS Lke mine - they never took to a bottle, but will take a cup - just not as comforting though is it?

OP posts:

SueDonim · 06/12/2001 13:29

Cl, your friend could talk to an NCT breastfeeding counsellor, as they can help with stopping feeding. They're on 0870 444 8708 between 8am and 10pm. HTH.

Eulalia · 06/12/2001 20:07

Cl - sorry but what has the sleepless nights got to do with breastfeeding? Or being run down for that matter. I can appreciate she may be fed up of it but you can't blame EVERYTHING on breastfeeding. Twice a day is really not a lot and she may find she ends up with more trouble by not doing it as she'd only have to replace it with something else. I have finally managed to get my son done to once or twice a day (28 months!) and this I feel is manageable.

However I appreciate two children is obviously more of a struggle and 18 months is a long time. I know I got fed up about this stage.

As I've not stopped yet I can't offer any advice from experience but I do know that distraction works fairly well. Also a holiday is a good time to stop as child learns that breastfeeding can be related to a particular time and place. Perhaps Dad can help with bedtime. The more often they get used to receiving alternative comfort the less often they will ask for a 'feed'. Try La Leche League for advice on stopping.

My son became an irritating 'twiddler' (with the other breast) and it nearly drove me mad. Finally I solved it by feeding him lying down (so I was actually lying on top of the other breast) and so he forgot about the other breast. You can usually find your way round a problem with breastfeeding and it is often things like this that drive you to stop in despair.

On a positive note there is nothing that can replace it - particularly if your child is ill. (Just imagine the screaming you'd have instead.) Our son had a hernia op at 16 months and they took him out of theatre crying very loudly. I put him straight to the breast and he lay there for an hour till he recovered with barely a peep out of him.

jasper · 06/12/2001 22:56

Cl I could not agree more! I think there is a faction amongst the probreastfeeding brigade that seem so delighted if a woman chooses to bf her baby that there really is very little encouragement and help on how to stop! I am not surprised your friend feels worn out. It makes me mad when some pro bf people minimise the very real downsides of breastfeeding. We all know all the good stuff. In fact I used to frequent a bf board when if this very question was ever raised, there would be a flood of responses not to help with ceasing bf but to exhort the mother to keep going! One regular poster would say stuff like " it is for the benefit of the baby, not for the mother, don't be so selfish" Grrrr! And a very common response would be " you will feel tired and worn out even if you are not breastfeeding". How unhelpful is that?
Cl I can only second the advice you gave. Many of the changes in routine we decide to opt for for our kids are a bit traumatic but probably more for the parents than the children!

SueW · 07/12/2001 00:16

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

Enid · 07/12/2001 09:55

Cl, not surprised your poor friend is run down. Breastfeeding is brilliant, I really enjoyed feeding my daughter but there is no doubt in my mind that it really tired me out. As for twins, for 18 months - wow. She's done a brilliant job, and she should start to stop now if thats how she feels. I would wean them straight to a cup, definitely at this age, with plenty of cuddles at other times of the day to make up for any comfort lost.

Also tell your friend to look after herself, eat properly and take plenty of B vitamins to minimise the stress on her, mentally and physically. HTH!

Ems · 07/12/2001 10:02

Cl, suggest she gets a new cup, mine liked the Heinz baby basics one with soft spout and handles.

Get the Dad to put them to bed with cup of milk and story and Mum keep well out of the way, thats how I started to drop it. Then at tea time after they'd had afternoon sleep we had cup of milk, my cup of tea and 2 little biscuits, made it a fun event for a while to keep mind off of boob!

Natt · 07/12/2001 11:40

Does anybody know how best to deal with the other side of the problem - ie stopping supply? I have to go out of town for work sometimes which means the occasional night away from my thirteen-month-old . I try to express minimal amounts in the hope things will start to dry up but find I just end up very uncomfortable and baby just has beanfeast when I get back! I'd really really like to stop breastfeeding now....

LisaV · 07/12/2001 14:16

Natt, have you Gina Ford's book? I followed her advice for stopping breastfeeding at it worked a treat. Basically what you do is cut down your feeds very gradually, so that you start with one feed and give your baby half your milk and half formula, do this for a week and then stop that feed altogether and see how that goes for a week, then do the same with another feed. So you are dropping 1/2 a feed a week. It's slow progress but I didn't get engorged at all and after about 6 weeks I was free from breastfeeding - yippee!

Eulalia · 08/12/2001 18:17

Breastfeeding per se doesn't physically drain you. The amount of milk a toddler (or two) takes is minimal and your body can easily produce it. Psychologically speaking this is a different matter as older babies tend to wriggle and pull and poke so much. But then again they do whether you breastfeed or not.

Saying "it is good for the baby, not the mother" is misleading. It is actually good for BOTH of them. Breastfeeding reduces the chance of breast and ovarian cancer and in societies where women do it for longer cancer rates are lower (all other things considered of course).

It is not strictly necessary to replace milk drinks for older babies/toddlers. If the child has a balanced diet then they should be getting enough nutrition from their food. Too much milk can spoil their appetite for solid foods.

Bugsy · 11/12/2001 10:05

Natt, when I was trying to stop I found that a number of things helped. I was expressing anyway, so very slowly I just cut down the amount of milk I expressed. I also took pure peppermint oil capsules and wore a tight sports bra over the top of my nursing bra to try and alieviate some of the discomfort. It took me about 3 weeks to dry up completely.
Good luck.

dm2 · 16/01/2002 17:27

Anyone know how much formula/expressed milk should I expect my 6 month old ds to need during the day? I have to stop breastfeeding as I am returning to work. (I can still give him a morning/evening feed).
I've spent today with a screaming distraught babe as from breakfast onwards I've only offered him bottles/beaker/cup of either expressed milk or formula. He's refused all milk drinks. He has 3 'solid' meals a day and I managed to get quite a lot of milk into these (in cereal, mash potato etc.) and he eats a lot of yogurt and cheese.
Just wondering if, if he continues to refuse milk drinks, I'll be okay sticking it in his food, and if so, how much I need to put in. Any ideas?

Pupuce · 16/01/2002 19:23

Is he refusing the milk or do you think he is mainly refusing the bottle ?
DD - 5 mo - was refusing the bottle 2 weeks ago and 2 days before she started nursery DH and I decided to tackle the problem (sort of speak). We gave her a bottle of expressed milk first thing in the morning.... as we knew sh'd be keen ! He did work but she cried for about 3 minutes, refusing to take it but gave in and has been good ever since.
As for quantities - it varies DS took full 8 oz bottles, DD is taking 6oz maximum.
On average a child of 6 months should have 600 ml a day that's 20 oz. You can probably assume that he is having 14 to 16 oz with his morning and evening feeds. So you don't need to give him tons more, it depends on how keen he is. You can also give him yogourt instead.

Lizzer · 16/01/2002 19:32

Dm2, I don't knom the 'recommended' amount of milk ('a pint of' rings a bell, but I might have invented that!) But just to let you know that at around six months dd dropped her b/feeds right down to about 4 a day of her own accord, 1 last thing at night, 1 middle of night/early morning, 1 breakfast and 1 mid-afternoon. She was, at the time, a very good eater and I when giving her packet cereals I used a bit of formula to mix, plus yoghurts etc... But she never had formula as a drink (have you tried it? Urgh!) So in comparison to your situation - you could give early morning/ morning / last thing at night and possibly feed him straight from work (am asuming you're working 9-5 hours here, sorry if you're not). I have a very healthy 2 yr old to prove that its done her no harm, in fact she didn't drink milk from a cup til well after I stopped b/feeding at 12 months (by which time she was down to only one feed a day) But my HV told me just to keep on giving her loads of yoghurts and milky cereals and she would be fine, which she is. IMO I think you'll be fine to keep on with the b/feeds you can and just add milk to food, its not worth the hassle of trying to force him into drinking something he so obviously doesn't want...
good luck

dm2 · 16/01/2002 23:30

Thanks Pupuce and Lizzer - you've put my mind at rest. I can't get to see the HV till next week and I didn't want to back down and give him a bf once I started.
He's a boobaholic - he knows how to use a bottle and if he's sleepy enough he'll glug down formula but if there's any energy left he'll protest and refuse. (He loves his beaker for drinks of water though!)
Lizzer - I'll be working a full day plus a couple of hours commuting (only 3 days a week though, hurrah), so I'll just have to give him as many bf as I can fit in - hopefully not too many in the middle of the night! Maybe, if someone else gave him a bottle whilst I was at work he would take it.
He's a veggie baby so he has plenty of cheese and yoghurt, and he has milky cereal for brekkie.

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