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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Please give me a kick up the arse.....

11 replies

AlfieBear87 · 18/03/2013 21:53

I bf DS1 for 7.5 months - he latched on straight away, no problems apart from the initial couple of weeks of bruised/painful (but never cracked) nipples. He didn't sleep well at all until he was about 7 months (when he started crawling) and I used to feed him to get him back to sleep each time. Obviously due to bf I was the one doing all the night wakings and was absolutely knackered for most of the first 7 months of his life.

My good friend has a DS who is a few months older than my DS1. She ff from day 1, her DS slept through really early on and any night wakings he did have she shared 50/50 with her DH. She has never experienced the extreme sleep deprivation that many parents face.

Fast forward to now - we are both expecting our second children. My friend has already decided she is not even going to attempt bf this time as ff worked so well for her last time. That's fair enough, it's her choice, but she keeps questioning why I want to bf again this time when I had such a difficult 7 months with DS1.

Am I mad to want to bf again? I'm not even sure I particularly want to apart from the fact we're fairly skint and ff costs so much. I was lucky enough to find bf easy but never particularly enjoyed it per se. All I can focus on from last time is the engorgement, the sore nipples, the sleepless nights, the not being able to share feedings with DH and the tiredness that bf seemed to cause.

Please help me to remember the good bits about bf!! I know it's best for the baby but I keep comparing my experience with my friends and I'm wondering if bf is really worth it?

OP posts:
Welovegrapes · 18/03/2013 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YippeeTeenager · 18/03/2013 22:02

Just because your DS1 didn't sleep doesn't mean your new baby won't. I have to admit I enjoyed the whole bf thing but I know it's not for everyone. Couldn't you start of bf and just see how you get on? You don't have to sign a pledge now to see it through but just start off and see what happens, knowing that you can switch if it's really not working. And to be honest,I think it's a bit strange that your friend keeps questioning you about it, it sounds to me like she feels guilty that bf didn't work out for her and doesn't want you to show her up again! I'm not saying she should feel guilty, but the whole ff vs bf thing makes even sane people act very strangely sometimes Confused

leedy · 18/03/2013 22:52

Definitely not mad, and definitely no harm in giving it a try, as YT says you can switch if it's really making you unhappy.

Also, seconding/thirding that you might get a much better sleeper this time round. DS2 and DS1 both are/were EBF, DS2 is (so far, touch wood) a much better night time sleeper. Nothing to do with anything I'm doing, just seems to be his temperament.

Angielka · 19/03/2013 01:27

Just want to add to all the great tips above as your rl friend doesn't seem to be being very supportive!

As well as all the health benefits for you and the baby, you may feel differently about bf this time round. You were lucky to avoid any bf problems last time but maybe next time will be more enjoyable, especially if this baby is a better sleeper. Like the others have said, the food they get isn't all that affects their sleeping - in general the first few weeks are tough but there are plenty of things DH can do (changing/burping etc) in the night even if you are doing all the feeding. You don't have to commit to 7 months on day one anyway - keep your options open and take it one feed at a time.

Good luck!

AlfieBear87 · 19/03/2013 07:20

Thank you all for your advice, of course you are right - I don't have to decide on day 1.

Fingers crossed I get a better sleeper and find the whole bf experience more enjoyable this time :) I will definitely give it a go though.

Thanks again for the kick up the butt, I feel much better about it now!

OP posts:
Welovegrapes · 19/03/2013 07:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noblegiraffe · 19/03/2013 07:35

I had a terrible sleeper first time around and found it very tiring being responsible for all feeds, especially as he fed at least every two hours for the first 7 months.

I've now got an 8 week old and am bfing again. I admit I was dreading not the bfing itself, but the relentlessness of it all. So far (touch wood) it has been much easier. DD is a better sleeper, and has done a few 5 hour stretches at night already, followed by another longish stretch. I'm actually feeling pretty good and would probably be one of those mums that I looked at enviously first time around.

So there's hope!

AlfieBear87 · 19/03/2013 07:47

noble you've summed up how I feel really well - it's the relentlessness of it all that I'm not looking forward to. But you've given me hope that it can be better this time around! DS1 will only be 16 months when this one is born, so everything is going to be pretty different this time around anyway!

OP posts:
MrsHoarder · 19/03/2013 07:51

Ds is ebf (still bf at 10 months) and only woke up once a night from very early and started sleeping through at 7 Weeks. Its luck, not milk type that makes them sleep well, so unless your dh will do half the night wakings (whilst working in the day?) There is no sleep benefit to you for ff

gentlemantobed · 19/03/2013 08:44

I managed to ebf DS1 until 4 months then added in 1 bottle formula and kept this up til he was 10 months. The formula was added in desperation as ds1 was such a dreadful sleeper - at the 4 month sleep regression we hit an all time low of waking every 45 mins all night ...
He is now 2.5 and (touch wood) is a fantastic sleeper - though is partial to an early start!
Despite it all being so tough the first time round I am currently ebf ds2 now 9wk. He is waking more at this age than ds1 did... However I'm coping so much better with it than i ever imagined - I guess because this time I know if/when I choose to add formula it won't be the end of the world and also because there is light at the end of the tunnel- with ds1 I just couldn't see it!
As there are no crystal balls to predict your babies sleep habit I vote a stab at breastfeeding so you'll never wonder 'what if'...

gentlemantobed · 19/03/2013 08:46

P.s the formula I added at 4 months didn't help sleep one bit but physically gave me a much needed break and as a family it felt right to keep it up

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