Engorged yet worried about supply

[Skillbo]

I recently separated from my husband so we agreed to do alternate weekends. DS is 14 months and still enjoys bf so when he is away for more than 1 night, i get terribly engorged. I can't seem to express (have tried pumps and.hand expressing) but no real luck.

Aside from the discomfort, i worry i am messing with my supply and wondered if anyone had any advice. When DS comes home, he's right back on it but it just feels we spend the next 2 weeks building it back up only for him to go away and I'm back in engorgement hell again!

Saw this last night and didnt answer because I don't really know. Thought you would have a response by now too. Have you tried one of the bfing helplines?

Thanks for your reply -hadn't thought of the phone lines which is daft as they're loads of help. Am about to go &get DS now so it will all be back to normal again in a mo!

I found expressing just really stressful and never had any luck getting the milk out in any quantity.

I can't think of an easy way round it, but could you arrange to have access for BFing and then leave them to it? I assume he's getting some other source of milk [formula or cows] which he is with your H. Is he gone fri eve to sun eve?

I found I was engorged every time DD missed a feed, even when we dropped down to the one feed at 16 months. It was the odd occasion when DD went off with my parents or IL's for a day trip, so I can't think that it messed up my supply.

I've never had much luck expressing and i think the added stress of him being away, has just not helped - and I've tried several methods...

DS is home now (yay ) so managed to relieve the pressure somewhat.. i just worry that this regular engorgement is going to cause issues... and i don't want to stop bf for a while yet (DS likely to be my last given age & current situation )

Will just keep at it and hope he is still getting enough to want to stick at it (DD self weaned at not much older!)

I would try one of the lovely ladies on the bf help lines. I was told that your boobs work it out over a couple of weeks of when the milk is needed and when it's not. So that if you do t bf on Mondays but do all the other days then boobs know this, I have no idea how!! Anyway could you not feed at wkends, even when you have DS? Then maybe your boobs will learn?

What makes you think your supply has dropped? If he's feeding a lot more when he gets back, maybe it's just that he missed you. It certainly wouldn't take 2 weeks to build up your supply. At 14 months it should be very robust and not affected too much by him being away.

The engorgement must be uncomfortable though. Hand expression takes a fair bit of practice- have you tried doing it in the bath? The warm water can help.

I think your supply will adjust to this new regular pattern after a few weeks with no lasting damage - just watch out for signs of blocked ducts as mastitis would be a nightmare. I found doing it in the shower worked well because of the warm water.

Milk supply can adjust to working mums who don't express during the week and then feed during the day at weekends so I'm sure it can adjust to a bi-weekly pattern. It will just take a while to get into sync etc.

It is very, very, extremely ridiculously unlikely that your milk supply will go away completely just because you're not feeding for a couple of days at a time at 14 months :) Supply is WAY more robust than that at this age.

Thank you all so much - have tried a bath and shower but other than a small trickle, not much luck. Sounds like once this is the established routine, my boobs will adjust. As mentioned, it's just one of the things i am keen for my marriage breakdown not to effect.

I work full time and they've adjusted round that, so just something else! thanks again