Considering weaning off the breast, DS is 22 months

[Fazerina]

Up until now I've been quite keen on letting DS self-wean. However, DH would like DS to wean when he is 2 and while I've told him to butt off, I'm currently open to anything really..

Should I choose to start weaning, I understand the best way to go about it is to do it gradually dropping one feed at a time. However, DS is quite an erratic feeder and while he does have some set BF times (before nap and throughout the nap, BT, right after I've come to bed with him in the evening and throughout the early morning hours), he can randomly ask at different times of the day. We recently went on a holiday abroad and he was a complete boob monster!

So with his erratic feeding schedule, how would I go about dropping one feed at a time? I've read it's easier to drop daytime feeds,as you're more 'in control' and less likely to cave in, so should I just try that first? I dread naptime, as that would mean DS would probably only sleep in his buggy with me walking miles on end, as that's the only other way apart from sleeping with a boob in his mouth he will nap! Does anyone have experiences of a similar situation?

Anyone?

This is how we did it/are doing it (DS is two):

Nightweaned at 22 months. I used Jay Gordon's method (we co-sleep), and it worked very well.

During that time (about two weeks), I told DS he could feed as much as he wanted during the day, and he did increase his feedings.

I then dropped day feeds so that we just had first thing in the morning and last thing at night. He was used to not feeding much during the day, as we're usually out and he's easily distracted. (We just had a short period of increased day feedings during night weaning, as I didn't want it all to be too sudden for him.) He would sometimes ask during the day, but never protested or got upset when I said no and distracted him.

We then dropped the first morning feed, by rushing straight into something he loves doing - usually painting or something messy (sometimes at 5am!). He would be distracted for a while, then ask for a feed, and I would say "later", and give him some yoghurt and then get on with the usual morning stuff. Again, no upset or tears or protesting. I would keep moving, though, so I was never sitting down on the sofa where he would like to feed.

At the moment we're still doing one feed just before bed, but it's getting shorter and shorter. We've changed the evenings in that instead of doing what we usually do - play, story, pyjamas and feed after supper - we now go out for walk straight after supper.

This has changed the routine, and also made him more tired, so that when I change him into his pyjamas he's very sleepy and feeds for only a minute or so.

Not quite sure how I'll entirely drop the last feed, but I'm in no hurry to do so as we're both quite happy with how things are for now.

hth :)

Tuttavia - these are great tips!

I'm marking my place on this thread. I'm currently feeding at 19mo (morning, naptime if at home and bedtime) but I have just found out I am 6 weeks pregnant with number 2 and would like to wean well before new baby arrives.

Thanks for all the tips Tuttavia! That sounds like a really gentle way to go about it. I think I will have to re-visit the Jay Gordon-method, as we also co-sleep and I have no idea how to carry on with that and not BF at night.. I also like the idea of going for a walk right before BT, that should really wear them out:)..

DS2 (2.1) is still feeding at bed time and naptime, he's also getting to the stage where some days he doesn't nap. I've decided it's easier all round to wait until the nap is gone, before really bothering to push weaning. In his case this isn't going to be all that long, some children keep napping for much longer. DS1 was only having a bedtime feed when we stopped, DP put him to bed for the first few nights and we didn't really have any problems after that.

I love the idea of self-weaning but I'm also getting very tired of bfing. I got pregnant a month after giving up with DS1, so I've now been almost continuously pregnant or bfing for 5 1/2 years and I'm ready for a break!

LastOrdersAtTheBra, well done for BFing both DC past infancy, you really do deserve a break:)!

That sounds like a good way to drop daytime feeds to wait until the nap is gone. I think I'll seriously consider that.. Although in DS's case it might mean a while longer still. I think when I can see the nap getting shorter, i.e only 45min to an hour, it might be viable to let him have it in the buggy when we're out and about, as this would hopefully also mean, he would be busy with other things and not demand the boob first thing after waking up.. I think the one that'll be hardest to drop is the early morning 'sleep with the boobie'-sessions..

what is the jay Gordon method?

Jay Gordon's method is here:

drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

By the time we did it DS could already self-settle (just chose not to most of the time), and had stopped wanting a feed every time he hurt himself or was upset. I think that's why it worked so well - we weren't teaching him a new skill, or depriving him of a needed source of comfort.

The first night was the hardest, in that he woke a lot, but after that it really went very smoothly indeed. And rather than the suggested 6 or 7 hours, we went for about 11, as I decided that it would be less confusing to DS to just get the message that no more feeding in bed. A couple of times, upon waking after 6, I offered him a feed in bed, but he insisted on going downstairs to feed, so I think he had in his mind that bed was no longer a place for feeding.

(We had tried this method once at 15 months, and there was upset crying, so I stopped after the first night, and we tried again at 19 months, but he still didn't seem ready. When he was ready, it was very simple and painless.)

thanks