My local maternity unit have asked me to talk to expectant mothers about breastfeeding - what should I say?

[Miaou]

Really chuffed to have been asked (I contacted them a couple of months ago and offered to support them)

Anyway they have asked me to talk about my experiences of b/feeding and to answer questions, but I would like to know what you wish you had been told about b/feeding when you were pg for the first time.

I am in a very high-rate bottlefeeding area so I think I will have my work cut out!!

1. If you encountered a problem who did you turn to for support (particularly professional)?

Problem was baby was feeding for up to 6 hours per feed. Told HV. She was sceptical that I was telling the truth I think. It turned out he was having a massive growth spurt that lasted about 8 weeks. Feeding times then settled down to normal.

1. What was your lowest point and what was the cause of it?

Some days just felt I could't carry on with it. So tired and I was losing too much weight. Just held on to the thought that by the next day I might feel OK and usually did.

Very sleepy jaundiced baby problem. Mine was very jaundiced and had 10 days phototherapy and jaundiced for a total of 6 weeks. Foot tickling, blowing on cheeks and tickling behind the ears usually woke him back up.

I also had thrush, which nobody picked up on. I kept telling my HV my nipples were v. sore all the time but she just kept saying it was normal, it would get better, and she told me it couldn't be thrush as ds didn't have any white spots in his mouth (not the only symptom but the only one she checked for). I had to work it out for myself and ask the GP for treatment at my 6wk check
I think HPs don't seem to be very up on thrush, which is shocking really as I think it is quite common and could easily make you want to give up bf. The BFN have some very good \link{http://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/information/thrush.php\information} on it.

Well done Miaou. I'm about to start training as peer support as my area is pretty poor too. I think I'm looked at as a bit eccentric as I'm still feeding DS at 9 months!

Anyway, they are all great responses so far. I think I would also make sure and tell people just how boring it is to start with. You seem permenantly at an awkard angle with a baby attached. I wish someone had told me that it is OK for a baby to feed/suckle for 40 mins out of most hours.

Even though I knew about skin to skin contact, everything I knew went out the window when DS was born as I was shattered after birth. I wish that I had been encouraged to do more skin to skin and more feeding. I was just happy that DS was sleeping in the hospital that I wouldn't wake him to feed him. He screamed for hours an hour or two after the birth and as it was overnight I was just trying to settle him. I never thought to feed him! And noone suggested it!

The early weeks are frought with worry about how much they're taking and weight gain etc. Well meaning relatives will suggest that your baby is crying because you don't have enough milk. They will also suggest formula as you'll know what they're taking. It seems a good idea at the time! Thank goodness my DH talked me out of it!

1. If you encountered a problem who did you turn to for support (particularly professional)?

I asked my midwife for help. She said it wasn't normal for DS to feed for 60 mins +. She said "is he latching ok?", and then looked at him feeding and says "it seems fine". not a lot of help. My family were the best support. Mumsnet was a close second. I never got round to calling the NCT or similar as I felt that my problems were too trivial. But I found that since I was anon on mumsnet I could ask silly things!

1. What was your lowest point and what was the cause of it?

There were so many! Most days in the first few months I thought of quitting. I was worried about DS being unsettled and colicky. Lowest point was getting through having the flu when DS was 2 wks. I felt physically unable to feed. But when I expressed for a bottle I ended up engorged and sore. It was awful. Luckily I stayed at my mums and she simply brought me DS every couple of hours to feed him.

Hi again.

1. If you encountered a problem who did you turn to for support (particularly professional)?

I have fantastic mws here and fortunately they gave me all the answers, any Q's I had were in the first couple of days so they were still calling daily. After that it was the hv but she has no kids and I have difficulty believing with her.

1. What was your lowest point and what was the cause of it?

Baby was about 6 weeks old, novelty had worn off for everyone else, Dh back at work etc I was getting tired and sore. (I never really encountered any problems like cracked bleeding nipples or worse etc, just very painful so I'm just mentioning this as small points can be quite valid too) Dh just doted on the baby and kissed him all day, but all the baby brought me was pain and it wasn't much joy. In the night, I would be feeding and Dh would be asleep next to me and that can be quite hard sometimes, when it's every night. He would take the lo for a nappy change in between sides thogh and I would get 10 mins kip. Anyway to end on a happy note, I did a nappy change at 5am the day before he was 6 wks old, I lay him on his mat, held his head in my hands to talk to him and I got his first smile! It brought tears to my eyes. That made all the pain go away and I knew it was all worth it. I was never going to switch to formula but that moment was worth wiating for. Sorry to ramble but when I was due any info was worth listening to so HTH.

any problems - I turned to MN! But they weren't big ones.

And my lowest point was one time in the first two weeks when I was so sore from him sucking and got up in the night and thought I really do NOT want to do this. But I hadn't bought any alternatives so had no option!

First time I had a problem, I phoned my HV who got me a docs appointment straight away (some sort of infection, but still don't really know what). She also referred me to the local LLL counsellor who is very nice, but didn't tell me much that I hadn't already read on MN.

My lowest point was as above. DS was around 4 weeks, I was too sore to feed him. I knew that he would be ok just feeding off the ok side to rest the sore side if I could relieve the pressure on the sore side by expressing. I didn't have a pump, I didn't even have a bottle (although I later found one in a Bounty pack), I had no clue how to hand express, but tried anyway getting nowhere and bruising my breast in the process. When it came to getting to the docs surgery, there was 4 inches of snow on the ground, I couldn't drive as still recovering from CS (and DH had the car anyway). DH took an hour and a half to do the 20 mins drive home from work in the snow to take me to docs. I phoned docs to say I would be late and got the guard dog that works on reception telling me that it might not be possible to see the doc when I got there. Then as DH was so late getting home, I decided to walk to the surgery but couldn't even push the pram out of the driveway and none of the streets had been cleared of snow anyway. My neighbour arrived home, so I ran next door and asked if he would give me a lift to the surgery and then I burst into tears prompting him to panic asking if the baby was ok, was I ok etc etc. Anyway, I finally made it to my appointment and I think the doc prob didn't have much of a clue and prescribed all sorts of things for me and ds. I was too distressed to question her and was sure she would write "PND" all over my notes as I was sitting there blubbing away. DH then took me to Tesco where we bought bottles/steriliser/breastpump etc.

Anyway, we got over all of this and I went on to exclusively bf until DS was 26 weeks and we are still going strong at 28 weeks

Sorry it's so long

Aw mawbroon, you did have a rough time! Thank you everyone for your stories though.

I think one of the things I need to emphasise is that new babies are exhausting however you feed them and finding yourself in tears at 3am is not exclusive to breastfeeders

I would have liked to have had more support and advice on how to do it not just in hospital but at home too.

I was told I couldn't go home after having dd until I had decided how I would feed her and that it was "established". I couldn't get to grips with breast and after being in for 3 days and not much help, I wanted to go home so I chose the bottle.

Even at home the midwives didn't mention it anymore even though I was still trying.

Maybe advice on expressing would have helped too so that partners can help with feeding.

I also found things easier once I'd taken on board Tiktok's advice that only dairy and nuts (and a tiny proportion of alcohol) will seep through into your milk. DS was gassy and I was gradually cutting out just about everything I liked from my diet. Once I learned that what you eat will not make your baby gassy, I accepted that DS was just a windy boy, and went back to my normal diet. Also - getting the real gen on fore and hind milk was an eyeopener for me. There's a lot of misconceptions about it.

bump for some more tips etc

If you encountered a problem who did you turn to for support...
HV, who referred me to gp, then ABM via phone no which was on info booklet given out in hospital. So glad I remembered to keep it. MW and HV both looked at me feeding in early days at my request and said it "looked fine". I had successfully bf twice before and knew it had never hurt that much before. GPfelt breast, said it's not mastitis yet, come back if it gets worse.BF support lady gave practical advice on changing positions, and listened to my worries.

Lowest point (so far) 8 weeks in. Getting more painful, crying through every feed, dreading him waking up for fear of more pain.

I knew it wasn't always easy to start with, but if it had been my first,I would have given up at this point.

Best advice is to take each day , or even each feed at a time, and not to buy bottles etc in advance (too much temptation to give up, and most of us could send someone to all night supermarket to buy if it really was needed)

Miaou can I ask you to stress that ime and imo the mw's on the ward are there to help you and ime they love to get the bfing started, and most are willing to help any bfer. My friend gave up on day 3 as she felt the nurses were too busy to call for help, that really makes me sad.

walk into the room, whip your bra off with a triumphant, "these are norks, we use them to BF, don't let any interfering busybody tell you otherwise."

Or maybe a more tactfull approach is required

my lowest point was when DS went through his first growth spurt (5 weeks-ish) and he fed non-stop for days. I started to panic in the evenings becasue my previously Jordanesque norks looked and felt empty. I had MIL hassling me to give him a bottle in the evenings. Fortunately the wise ones at MN reassured me that the boobs are never empty. Turns out that DS went on to regularly have a fussy time between 7-10pm that he grew out of by about 3 monhts.

My lowest point was the whole of the first week. Ds was really sleepy when he was born, wouldn't latch, wouldn't feed. Fortunately one of the nursery nurses spotted he was jaundiced and he was taken to SCBU when he was 24 hours old. He came back after 16 hours, but he was still very sleepy and latching was a nightmare. I'd try for about half an hour, changing positions, changing sides, trying to get the milk started so he could smell it and generally trying to stuff my boob in his mouth. Fortunately all the hospital staff were fantastic and really supportive - would sit with me each time until he finally started eating!

So I'd echo the point about not all babies knowing how to feed - my ds couldn't latch by himself (without me shoving my boob in his mouth) until he was about 3 months, iirc. Now, at 11 months, he can latch as soon as he gets within about 12 inches of an uncovered nipple! :)

I got a lot of help from the midwives on the ward after dd1 was born. Although I had expected bfing to come easily and naturally, I really struggled at first and needed help to get dd1 latched on for just about every feed.

Lowest point came when dd1 was about a week old. Unbeknown to me, I had developed thrush and bfing became absolute agony. I would cry at the mere thought of feeding. I remember one occasion when I was trying to get dd1 to latch on, but couldn't bring myself to do it because it was hurting so much. DH told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and making such a fuss, so I stormed out, leaving him alone with a crying dd1. I came back about half an hour later and just got on with it, through gritted teeth. (Took dh about a day to apologise, though. But now he is a strong bf advocate and very clued up on the whole business - much more so than your average GP, I should think). Eventually got sorted out with help from the bf clinic at the local hospital and from an NCT counsellor. GP knew next to nothing about bfing and insisted that there was no such condition as thrush in the breast ducts. But with a lot of insistence, backed up with a letter from the bf clinic, I eventually go my prescription for the correct medication and things started to improve. I think its worth telling people that doctors don't necessarily know that much about bfing and that bf clinics and organisations like the NCT and LLL are a lot more useful as a source of help and information.

Perhaps it isn't quite what you are wanting, but my advice to anyone who was planning on breastfeeding would be:

Try to find out about bf before baby is born. Remember it is a learning process for you and baby. It may or may not come easily to one or both of you.

Virtually all mothers can produce enough milk for their babies. Women's bodies haven't suddenly changed in the last century or so (i.e since formual was invented) so that they can no longer feed a baby adequately.

Be prepared to spend a lot of time bfing, especially in the early weeks, and especially in the evenings. This is how baby build up your supply and it will get better.

Don't get any formula in, "just in case". I know that I would have given up at my low point, had I had any formula in the house. By not having it there, I was able to think "I'll see how I feel in the morning" and by the morning I had resolved to bf for a bit longer ( I think I was aiming for about 10 days at that point. I actually went on to last 18 months).

Every feed counts. So even bfing for a few days or weeks is going to benefit baby.

Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Oh, brilliant, Miaou - had missed this! You've read my low blood sugars thread with DS2, so you've seen how much help(!) professional were with him...

1. If you encountered a problem who did you turn to for support (particularly professional)?

I didn't, I struggled on with characteristic but stupid stubbornness. DS1 took about 6 weeks to feed "well" - he was gaining stacks of weight, but I have a v abundant supply, so he didn't really have to latch properly. Once his mouth was a bit bigger, everything "clicked".

DS2 fed pretty well from the start (despite threats of formula top-ups and neonatal unit for "low" blood sugar), but I did get mastitis (overabundant supply again - DS2 couldn't take the milk fast enough!). I knew what to do and avoided antibiotics, but I felt shocking.

1. What was your lowest point and what was the cause of it?

Lowest point with DS1 was probably a few weeks in, trying to get him to latch on in the middle of the night, his mouth was tiny, he was really hungry and had a really strong rooting reflex which meant his head kept darting about. He kept going on wrongly, or if he went on right, he took himself off (abundant supply thing again, I think!) and I just wanted to put him in the next room and lie down and sleep forever. Didn't though, got through it and fed for nearly 17m.

With DS2 there have been two low points - the first was in hospital when the midwife said he needed topping up - I was so determined to get his sugars up that I didn't pay much attention to the way I was being treated at the time, but looking back - well!

And then the mastitis - I was shivering, burning up, boob was SO sore and I had to feed him and look after DS1.

But again, I got through it and feeding's a dream now - has been since he was about a fortnight old, although there were considerably more good feeds than painful ones in that first fortnight too.

I can't get over how strongly I need to feed my babies - for me there is no other option. It's like needing to breathe, for me.

You save £450 in the first year if you breastfeed for a year and then go on to cows milk. Saving on bottles, formula, sterilisers, etc.

2 children = £900

Do say that it can hurt and that the red books are a load of rubbish.

1. If you encountered a problem who did you turn to for support (particularly professional)?

NCT and Mumsnet - DD (number 2) always seemed overwhelmed by the milk. She would choke on it, get windy, fed up, etc. NCT helpline was not great really. I felt the woman wasn't listening to me - idea is good though. In the end she seemed to grow out of it/get used to it. She has grown up to be a slow/small portion eater.

1. What was your lowest point and what was the cause of it?

Waking both children when they were very sleepy about day 2 with DS, day 4/5 with DD to get milk into them and stop the jaundice setting in.

Looking back I wished the midwives in hospital had watched me feed DS. They kept asking if he was feeding and I honestly replied 'I think so'. Looking back I think he was just nuzzling, hence the jaundice.

Thank you everyone, this is really helpful. One of the mums at mother and baby group this morning took me on one side to ask me some questions about breastfeeding and I was so pleased she had asked! (particularly as I knew the answers!!). There is a need for good support here - the hv's are super but we are so far away from them (live in a very rural area)that they can't just pop in if you need to check your latch or whatever.

Oh thats brilliant Miaou!

Some problems i had - second time around only - thrush and mastitis. Some GP's dont know how to treat this apparently. I rang the BFN and got great advice and support one evening when in tears with the pain and dreading the next feed in 20 minutes time.

Invest in decent breast pads and lots of muslin squares to use to help catch/mask sprays or excess flooding of milk in the early days.

Feeding laying down is good in the early days - especially if you are sore - get someone to show you how.