help please - 8 week old fighting the breast and screaming

[Astrophe]

I've breast fed DS since he was born (8 weeks ago) - hes only had about 5 bottles total - sometimes he takes the bottle, sometimes not.

We got off to a good start with breasfeeding and his attachment was, and is, good. He is a good weight (9.1Lb born, now hes about 13Lb) and is strong and healthy, but when I feed him he screams and pulls of the breast, gulps air, goes stiff etc.

I know part of the problem is that my milk lets down very fast and he hates this. I've tried expressing at the beginning of each feed but it doesn't seem to slow the milk down at all. He has a favourite side. but sometimes wont feed off either. He never seems to take a good feed, and only sleeps for 2-3 hours at a time day and night.

I'm feeling very desperate - I want to keep feeding but am completely exhausted and also have a 2 year old to care for. I feel so guilty to be thinking of bottles, as I fed DD for 14 months. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

I am so pleased for you that things are going well. Hope your dd is well quickly so you can enjoy Eli's longer sleep stretches.

We do seem to be jet-setters lately. Not really what we had planned but c'est la vie!

Be very VERY careful about saying anything negative about the NHS on MN. I had to change my name when I was attacked for voicing concerns about the lack of ante-natal care I was receiving...

Having had our fourth baby in the USA, I am not convinced that anyone has health care sorted. I much prefered my Canadian births but they were in Alberta and health care is a provincial issue at home. We had an independent midwife for ds2 (in London).

There are no health visitors nor public health clinicsin New York where I can have dd2 weighed. I would have to take her to the pead's office and sit in a waiting room full of presumably sick children in order to have well baby check, jabs etc. Very different to home and the UK.

We have only been here since December. I have enjoyed the experience but would not like to have my children grow up here. My parents are actually in Australia now visiting my mum's cousin. I have asked her to bring me back some cute clothes from Pumpkin Patch.

yikes, thanks cadmum for the heads-up...will hold my tongue! In Aust we have 2 systems for healthcare; medicare (govt, free to everyone but longer waiting etc) or private, but if you go to the private gp the government pays the amount it would to a public gp, then the user pays the rest. The result is that most people can see the gp they like, when it suits them, by paying a bit extra.

Of course my experience of Australian healthcare is not everyones - I had a particularly wonderful gp, and our local public hospital where i had dd was lovely and new, but many are not. And the government are always trying to cut back the medicare budget, so who knows how things will be when we go back there.

I have actually met quite a few Canadians who have said that in many ways the two countries are as similar as you can get (not the weather obviously). But I have not been there yet, so "I don't know.

I recommend you make Australia your next stop...after vienna! Its a great place for kids to grow up - we will definately be back there in a few years. Ask you Mum to look out for 'Bonds' brand kids clothes ( bright cotton, practical, cheap-ish clothes, but quite funky...you get them in Myer or David Jones...they are department stores)or 'country road' stuff (much more expensive)...thats what I'd be buying if I were there - well, not much 'country road' actually!

I hope your dd is feeding better and is more settled now. Eli has been good this morning but a bit unsettled this arvo...still much better than earlier in the week though.

I should really come and talk to you on the post-natal thread - i just feel bad because im not regularly there and only come on mn when having a crisis! I just have so little time...don't know how you ever get on here with 4!

Hi Astrophe

I am so glad you posted about this, I am having EXACTLY the same problem with my DD (first child). I have a very painful let down but I don't have an over supply (my boobs rarely feel engorged and I only need one set of breastpads a day).

I think I might try feeding from one breast like Tiktot suggests but I am a bit worried this will reduce my milk too much? If it did would I be able to increase my milk again quite quickly? I've not had a good BF experience to date but had lots of excellent advice and help from here which has kept me going (DD is 12 wks).

I'm so relieved to hear this method is working for you, I totally relate to how you are feeling, it's so stressful and I am embarrassed to feed in public. I did try giving DD some expressed milk in a bottle but she wont take a bottle and screamed and arched her back so I think it is the foremilk giving her problems.

Thanks
Lucy

Lucy, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. My ds has not been great today but he is still much better than he was.

I'm not really sure if I am the person to advise you as you can see everything I know by reading this thread! Tiktok is obviously much wiser than me! I'll tell you how I'm going so far though...The first 24 hours or so I felt like my supply did go down (but this was ok for me) but of course its hard to tell. DS certainly sucks for longer towards the end of the 6 hours (I am still doing 6) but then is satisfied for longer, so he is obviously full.

He still sometimes screams during the first feed after I swap sides, as that boob is obviously pretty full, but its still not as bad as it was, and at least its not every feed. I'm hoping that over time my supply will settle down more.

If your supply were to drop too much I think the way to get it up agaun is to feed often and long...but I have not dont it. I'm sure there are others who could advise you though. As far as I understand it, yiur baby will tend to get the supply up herself because she will want to feed a lot if she is feeling hungry.

As for the bottle feeding, it may be worth persevering. My ds didn't take a bottle the first few times, then suddenly did. He will only take it when he is genuinely hungry, and only from my husband,and he has a strong preference for a certain teat which is sort of flat and softer than most (sadly i blew up the bottle that goes with it in the microwave last week!) On the other hand, my dd (now 2) never took a bottle no matter what we did.

Did you read what Bighug wrote about expressing before and after? (about half way down) Maybe you could try that if you are worried about your supply dropping too much...I imagine that all that expressing might actually boost it a bit, and maybe it would slow your let-down a bit as well?

Or could you try just leaving her one one side for the whole feed and making sure she stays to get the hind milk to settle her tummy, then swapping next feed?

Are you sure your let-down is fast as well as painful?

I hope something I've said is helpful! I know its just awful feeding when they scream and fuss and milk is going everywhere. I still don't feel like he have it all under control yet, but it is much better for us. I guess some babies just aren't as easy to feed as others. When I fed DD I had a really good experience, so I just assumed it would be like that again.I'm clinging to the thought of one day going out and breastfeeding in a cafe and ds NOT screaming, and me thinking "I'm so glad I didn't have to sterilise bottles etc, etc"...I still hope it will happen, and I hope it will for you too. Feel free to chat or whinge to me!

Good luck Lucy,
Astro:)

Lucy, call one of the helplines and talk this through.

One sided feeding in the way I described may not be right for you, if you are worried about compromising your supply.

12 weeks with a screaming baby who is difficult to feed needs a careful assessment - it's not right to pick someone else's solution and see if it 'fits'.

Post again, maybe with another thread, and I will have a think about what to suggest.

Hi, thanks ladies

Astro - really appreciate you sharing your experiences and giving some advice.

TT - I agree with you - I'll perhaps try and do a new post.

I'm off to a LLL monthly meeting tomorrow, hoping the councellor might offer some advice as well if she can see DD in feeding action.

Thanks

Lucy

I hope LLL meeting really helps. My DS has had a bit of a relapse - still sleeping better but screaming more again, so I might have to go to LLL or something as well. I just keep waiting and hoping that tomorrow might be the day...but I'm probably being a bit silly. I'm very sad that its not nice to feed DS like it was with DD :(