breastfeeding stress x 2! ...advice please!

[Magicpink]

Hi ladies. My son is now 10 days old and i'm trying very hard to exclusively breastfeed. Once he has latched on he feeds well, although i have to wait while he hss power snoozes but that's ok. The trouble is he screams for anywhere between 3-4 minutes and 15 minutes before getting a good latch. He also punches and elbows me in the boobs, scratches me and generally mucks about with my nipple in a non useful way. This is really distressing for everyone and seemingly nothing i do helps. Does anyone have experience of this and know what to do? He definitely needs feeding, i'm not trying to force it.
The second issue i have is that my bra size with milk is 34k and i cant get a nursing bra that fits so am having to strip off my top half every time i feed. This also means i cant have a pad on the other boob so have to have a towel over it and a waterproof sheet ocer baby to stop him getting showered. This is all so much hassle and is really getting me down and making me feel very tense. When he then starts with the screaming etc i just find myself in tears and feeling terrible. I dread feed times. It also means i cant leave the house with him for longer than about 2 hours which doesnt bear thinking about for the next hiwever many months. I feel bad enough after 10 days of it. I am considering doing EBF instead as i want him to enjoy feed times and be relaxed and to feel like i can give him what he wants without all this upset and added hassle. I am wondering what down sides there might be to switching to bottles of expressed milk, if any....any thoughts? Or other suggestions? I am so fed up of it and when i do get chance to sleep i am having awful nightmares and waking up all sweaty and panicky because i'm just so stressed. Feel wiped out by it all :-(

Excuse type errors...tried to type with baby in other hand. You get the idea i hope.

Hi Magic. My DS1 did the flailing thing to start with. He would be hungry and frantic to get to a boob but too wriggly to get him latched. What helped was to swaddle his arms. Use a cellular blanket ar a big muslin, fold in half into a triangle and use the long side across baby's back at shoulder level. The bits you are left with at either side go over an arm and tuck under the back, it effectively pins their arms to their sides. Once they are latched and relax you can easily loosen it. I only needed to do it for a short time while we got the hang of it. It could also be a sign that he is getting too hungry, are you waiting for him to cry before offering a feed? Watch out for restlessness or rooting a bit earlier.
Can't help with the bigger bra sizes, not blessed in that department, but hope someone else will have suggestions.
Exclusively expressing is massively hard work, it will take a long time each day expressing and then time to faff with bottles. I have nothing but admiration for women who manage it for babies who for some reason can't latch, but I would encourage you to get the support you need to get the hang of feeding direct and save bottles of EBM as an occasional thing so you can leave baby for a few hours.
Have you contacted a local BF group? This is just the sort of thing hey can help you with. Or there are BF counsellors from organisations like the NCT who will visit you at home and help. These are teething troubles and can be overcome. I know it is overwhelming and very hard work, but it does get easier.
Oh, and congratulations!

I googled 'nursing bra 34k' and got lots of hits, so I suspect t'internet can help you out there.

Get some breast shells from boots to collect the milk in the other breast (use masking tape to secure) I had oversupply with dd2 and these helped a lot. I had to empty a couple of times a feed but at least it was putting the milk to good use and I was not getting soaked in the process. Also I am no expert at all but could the crying be something to do with fast letdown/ oversupply I found it useful to express first minutes milk off then feed dd2 as it was not as fast for her (she took less air and was able to cope better). Hopefully someone with more experience will be along soon.

Royce make nursing bras in 34K.

Re the screaming, if he starts can you just try holding him upright skin to skin for a few minutes to calm him? If he's upset that must be stressful for you both and not conducive to a good latch. Do you have any BF drop ins near you? Take him along so they can watch, they are likely to have some ideas. Also, if he naps on the boob try squeezing feet/tickling/blowing face to get him going again.

Expressing exclusively is hard work. I would see if you can get help with the problem before going down this route.

Hi, sounds like hard work. My dd was a flailing arms angry sort of feeder as a newborn, swaddling is good, or just making sure lower arm is under their body. Forget nursing pillows, they tend to raise baby up too high for big boobs, baby should be brought to the level of your nipple. It will calm down I promise!
Re nursing bras, royce are really the only ones for you (I am wearing 32j royce bras currently)

Oh, in my experience jasmine and Charlotte styles the best, sadie is similar to Charlotte but higher under arms and not comfy. Shape not as good either. Get to bravissimo if you can, but bear in mind that your size will decrease a bit yet prob. Mine did about 3 weeks ish.

Was going to say, don't invest a fortune in loads of bras til a month or two in - I definitely went down a bit after the initial milk frenzy.

Also recommend the swaddle for flaily feeders.