In need of some decent BF advice for 3 wk old

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

DD is 3 wks. Gaining weight normally. Exclusively BF.

However - I'm not sure how much more I can bear of her constant unsettledness (?word). This is not an exaggeration when I say she is almost always straining really loudly, kicking legs, red in face etc. Nights are horrendous. Will feed loads and then strain so much she's sick and then want to feed again.... For hours.
I have a 2 yr old and life is becoming unbearable - although don't get me wrong, I never expected it to be easy.

Have tried raising cot, have tried co-sleeping, have tried winding before, during, after feeds (never get much at all), have tried colief on advice of Hv (DS was truly lactose intolerant following aggressive course of IV antibiotics at 4 weeks old and she wondered if familial tendency). Have tried sleeping on front & side.
Nothing bloody works.

Am feeling v tempted by formula, despite not wanting to give up BF.
Somebody give me some words of encouragement. and a magic wand please.

Oh yeah tried block feeding too. And giving ebm via anti-colic bullshit bottles

What's block feeding? You know more than I do about this! Just to say though that ds3 is 7 weeks and for the first four he was like this - really, really unhappy baby and worried looking and crying most of the time he was awake.
I thought I was good with babies ...not this time!

What helped very slightly was holding him along my arm iykwim, face down - sometimes it helped him a bit. But it was relentless.

Magically after about a month of that he seemed to settle - his nappies changed to a more golden, smooth stuff with no greeny bits, and his nappy rash went away. I didn't change my diet or anything else.
I assume he had a digestive system that wasn't very developed - maybe not enough enzymes to digest some things? but after that point he's been way way better, he still gets like it on occasion but it's minority rather than majority of the time.

Hang on in there. You could try giving up milk/dairy and see if that helps - a few people on here told me it did. Or just wait it out.

I never thought of trying formula as an alternative - I never knew it could help with this. I'm glad though as I planned to bf for as long as I can - not sure introducing something new would be any good?

Best of luck though, I know how you feel

I'm a fucking midwife! I should know better but I can't see to the end of this torture - even though I've been here before.
Feel royally duped as EVERYONE told me it's easier second time around.

Thank you for your kind response

Oh yikes you poor thing. No worries...it does feel interminable doesn't it?

I was lucky with ds2 who was laid back and barely cried - thought I had cracked it, oh yeah this is karma biting me on the arse

You'll be alright. seriously I bet it improves by next week. They are changing all the time and though it is hateful not being able to make them happy, or stop their pain or whatever it is going on, they gradually get better. I kept asking the MWs and HVs what was wrong with him. They all said he's just little.

What about infacol? It sounds like she has wind, but down below.

A bit of baby massage might also help. Olive oil on your fingertips, rub her tummy in a clockwise motion around the tummy button, then do the leg bicycling thing. Did this with my unsettled DD last night and shortly after, she passed a load of wind and did a couple of huge poos which helped.

Nice very warn baths are amazing for tummy aches. I really wouldn't recommend messing about with formula unless you are prepared to possibly detrimentally affect your milk supply to the point where you are unable to bf.

New babies have very cranky guys and hormones present in breastmilk ease this...for about 10 minutes at a time (give or take). Rocking and warm baths can help too, but again only for a short time. I know this feels never ending but you're almost at the end of this horrible first bit of feeding. Things will settle down and she will stop being in pain. Remember she is still very new to the world and cut both of you some slack

You're doing brilliantly and if you just hang in there and keep going with the flow you'll be out the other side before you know it.

Fwiw I found all infacol did was make my not-sicky baby sick up orange scented milk. Rubbish! Some people swear by it though

Bloody autofill.
New babies have very crampy guts wa what I meant to say

Poor you :(

There's hope for us all if you're a MW and finding it tough at times. Don't know what else to add really other than imo switching to formula might make things worse with wind and digestion, esp. if possible allergy.

If its not reflux, allergy or tongue tie, maybe 'just' colic? The tiger hold and lots of tummy massage good for that, as well as time. How was the birth? I have friends who swore by some cranial osteopathy for their LO who was unsettled.

Good luck

Yeah I'd considered cranial osteopathy but know it's not got a good evidence base so hadnt bothered previously.
DS was t tied and cut almost immediately - I had a really good look at DD and can't see anything. She seems to latch and swallow ok - when my breasts aren't like a couple of taut footballs that is.

Last night DH gave her 4oz of ebm in bottle and she slept for 4 hrs... Woke up and had crap feed with me and barfed the lot back up. Grr.

Sounds exatly what I went through with my daughter...

The first 12 weeks have been a real nightmare. She was almost never really settled. I was breastfeeding her constantly and the night feed ended up her throwing up and we had to start all over again :-(

I went to a very good paediatrician and asked for his advice. He checked her and because she was overall healthy, alert and gained weight he assured me that she's fine and it will be over after 12 weeks. In the meantime he adviced me to feed her on demand and use a baby sling to carry her. And how right he was, she did not throw up once after she was 12 weeks old and the baby sling was a life saver.I was able to do some housework and she was settled, sleeping nicely on my chest.
I also started to drink lots of Neuners herbal baby stomach tea to calm her. It also helped a treat with wind and colic.

Zara75 - thank you for the hope. It is immense comfort to just hear someone understands and is out the other side!