How do you night wean when trying to do attachment parenting?

[MrsHuxtable]

DD is 12 months. We co-sleep, she wakes quite a lot at night and I feed her back to sleep. Judging from how long it takes (a few minutes), 90% of those feeds are for comfort, not hunger. I would carry on like this no problem, my sleep isn't really interrupted and I want to breastfeed her til 18 months at least, 2 years being my ultimate goal.

However, for one reason or another I need to conceive DC2 as soon as possible. My periods came back at 9 months and I'm ovulating ( yay!) BUT my luteal phase is catastrophic. 5 days! Obviously that won't allow me to conceive and I know it's the night feeding that's most likely to blame.

So, I'm going to give it a couple more cycles but if things don't improve, I think I will have to consider night weaning or at least cutting down at lot on these night feeds. My problem is that I can't really reconcile the whole night weaning with being an AP. In my opinion, DD's nee for comfort suckling is just as valid as if she was hungry so I feel like a monster for wanting to take away her comfort.

How have other people handled this?

I'm very upset about my messed up cycle and I really can't imagine having to choose between weaning DD earlier than I'd like to and not conceiving when I need to...

Have you read Dr Jay Gordon on night weaning? Very gentle method for over-ones, & also good explanation of how you're not neglecting your child's needs by doing it, if it's what you need to do:
drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

(I night weaned DS1 at 16 months and fed him for another year, fwiw)

Yes, I have read Dr Jay. I guess what bothers me about his approach is that he keeps repeating "if you really must wean", basically saying he'd prefer you not to but if you are set on doing it, this is they way to go iyswim.

I'm also worried DD won't understand what the heck is going on and why she suddenly can't feed anymore at certain times...

I didn't read it as "he'd prefer you not to", more "if you don't need to, you don't have to, that's fine too". And really, you do need to - you said so yourself. AP doesn't mean "parent subjugates all her needs to child, forever, yes, all of them, otherwise you're a bad mother", in my book.

And your DD will be fine! My DS adjusted remarkably quickly with a lot of night time Daddy cuddles.

Thank you leedy, that makes me feel a lot better. I wish I could be more relaxed about stuff, I'm such an all-or-nothing kind of person...

I guess even Dr Sears says that if you decide to night wean and you baby cries, crying in the arms of someone they know loves them isn't the same as crying it out! I'm just a wimp! DD never had to cry really. She's so relaxed.

How much would you say did your DS cry? And was he also used to feeding to sleep?

I went back to work a couple of weeks ago and when DH is home with DD, he obviously settles her for a nap. She settles with him pretty quickly now so I guess she doesn't NEED the boob, she just prefers it.

We were going to start ttc in April, still 2 cycles to go to see if things are improving. Then I could maybe try for 1 cycle with my rubbish LP and if it doesn't work, try DR Jay. That would make DD 15-16 months.

I can't actually remember - there was a bit of crying but not an enormous amount, and it seemed more annoyed than really upset IYKWIM. The whole process took about a week, and he was still happy to have his bedtime and morning feeds afterwards.

He did feed to sleep, yes, though not for naps (I was also back at work at that stage).