Nursing strike, hand holding needed

[KatieLily12]

Hello

I'm needing some good words and I wondered if anyone has any good experiences that they can share? I'm desperately unhappy and feel like I'm never going to win this battle.

My beautiful daughter has suffered from reflux from week 2 and has had issues with remaining on the breast as a result. We muddled through till week 11 when she suddenly just stopped eating. We started medication to help her and it seems to be providing relief but she still won't eat very well. Every feed is an exercise in patience and coaxing. She won't latch as she's afraid so after the first letdown she becomes frustrated that there's no milk and pulls away. I use compressions and every trick in the book to sooth her onto the breast. I'm exhausted.

I'm trying to express to keep my supply up but I'm rubbish at it. I am taking fenugreek to help and tomorrow I start meds too.

I feel like its just a matter of time before I have to give up but I desperately don't want to. Can anyone offer me any advice/ reassurance or just hand holding because I'm really, really struggling.

Katie, firstly well done. It sounds like you are doing everything you possibly can. Breast feeding can be hard and certainly was for me.

I am sure there will be some wise people along shortly with some ideas.

Have you spoken to la leche league at all? They may have some ideas.

Which pump are you using?

Thank you grey

I have tried two medela pumps, the latest being a fancy dual pump. I got 60 ml after half an hour :s

I've spoken to a lactation consultant from LL but she didn't offer any advice just asked lots of questions. I feel under pressure to stop from family who are worried about me. LO is doing ok but weight gain is a constant battle

Katie, the decision really has to be yours. It is very difficult when you have pressure from well meaning family and friends, but if you want to continue breast feeding then you should.

Have you gone to any of the breast feeding cafes run by the health visitors in your area? I just wondered if there would be anyone there who could help.

My DS had blood sugar issues when born which meant I could leave him forore than a couple of hours between feeds otherwise he has too lethargic to feed. I still worry about how milk he has and he is a thriving 14 month old! It is tough being a parent.

I feel like I'm going mad. I have a happy giggly little girl who is smashing her milestones. She's a Velcro baby but who can blame her when her feeding is so unsettled? I feel like I want to give her that.

She doesn't scream much like a baby typically would with reflux but her feeding habits are very typical, as is the changeable weight gain. She wants a gush of food and comes off the minute things slow down and bucks and cries. She needs to be upright most of the time or cries.

I have been dropping into breast feeding groups to keep my sanity but feel its a bit beyond what can be supported in a room full of 20 other stressed out mothers, you know?

I read kellysmom like a ritual everyday. She feeds at night so I'm really hoping she'll get the hang of things again. Trouble is until she latches properly she won't get the milk but is too impatient to let me break her off and make her latch properly. I feel I'm just buying time.

That's just what she is like. I've just started a second drug for her reflux and I'm taking the adult version that helps boost lactation apparently.

I've also stopped timing the feeds with an App. I was obsessed with how long she was feeding. I'm hoping it will help me to relax a little.

She's 3 months and used to latch ok although has always needed to be prodded to pull her bottom lip out instead of under. She plays with her tongue all the time now so I'm pretty sure it's not tongue tie or is very mild if it is.

That's interesting about top ups. No one has mentioned top ups at all and I'm hardly able to express anything

I just wanted to say that in addition to bf groups, where I live there are bf clinics for one-to-one support, and also you can see a bf specialist mw back at the hospital where I had the baby - is anything like that available in your area or just the group?
You sound like you are very patient and trying so hard. It must be hard to relax when feeding is so stressful, and I suppose that doesn't help feeding to be relaxing either!
Does the lo like to feed in that 'biological nurturing' position, since you say she likes to feed sitting up?
I've had very mixed results with expressing, I found if I did it very regularly I got more (if I tried right now for instance I'd get nowt) and it worked much better if I felt quite "full" to start with. I too took fenugreek, also Brewers yeast, redbush tea and porridge - not sure if any of them worked of course!

Ooooo red bush tea? I love that (adds to shopping list) I've cut out so many things trying to help her reflux so she feeds. God I miss coffee and tea!

We have milk spots, run by breast feeding specialising midwives. It's a little hit or miss: some brilliant, some indifferent. I've heard you can get referred to the infant feeding team so I'm looking into that.

She fed really well the last 24 hours and I get panicked that I'll get hopeful and she'll just stop again. It's so hard to just keep on an even keel.

Thank you to everyone who has posted. It makes a real difference when you're struggling alone at home. We moved when I was pregnant and isolation does not help when you're struggling. Thank god for children's centres and the tube!