New mum. I'm not breast feeding, but my body won't comply. Please help!

[Shelium]

Hello, I have just given birth to DC2.

DC1 was a failed bf. I made the decision after 24 hours not to bf DC2. I am fine with this decision.

However, 3 days ago my milk came in. It hurts. A lot. I cannot lie down except in my back, I have to cover myself with a towel as the milk leaks through my bra and pads. I expected the pain on day 1, but with DC1 the engorgement and pain reduced over time.

This time the pain and engorgement are remaining constant. DC2 is awake a lot, cries a lot and ff a lot. I am his primary carer.

Is the sight/sound/smell/feel of him doing this to my breasts? How can I help myself? And when can I expect my milk to reduce?

I don't want this to turn into a bf/ff debate. I've made my decision, it is one I am happy with and which suits our family. I would just like some advice.

Can you hand express a bit in the bath or shower? Should get rid of some of the milk and help ease the discomfort until your milk goes back.
Also cold washcloths in the top of your bra. Keep some in the fridge.
Congratulations on DC2 by the way!

In my experience it takes about a weekfor milk to dry up. It's flipping painful though. Try and express a bit of milk off while in the shower and I second th advice about wet flannels...

Congratulations! I found a bit of Savoy cabbage leaf in bra really helped with engorgement (and gave my breast an interesting 'cabbage leaf' pattern :)). That plus a tiny bit of expressing (give stuff you express to the baby?) might keep you out of discomfort. And watch for signs of mastitis

Shelium, your midwife will have lots of info about this - you can ask her, and she will check this is 'normal' postnatal engorgement and nothing more. Are you able to ask for a home visit from a community midwife? Today, rather than tomorrow....there are loads of things you can try.

Expressing will give you temporary relief but it will also stimulate your supply and tell your body to keep making milk so it may not be a great plan in the long-term.

Cold compresses can really help (as some of this discomfort is about lymph fluid in the breasts not just milk and cold can promote lymph drainage). You can use cold flannels and cold cabbage leaves but also put frozen peas in a tea towel for rrreally cold compresses for 5-10 minutes at a time.

Eating sage can also help. Not an old wife's tale (not that there's anything necessarily wrong with old wives). Eat fresh sage in sandwiches and make it into a tea if you can stand it.

Having close contact with your baby really isn't the problem. It's just about avoiding taking milk out, calming down the lymph and blood supply (which the cold compresses do) and waiting.

You can also take ibuprofen (assuming you don't have a medical reason to avoid it) as it is an anti-inflammatory and can bring some relief.

Hope you are comfortable soon.

With dd it took over a week for the pain to stop and up to two weeks for it to fully go.

U poor thing I never experienced this with DS limped on bfing for 8 weeks without any engorgement leaking or pain hence the need fir top ups and ultimate failure I guess.

Thank you :) I did see my midwife today on a home isit, but she is fairly useless.

I told her about the pain, and she said "It is normal for the severe pain to lastup to 24 hours" I explained that this is now day 3 - and she asked me if it was quite as bad as day 1. Which admittedly it isn't, but it is still bad enough to feel like burning and prevent me sleeping properly. She listened but told me it was to be expected.

She asked me if my breasts were red, and I explained that I had some light red areas on my breasts, but this could be due to the fact that they are stretched to the max. She didn't look, but said she agreed with me.

She offered no solutions, except (bizarrely) to wrap my breasts in clingfilm before puting on my bra

so i'm not much further forward, and still in a fair deal of pain and discomfort.

Am off out first thing to buy sage and cabbage!! thanks all :)

Congratulations!

As well as the Savoy cabbage, Boots sometimes sell gel pads called "Breast Nurse" that you pop in the fridge before use. They were the best thing for my post-bf'ing pain.

And a sports bra rather than a normal bra should help. Think: compress and cool.

It's very painful, I had it recently and can totally sympathise. Sorry to say, my pain lasted ten days...but that was after over a year of bf'ing.

I think it's supposed to help to express off just a little bit to soften them, you can do this into a cloth or in the shower, it's less messy that way. Don't express off too much as it sends the signal to your body to produce more milk, but just enough to relieve the rock-hard feeling and soreness.

I'd also look up about the signs of mastitis because I am concerned you might be coming down with this which isn't nice at all. If you are, then you need to see your GP asap for an antibiotic prescription because it can make you feel very unwell.

Apologies also if this is an insensitive suggestion, but the best cure for the discomfort would be to put the baby to the breast to feed. I understand you say you don't want to breastfeed, but you would not have to do it long term - just to give your breasts a bit of a gentler easing out and make things more comfortable for you. Totally your decision of course though.

Don't touch your breasts, don't let the shower at them, don't massage them. Are you wearing a decent bra? I formula fed 3 children from birth and it was painful for about a week, I think. Very painful for 2 or 3 days then pain eased. Are you taking painkillers - cocodamol (spelt wrongly I think)

Not insensitive at all Bertie :) and something I'd heavily considered, but stopped myself as didn't want to just be delaying the inevitable.

Bra seems ok, though maybe a little small. Was measured before milk came in. Am on strong painkillers as had c-section too (full of pain and discomfort I am! Though the boobs hurt more than the wound)

Left breast feels calmer today and has a bit of 'give' in it. Am hoping right might catch up. If not I might go to docs tomorrow or day after to see what they think.

Thank you though, hearing other people's experiences makes it seem doable :)

It's good that you can feel some "give", it means the milk is going and hopefully things will get a lot less painful by tomorrow or the day after!

On top of cooling breasts with cold packs and wearing a snug bra I got some pills that helped to stop milk supply, but that was in Germany.
Maybe worth phoning your GP?

I've only ever BF but I remember when my breasts would be engorged at start, it was so bloody painful, I used to wake the baby up to take the milk away and get the pump out just to get some relief, not being able to do that must be hell.

You have my sympathies, wasn't the old wives tale to bind your breasts with a sheet or something tight?

I think there's some evidence that sage maybe helps. Sudafed is meant to (maybe) help. Iboprofen is a good pain relief choice. Going on the full birth control pill (with estrogen) can help, too.

Expressing a little bit for comfort is also ok, and is unlikely to increase your supply.

How is it today?

Much better today thank you, both have some give in them, both are literally pouring though when baby cries! The pain is still there do no-one can hug me without me whimpering or squirming away, but at least I can see the end is in sight.

Thank you for supporting me through this.

Oh and I made sage tea. And drank it. I hope to god I NEVER have to have that experience again

Shelium glad pain is easing a bit - sounds exactly how it was for me