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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Very sad day:-(

13 replies

Bearhugs43 · 04/01/2013 23:09

Sorry this may be long but need to share...
My ds3 (dc4) is ten weeks and gained 20grams this week. So basically zilch. In ten weeks I have... Taken alfalfa goats rue nettle oat straw fennel fenugreek and prescription domperidone. Paid £600 to travel to London to have laser division of upper lip tie and posterior Tongue tie. Expressed round the clock (getting 0.5-2oz each time so not enough to feed him).... Even had help from my wonderful sister supplying her ebm.

But now only 9lb8 at 10wks (8lb11 born) I have no choice but to start formula - urates in his nappy and depressed fontanelle are common.

I am so Hmm that I haven't been able to ebf my last baby. Ds2 also had same issues and started ff at three months (didn't identify he had lip tie until ds3 born) and had so hoped to avoid this again.

. I realise it's not the b all and end all but it's saying goodbye to ebf and it's benefits for my last baby and it's emotional Hmm

I just feel failed and broken- why is it not working - supply and demand??? Arggh Confused

OP posts:
zoobaby · 04/01/2013 23:23

You tried your best and you didn't give up easily. My DS is PFB so very little experience, but one thing I'm quickly learning is that mums will do pretty much anything for the benefit of their child. You're now transitioning into something not out of choice but necessity. But you'll do it for your LO.

If it's not too naff, I'd like to send a big electronic hug in your direction :). Hope you'll go easy on yourself!

smk84 · 04/01/2013 23:43

really feel for you. i dont know why it works out like this sometimes.. it was the same for us.. do you have a plan for moving forward? i found that in the midst of all the emotional turmoil bf brought us, that having some sort of plan helped.

TheElfOnThePanopticon · 04/01/2013 23:56

I'm sorry that things have turned out this way Sad . Have you had a chance to talk through the emotional side of things as well as the physical side with a breastfeeding counsellor? You need care and support as well as your baby.

Zara1984 · 05/01/2013 10:34

I'm so sorry this happened to you. But you are doing the right thing by starting formula - it is clearly the right choice for him. I say this as the mum of a unintentionally FF 10 week old too - he refused to latch and I simply had no choice but to switch him to formula as expressing with no improvement to the latching.

I totally understand the pain you are feeling right now. But remember, just because breastfeeding is "natural" doesn't mean it always works (the same is true for any physiological function!). That us where science and first world infrastructure steps in to help!

Please be kind to yourself, and see a bf counsellor to help you deal with this transition.

Welovecouscous · 05/01/2013 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Welovecouscous · 05/01/2013 10:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaleHousewifeOfCumbriaCounty · 05/01/2013 10:46

What a lovely mum you are; youve clearly tried everything humanly possible. Sending you a hug!

blonderthanred · 05/01/2013 17:42

I'm in exactly the same position as you and will almost certainly be on mixed feeding by the end of the week. No-one seems to understand why it's upsetting for us. But we are doing our absolute best for our babies. Sending love.

Startail · 05/01/2013 17:59

Huge hug and good luck. DD1 was mix fed I never really managed to BF her.

DD2 was slightly older than your DS when she fell off the graph and never did have formula.

She absolutely refused to take a bottle off anyone.

Eventual even the medics gave up and she was weaned straight on to yoghurt, which she loved at 5 months.

She's 11 and still hates milk.

I have once seen her drink out of a bottle, she was 5 yo and had poured her squash into one she used to feed her doll!

mawbroon · 05/01/2013 21:01

Did you do any follow up after the tt division? Stretching the revision site to prevent reattachment and some sort of bodywork to release the tensions caused by the ties as well as working with a lactation consultant who understands about ties?

This is the recommendation from a really good group on facebook - look for tongue tie babies support group and ask to join. There are loads of mothers who are going through or have been through similar who might have some ideas for you.

PoppyWearer · 05/01/2013 21:05

What a fantastic mum you are to have done all that for your baby, and persisted with the bf'ing in spite if everything.

I ebf my DC2 and mix-fed my DC2 and found mix-feeding worked well for both him and me.

I hope things get easier for you from now on. x

Level3at6months · 05/01/2013 21:10

That could've been me 8 yrs ago. It's absolutely gutting when nothing you do works, but you've done your best, you really have. I gave in to mixed feeding amidst lots of tears and guilt, but my DS still bf every night and it didn't tail off until he was around 15 months, so we were both still feeling the benefit of bf. Easy for me to say, but honestly, well done - you've done brilliantly.

MadMonkeys · 09/01/2013 14:22

You poor thing, I know how upsetting it is even when you know that it is the right thing to do. For different reasons I had to ff DD1 from 4 wks, and I felt like nobody understood why I was upset about it either. But try to remember that it is such a short period in the grand scheme of things - before you know it he will be on solids, crawling, walking and the baby days will seem so long ago. You know you are doing the right thing, it just takes a while for your heart to realise it sometimes. x

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