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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Am I starving her?

15 replies

FrillyMummy · 27/12/2012 19:34

I am EBFing my 3mo dd. she is my first baby and I love BFig her. All seems well and she is putting on weight and is on the 50th centile. The HV has no concerns.

However, when she has a day where she is particularly upset (eg, today she was awake for an hour, crying or feeding, then sleep an hour, awake an hour being whingy then sleep an hour all day since 8 am) my DH thinks that she is hungry and that my milk isn't enough for her Any time she cries he just says that she is hungry. She isn't normally very upset but today she was. I was exhausted and just wanted to know I was doing ok, so I stupidly said, "am I doing anything wrong?" And he said that (like he has before) that he thinks BFing her isn't enough. Say that to an exhausted woman and this is what she hears "you are starving our child". Now I am terrified that I am failing her and I am sobbing and don't know what to do

I feel certain that she is fine (just growing?!) and that my BFing her is fine. She is gaining weight and is generally happy. She feeds every 2-2.5 hours and wakes 3 times a night.

Sorry for long post, but I am exhausted today and now worried...

OP posts:

MissTapestry · 27/12/2012 19:39

You aren't starving her, your DH is being an unsupportive tit.
You're doing a fantastic job, she's just a baby, they cry because they have no other way to communicate, but I don't think you need telling that since it sounds like you're doing brilliantly.
Honestly, it gets easier as they get older and give more back for the effort you put in and you can distract them with toys etc.
Did I mention you're doing wonderfully well?
Give your DH a kick up the arse and tell him to either support you or shut fuck up
Bigs hugs (and you're doing an amazing job, in case you didn't get that message!)

MrsHoarder · 27/12/2012 19:46

You're doing fine. Is she teething? Or over tired? More likely than hungry if she's putting on weight.

magnolia74 · 27/12/2012 19:48

From your post its obvious you know your dh is being an unsupportive twit
You are doing a fab job!!! She is puting on weight and generally happy (all babies whine and wriggle and get a bit unsettled but its not only because they are hungry....)

Please have faith in yourself xx

PeachTown · 27/12/2012 19:50

You are not starving her! Bless you. She will have growth spurts where she will feed lots to increase your milk supply - that's how it works. Plus as others have said she will want to nurse for comfort as well if she feels a bit off for any reason.

ginmakesitallok · 27/12/2012 19:52

Babies cry. Babies very rarely starve. Babies who are g gaining weight are not starving. You sound like you are doing a great job, well done!

IveBeenGoodSantaIPromise · 27/12/2012 19:55

Oh poor you, difficult when dh doesn't understand and I get you can't help questioning yourself. But honestly if she is putting on weight there is no reason to suggest your milk isn't enough. I have a 16 week old and she definitely has some cry-ey days but more often than not its tiredness. She gets increasingly ratty if she hasn't napped properly. So I take her for a walk she has a good sleep and wakes up smiling!! I offer her boob every 2-3 hours or if she really seems to be asking for it but if she's been fed in the last hourish and has been awake for 2 hours or more its definitely sleep she needs not food. Maybe your dd is similar?

Original poster

FrillyMummy · 27/12/2012 20:09

Oh thank you so much. I guess he just doesn't have a clue. He thinks she should already be sleeping through the night!! Daft bugger. He does piss me off sometimes. He just doesn't have a clue!

I wonder if she is going through a growth spurt as she slept so much today.

OP posts:

debka · 27/12/2012 20:12

Hmmm... Would you like me to pop round and kick his unhelpful arse for you, FrillySis??

Original poster

FrillyMummy · 27/12/2012 20:16

DEBKA!!!!

OP posts:

debka · 27/12/2012 20:17

Aloha lovely one!!

Original poster

FrillyMummy · 27/12/2012 20:19

It makes me so angry that he has this thing about feeding.

I also wonder if he is jealous and wants to be able to feed her?!

Well. He doesn't have boobs so he can jog on!

OP posts:

IWipeArses · 27/12/2012 20:47

Sounds like you're doing really well. Don't ask his opinion on it while he's giving you undermining feedback.

It might be jealousy etc. or it might be he's worried about you being tired etc. and wanting to come up with a solution.

Babies feed a lot, and wake up in the night, and you're doing a good job.

zoobaby · 27/12/2012 22:09

My LO is being a right grumble bum it's almost always tiredness. Some days he just needs a little extra help to realise it. This means total night time sleep routine - dark room, swaddling, shushing noises, rocking/swaying, BF if needed. Basically the full Monty. He'll resist and fight it but once he gives in, you can feel the tensionleave his body.

zoobaby · 27/12/2012 22:15

Forgot to mention... hunger is my DP's default diagnosis for DS deviating from his usual cuteness. It's an easier solution than having to "work for" LO's contentedness.

IWipeArses · 27/12/2012 22:30

Well sometimes they are hungry a lot. The solution to that is to feed them. There is no magical 4 hour routine we're all aiming to get them to. Some days they'll want a feed every couple hours, some days it's every hour and so on and there's nothing wrong with that.
Tick off all the other possibles problems, nappy, too hot/cold, swaddling etc, but they love to be fed for comfort. It's good for them.

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