My standards have dropped. I'm no longer aiming for sleeping through the night, but I AM aiming for moe than a 2 hour stretch! Someone please help me...!

[maldivemoment]

So baby now 5 1/2 months and, despite all the reassurances, NOTHING HAS BLOODY WELL CHANGED! (sorry for my shouty voice).

She still cluster feeds in the evening, never sleeps more than 2 hours, constantly uses me as a dummy through the night, bla, bla, bla...

All this results in practically no sleep for me, I never have any time to myself (cue violins!), it's Christmas and I just want to have some crisps, a glass of wine and watch a movie ON MY OWN...arrggghhhhhh!

At this rate I think I'm heading for the loony bin! Anyone got any advice?

Is she EBF, and will she take a bottle? If so, I'd express a lot (a good 7oz - might take a few expresses throughout the day). Then BF her to sleep, give OH/mum/mate a bottle for when she wakes up, they can feed her, amuse her for another couple of hours, and then you should be able to get a good 4 hours.

Are you weaning her onto food yet?

I found that when ds was about 4 months I was so tired in the evenings I didn't have enough milk (I had a four year old and a toddler, and really wasn't well, and ds2 was very hungry).

I stopped feeding him between about 8 and 11 in the evening - I used to put the older two to bed, feed him and hand him to dh and go to bed myself for a couple of hours. dh used to joggle him, or take him for a walk, or anything, just to give me a break.

By the time I fed him again at about 11 I was rested, and had enough milk to give him a decent feed, which would carry him through until about 5.30 or 6 - which was when dd was getting up anyway. I still had disturbed sleep, but in a more structured way, iyswim.

Thank you Visualise

Yep, boobs-r-us!
Expressing requires a huge amount of effort from me for little in return. I'd have to pump for days to get 7oz! Not expressed for a good few months but might give it a go again - I'll try anything.

Thanks.

Have you tried hand expressing instead of using a pump. I used to get more that way. Also try and express as baby is latching on so that you make the most of let down reflex.

For the night time situation, I would work on getting baby to stop using you as a dummy. I used to do all kinds of contortions, where I would let him feed and fall asleep, then slowly move my body away and then unlatch him. Probably explains why I have such stretchy boobs now:) I did this for a few nights (probably weeks) but it seemed to help me get my nights back.

I found this book really helpful, it's non judgemental and non prescriptive and quite comforting.

www.amazon.co.uk/Sleep-Easy-Way-Peaceful-Nights/dp/1844037053/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1355477616&sr=1-1

Sorry if this is a dirty word but have you considered a dummy? Mine would still breastfeed and have dummy and the occasional bottle of formula when you are really desperate for the break shouldn't be a problem.

I agree bigyellowfish - either a dummy or a bottle of formula would be helpful too.

Re. expressing - express straight after feeding (if you've only fed on one side, express the other side), and first thing in the morning is always best for loads of milk.

How is her weight? Is she actually hungry in the night do you think?

How often and well does she feed and sleep in the day?

My son now 10 months and i rarely get more than 2 hrs during the night...he has no other way of settling. He was as you describe in the evenings too until about 6 months or so when I would feed him to sleep in bed then leave him and he gradually started sleeping a bit better in the evenings but it has been very gradual. I wish to goodness I had tried him with a dummy sooner than I did at 3 months because he would have nne of it by then. Sorry not much help, just to let you know you are not alone.

What are your sleeping arrangements? I moved dd to her own room at 6 months and the improvement in her sleep was vast..first night she slept for 6 hour stretch! We were obv waking each up

I did unlatching on and off a few times until finally asleep or unlatching then sitting up and singing, burping and gave sleepy toy. Slowly I reduced time of feeding until I just sat dd up and 'burped' sang etc. then would still wake but not need more than 1-2 short feeds a night. then stopped waking so much. Struggle to do this when tired though.

oh yes and through not our choice we co-sleep and i wake her a lot. Once i fell alsleep on landing outside door and she slept 8 hours! Though she used to be a good sleeper like that until 6 ish months when it became every 2 hours- I had also gone back to work so think she needed the milk at night.

My DD is the same, every 2 hours, sometimes less. It's a killer!

I'm blaming teething, developmental leaps and that I've just gone back to work - although knowing why doesn't really help much

We bed share and she won't entertain a dummy - she's got me!!!!! I'm not objecting to feeding her during the night but as soon as she so much as stirs she's looking for boobs to get her back to sleep.

She feeds frequently throughout the day - roughly every 2 hours - and is a terrible sleeper in daylight hours too. I try pretty much every day to put her in her cot and as soon as she makes contact with the mattress she's awake. If she's in the pram she sometimes nods off but I can never guarantee how long she'll sleep for - could be 10 mins, could be 2 hours!

Her weight gain is very good - never been an issue (50th centile)

She simply cannot go to sleep without me and I'm close to my wits end with sleep deprivation on an epic scale. Last night for example she woke 11pm, 1, 2, 4,5 . At the moment my morale is so low and I feel as if all these months of feeding on demand have got me a little boob-monster-velcro-baby! So do I have a few nights of handing her to husband while she's crying so she stops associating me with getting back to sleep or do I keep doing what I'm doing and hope that all will come good?

The past few days she has had 2 bottles (formula) and, if anything, she seems to be bloody worse....aarrghhhhhh (once again!)

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. It is very much appreciated.

All 3 of mine have been in their own rooms from the start, 2DDs slept 12 hours from 12 weeks, DS sleeps 11hours and has done from 7 weeks.

DS is 7 months, and if he slept in my bed I would imagine he would wake and want milk, he'd smell it! As it is he has learnt to wake and go back to sleep as he is not hungry.

She is just doing what she is used to, if you're not happy with it, I'd say you need to change it, put her in her own room, and I'd try really hard to get her in there in the day first maybe.

It sounds as if she gets enough to eat in the day, and really by now doesn't need feeding all night, but I suspect she isn't feeding because she is hungry anyway.

Okay op, just a suggestion, but could you try her in her own room??
We co slept till nearly 6 months but exceedingly dd went from waking every 4-5 hours.to waking nearly hourly and latching on, for whatever reason. I was too tired to care/notice
So my dp suggested trying dd in own room in cot. I was hugely against as i would have to get up to her a million times etc etc. My dd has never taken dummy or bottle . Well she pretty much slept thru from that night onwards. And i have always had moniter on Loud and i go to her as soon as she has stirred so i have never left her to grizzle etc. I think we were just waking each other up!!

Oh God, feekerry the thought of her in her own room gives me goosebumps! However, as stated previously, I'll give anything a try. Might need a few nights to mentally prepare myself mind you...

Thank you for all your replies.

Have you had her properly checked for tongue tie? 'cos needing to feed so frequently (and still cluster feed) might be a sign. It is often missed.

Also do you burp well (maybe more than once- dd still needs multiple burps), waking an hour after feeding can often be wind or reflux- too much milk in one go if baby is susceeptible (or has tongue tie!).

You could try holding dummy in for bit when sleepy? Or introduce it in happy day moments as a toy so she knows what to do with it. show her. unless you are against the idea althogether, as dummies can become pains themsleves.

Or try sitting your dd up for bit after feeding for milk to settle (legs bent in sitting position).

Putting her in her room, could work for you.

Set up sleep routine, bath,feed,burp, bed. (you are probably doing this anyway).

I used to swaddle mine , and put a drop of lavendar oil on her blanket, which used to keep us both calm. I am not sure if you are allowed to swaddle now though?

I used to play Norah Jones, whilst I was getting them into baby grow after bath. You are building associations between day and night.

Then put into cot and go, if she cries go back and settle but try not to offer milk, in theory she should be able to take enough calories now to last through the night,(unless she does need weaning?) Come out as quickly as possible.

I feel your pain, but it wont last for ever.

Another vote for putting her in own room. Sorry if it gives you the horrors! Made a massive difference with my DD. The trick then is to sit in a chair in her room and do a massive two-boob feed whenever she wakes in the night. Fully tank her and she might start to stretch longer at night. You might think 'but I'll get less sleep if I have to wake up properly to feed her' but I bet you anything it'll pay off very quickly.

Best of luck!

Absolutely agree Curtsey, a real effort in the first few weeks pays off very quickly!

Honestly op i was exactly the same about moving my dd into her own room. So much so i fell out with my dh about it as i KNEW it wouldn't work. I would be fully awake every two hours feeding her etc etc. Well, i felt like that until she slept till 4am that night!!!! Wow what a difference.
And i promise you i have never left her to even grunt a bit if i ever hear her on the monitor i go straight to her and tank her up again.
The first night in her own room i went to check her and it was so sweet as she was all sprawled out fast asleep as if to say "room at last!!!"