Do I give up BF?

[Gillyweed001]

My DS is 11 weeks old tomorrow, and I have been struggling with breast feeding. At the beginning, it was cracked nipples, and constantly worrying if I was doing it right. Recently, he spends less time on the breast, and screams blue murder if I go near him to try and get him to take more! I have gone to breast feeding clinics, spoken to helplines, and visited our local infant team. They think he is teething, so I've used bongela on him, which helped over the weekend. I went and got him weighed today, and he has gone from 12.3 last week to 12.8, so I was quite pleased. However, today he has slept more than usual, and although he has wet nappies, they aren't as heavy as usual. The breast feeding clinics have told me to top him up with formula if I'm worried. I just seem to be constantly worried about him getting enough, and its really stressing me out. I just want to enjoy my little boy! I have trouble expressing, as I cannot express enough to feed him. I don't know whether to just go into bottles, but what if its a terrible mistake? At the moment he does have a regular bottle of formula in the night that DH gives him, so I know he is fine on bottles. Has anyone else been in this situation?

[sleeplessinderbyshire]

my DD2 feeds for 5 mins tops in the day. she has one long snuggly feed at bedtime most days but really sees boob as a quick refuelling stop before she's off to have some more fun elsewhere. If i offer the breast again after she has detached herself she screams blue murder like I am killing her and will not relatch. often she feeds for 2 mins max. she is 21 weeks and ebf and a porky pudding happily growing along the 50th centile she's just a quick feeder. Her big sister is tiny and a stressed loads when she was a baby that she only ever fed for 10 mins max and usually 5-6 mins she has stayed on the 2nd centile since birth so was clearly just eating the right amouunt for her

[Gillyweed001]

He has started the whole screaming thing in the last couple of weeks. Now that I'm thinking about it, maybe its because he used to feed till he was asleep, and now he wants to feed, and carry on looking around.
He has had wet nappies today, its just some weren't particularly heavy.

[Gillyweed001]

narmada, thank you for taking the time to plot that, I really appreciate it

[narmada]

Very possibly. Babies get VERY distractable around four months.... he is just a bit advanced . DD's pattern went like this: feed for a microsecond, pull off, ooh, what's that briiiiiight thing, forget was ever hungry.... couple hours later screamingly hungry, feed for a nanosecond, pull off.... and so on.

[Gillyweed001]

That's kind of what he does! And I can't force him to eat. Must learn to go with the flow....

[Gillyweed001]

Sorry having a really wobbly day. DS barely feeding on breast still, and he now hasn't pooed for 2 days. I've just been in tears, as I am so stressed. DS is I'm front of me on his play mat though, kicking around, so can only assume he is fine? I know I keep answering my own questions, but its making me feel really ,miserable. He has slept a lot more during the day as well, which has now got my stupid brain thinking that he is sleepy because he hasn't fed enough....

[ThoughtsPlease]

My DS used to go for several days without doing a poo, are his nappies wet?

Has he been screaming today?

How long has he slept for and how did he sleep last night?

[Gillyweed001]

his nappies are wet, he is not screaming. He went to sleep at 9 last night, woke at 2:30, then 7:30. Today he has slept for an hour at 10, and then from 1:45-4:00. Normally he doesn't sleep at all in the day.

[narmada]

Is it possible he is coming down with something?

[ThoughtsPlease]

That sounds fine to me, 3 hours daytime sleep, and a good night.

He's not screaming, and you say he seems happy, how many feeds has he had today?

[Gillyweed001]

He fed for about 10 mins at 8, then has had about 4 under 5 minute feeds throughout the day. He was on the breast for about 20 mins at 1pm, but he was asleep, so don't think he was feeding for all that time. At 5 I offered him the breast, which he refused, but he took 50ml of ebm. I currently am doing skin to skin with him. I'm probably overtired, and over analysing issues that aren't there. I just love him so much, and just want to make sure he is OK.

[LaCiccolina]

He still sounds pretty normal and his pattern reasonable against ur previous posts. Bf babes can go up to a couple of weeks between poos. The milk digestion is so efficient there's nothing left to poo, it's normal bf baby behaviour.

Actually his sleep sounds quite good for u. Are u taking time to rest when he does? Are u overdoing it? Look I don't want to suggest anything as I'm no doctor, but are u both getting air? Going for walks? The excercise releases hormones that bouys moods. I know it's cold but u might both benefit. PND can also come on months after birth. It's fine to be worried and nervous as the first few months are nothing but pressure, just look after urself as well as ur beautiful babe.

[Gillyweed001]

I go out for at least a walk each day, as I would go crazy being sat in all day! I know I need to just relax, but as I've said before, I'm a natural worrier, and had CBT for it a couple of years ago. Right, I'm going to have a word with myself, and try not to stress. Thank you again for replying, sorry I keep going on!

[ThoughtsPlease]

He gains weight ok, he's slept well, he has fed regularly, although you think not for very long, but he seems happy. I think he sounds fine, but I'm not a doctor, just another mum.

Just wondered why you gave him a bottle of expressed milk when he didn't want the breast? How long was it from trying to breastfed before giving him the bottle?

[ThoughtsPlease]

By the way your last comment about loving him so much, was lovely.

[Gillyweed001]

Thanks thoughts! I tried to breast feed him, and after he only fed for only a little time, I offered him the bottle straight away, as he was still fussing, but not taking the breast from me. I know I am probably worrying over nothing, I just can't help myself.

[Seriouslysleepdeprived]

My DS would go 9-10 days with out a poo between 3 & 6 months. I really miss those days! He goes all the time again now he's on solids.

The biggest thing I've learnt about babies it that they change all the time. Occasionally they'll sleep longer, shorter, not at all. Eat more or less on some days than others. I guess we are all like that when we think about it.

Did you find your CBT helpful? Can you use any of it to manage your anxiety a bit?

[VisualiseAHorse]

11 weeks - probably time for his 12 week growth spurt. Babies can go a bit funny around growth spurts times. Just keep trying!

(And well done for getting to 11 weeks!!)

[Gillyweed001]

Of course, he has now just fed for 30 minutes on one side, and is now on the other! I have been trying my techniques, will just have to try harder

[Seriouslysleepdeprived]

It takes a long time to in grain new ways if thinking & that's without the added pressure of the baby brain! Sounds like you are doing a great job & I'm still v envious of your good sleeper

[Gillyweed001]

Thanks seriously. How long does your DC sleep for? Guess by your name, not a lot

[Curtsey]

OP, is it possible that your milk supply has calmed down a bit now that he's 11 weeks old - and that he is indignant that the milk's not coming as fast as he's used to? Would explain why he's happy to take the bottle instead of having to work a bit harder at the boob.
Next time you're feeding him and he starts to fuss and scream, could you try to get up and, holding him in your arms, walk around jiggling him or patting his bum while he feeds. Sometimes that has the effect of pacifying them enough so that they calm down and suck.

Just a thought, because this is what happened with my DD.

[ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings]

I can't add anything sensible that hasn't already been said but please do trust your instincts!! Also this website is fantastic for explaining the ins and outs.

Keep it up, you're doing great!!

[Seriouslysleepdeprived]

It varies really Gilly just when I think I've cracked it something else happens - illness, crawling, teeth, food allergy & it goes to pot again! There is a lot of positive thinking and CBT techniques going on here!!

[midori1999]

Ok...

His weight gain is good, in fact he's climbing centimes, so it's very good. His nappy output is good. He seems happy most of the time and is active and alert with periods of sleep. He is meeting developmental milestones.

That all sounds pretty good to me.

Babies can/do get fractious at times, especially around your DS's age as they start to notice the world around them more and get a bit conflicted about wanting to look around and wanting to feed. Sadly, we can't always work out why they get upset, but it sounds to me like the BF is going great.

Do you know anyone who is breast feeding? Can you get to a support group or some of the LLL meetings? Maybe chatting to other BF Mums would help build your confidence?