Stopping breastfeeding after 27 months and feeling very sad :(

[vix206]

I don't really know what I'm expecting in response to this, but I'm hoping maybe some words of comfort. I don't really have many people I can talk to about this. Apologies in advance for the length.

DS (27 months) went away for the night on Saturday so had his last feed on Saturday morning. He's been down to 2 feeds a day (morning and bed time) since he was 12 months old. Anyway, when I got him back yesterday I thought I might try and see if I could get him down to sleep without a feed, so DH tucked him in and he went to sleep no problem at all. I sat downstairs weeping! This morning he asked for 'milkies' but I gently explained to him that it had all gone, because he had done such a good job at drinking it all. He didn't kick up a fuss and happily went straight to breakfast.

He seems absolutely fine with it so far, he's a bit more cuddly than usual but otherwise no difference. I, on the other hand, feel absolutely awful.

My reason for stopping like this was just that having missed two feeds I was already engorged and feeling a bit woozy, and I thought I may as well just carry on rather than go through this all again in the very near future. I've never had a set idea of when I would stop, it started off at 6 months - then a year - and then became open-ended.

I just feel like I am grieving the loss of something really special, and added to this I am terrified because every time I dropped feeds in the past I was hit with an all consuming hormonal crash that made me depressed for months. My only comfort is that this time I will feel more able to seek medical help (i.e. meds) if I get really low again.

Half of me really wants to just feed him now, relieve my physical pain and get that closeness that I already miss so much. But he seems fine, and I do think for him now is as good a time as any. If I fed him it would be purely selfish on my part, and having felt so rough for the past 36 hours it would make that all in vain. I just feel so sad to be at the end of such a special time, he will probably be our only DC. Sat here in tears as I type. Just wondered if anyone can give me any encouragement or words of wisdom?

TIA

It's a good age to stop and how wonderful if done without protest. My two daughters whom I fed to 20 and 28 months are still very snuggly so you will not lose the closeness. My youngest likes to nestle her head on my boob and pat my 'tummy' ;). I am feeling a bit sad as selling my baby wrap/carrier and sad I won't use it again so know how you feel.

Is there anything you can do to prevent emotional crash? x

Thanks so much for replying. I'm taking Starflower Oil and Agnus Castus as they did ease it last time.

Awww vix, your post made me smile so much for what you have achieved and ache for you too. I love feeding my DS (only 17 weeks) and can only imagine how you must feel. Make sure you get lots of cuddles and feel incredibly proud of what you have given your DS xx

vix hope your doing ok..keep gently checking for blocked ducts, that can make you feel down and woozyness could be a sign of that. Your body was obv very efficiently making him lots of milk - maybe thats why it is hard for you when dropping feeds?

Thanks both for your support, sticking it out. Been awake since 3 and DS woke at 5.30 so today will be powered by caffeine! He settled without me last night but asked for milk (and had a little cry) when I said no this morning. I'm sorry to say I cried too but blamed it on being tired and DH distracted him so I'm ally hoping he didn't realise the reason for my tears.

I just feel so sad, and so guilty. I don't know why I feel so guilty!

Physically feeling less engorged so that's good.

Oh and Clumsasaurus I'm so glad you a enjoying breastfeeding as much as I did :)

*are not a. Sorry I'm on an iPad and it never keeps up with my quick typing

Ugh really engorged again. Didn't think I'd suffer this much having only fed twice a day for the past year.

Awww your post made me feel sad but your doing really well and all is breast feeders are going to be in your exact position that's your in one day and I'm sure we will all feel the same . It will get easier but it's so hard when something so enjoyable comes to an end. But try and look to the future now you can have your boobies back to yourself

Hi, it has been 6 days now and I feel much better. No physical pain anymore, and I don't feel as sad. DS is settling fine at night, still asks me every morning but accepts my explanation that he drank it all and it has all gone, and moves on without any upset :)

I still miss it, but I feel ver positive about moving on to the next stage and I am proud of my DS for coping so well without something he absolutely loved for so long!

In a few weeks, once I know what I'm left with (!), I am taking myself shopping for some new bras.

Ooh, go to Rigby and Pellar and buy at least one gorgeous bra. This is what I'm planning to do when/if 18mo DS ever stops bfing. You deserve it!

I'm on my phone so link won't work but if anyone reads this in the same situation I would highly recommend this little 2 page article:

geoparent.sheknows.com/articles/203/Life-after-weaning-Ending-the-breastfeeding-relationship

After much trawling of the web I found this to be full of gems and very comforting

Glad things are looking so much more positive vix, will have a look at that article :)