Bf not going well, Dh not coping with dc3

[ticklebug74]

I don't know what to do. Dc3 is 6 weeks old and off to a slow start. Only regained birth weight at 4 weeks and then only put on 6oz in the last fortnight. Has never pooed regularly but has plenty of wet nappies.

She is so far proving the most challenging of our 3, I can't put her down, ever. Will only fall asleep when walking in the pram and as soon as you stop for a second she wakes. She also feeds constantly. There is never an wnd to her feed unless I end it or she falls asleep. She generally does not seem a happy baby which makes me sad, but she will have awake calm time in my arms.

With two other dc to look after and a lovely head cold I am exhausted, but that is to be expected, and i was determined to breastfeed. Dc1 was mixed fed and sc2 ebf but was hard work.

However, Dh, who mind you is sleeping in the spare room, is getting increasingly frustrated each evening when she won't settle and seems to think a bottle will solve it.

I am now thinking it will probat be best for our family as I won't be so tired, Dh will be happy, more time for dc, and dc3 will put on more weight. Bf just doesn't seem easy for me and my babies struggle with breast and nipple size (size 32L nursing bras that are still too small)

Am at rock bottom and not enjoying what should be a happy time with our precious last baby!!!!

Help!!!

6 weeks was my turning point: where things started getting easier. I still had evening cluster feeds, but they became manageable with a couple of hours of TV at that point. Can your DH settle the other DC whilst you feed the baby?

The important question is really does BF generally make her happy? If she is happy when on the breast then do you want to risk changing to something that will make her less happy?

And do you find bottles or breast easier? Presuming you are at home with LO all day and your DH is only there in the evening then you finding feeding her easier is more important than him.

You could try it? Do a mixture of both? I tried to bf all three of mine, but they slept longer and were much more settled on the bottle - think I had enough milk - it just was not 'nutritious' enough..
Having three is stressful enough, I personally would do whatever it takes for an easier ride ....
I expect your DH is frustrated as there is not alot he could do, at least with the bottle he can help and get involved??
I am a bf fan if it works, but I think there is alot of undue pressure placed on Mum's when there are other avenues to be explored.
Hope it all works itself out and you feel better soon.

Sounds exhausting, as others have said I would give a bottle a go, perfectly possible to do both, depending on the LO's frame of mind. Your DD sounds much like mine, she just wasn't a very happy baby, nightmare to get to sleep, just wanted to be on me the whole time. Do you have a sling, a really good, comfy one that you can pop her. The reason why I am replying though is because I also have v large breasts, same size as you when breast feeding. I did find it really difficult initially with DC1 but once established it was fine, and the same with DC 2 so just wanted to say it is possible although I know it is hard to begin with. I used to feed them in what a think is called a rugby tackle hold, which seems bizarre now I write it down, basically with their body round the side of you. I also co-slept as I couldn't get DD to settle otherwise. Hope things get better for you soon, if you google breast feeding, large breasts more useful tips should come up.

Have you talked to a breast feeding counsellor? Please do. It could be that a small change to your latch means she can feed more easily and gets more milk.

What a difficult situation OP, it sounds exhausting for all of you.

It sounds to me as if your LO is not feeding very effectively, hence the very long feeds, not wanting to be put down, and slow weight gain. Could you get some help from a breastfeeding counsellor? If she help you with the latch (and who knows, there may be something like a tongue tie which needs to be looked at) then all of these issues are likely to resolve themselves.

What does your health visitor say?

I would maybe consult with someone from la leche league/a bf consultant/bf peer supporter and see if there's anything you can do to make feeding any easier (different positions etc - the rugby ball hold was a good one for me). Could DH settle the other DC until bf is more established?

I think ultimately you have to go with whatever works best for you (as individuals and as a family), but I know several people who did struggle until about the 6 week mark. After that things seemed to settle, bf was more established. It was frustrating for DH when we hit problems about 3 months in when DS would cluster feed from 8pm-2am then continue to wake every 1.5-2 hours, and I was exhausted. He helped me more by taking over other jobs in the house, and he was always chief burper of DS (I could never get wind up as well as he could!) In the end it was yet another phase and it didn't last.

We got to a point at about 10 months where we replaced a nighttime bf with a bottle so DH could give me a break as DS was still waking multiple times at that point, so that is something you can consider. Hope you find a solution that works for you

Thank you all for the kind replies. You think I would crack this breastfeeding third time around. Think I will pop into a breast feeding clinic this week. Given her really bad wind and lack of poos she may well have tongue tie. Have agreed with Dh to keep bf until Xmas and if he still feels strongly that it is affecting the family we will discuss introducing bottles and doing mixed feeding. Got the pump out at the ready .....

Not judging any decisions to bf/mix feed/whatever but just to say conors that your milk will definitely have been nutritious enough. It will have been much more nutritious than formula - the difference is that formula is digested more slowly (bm is digested v easily which is one of the reasons it is better for the baby).

Anyway not much help to the OP - hope you find your solution - but it makes me sad that there are so many misconceptions surrounding bf.