I think 16mo DD might be weaning herself

[GotMyGoat]

I'm feeling really sad tonight. I always breastfeed dd before bed, it's her only feed in the day usually, and it's lovely cuddly time for us.

Tonight she didn't want me :( she had a tiny suckle and then turned over to cuddle her teddy, I kept offering but she wasn't interested so I left it at that.

I know that in the past month my milk has gone really salty, as i'm not feeding frequently - but it's not been too much of an issue so far, though I have noticed feeds getting shorter and shorter.

Is this the end? I was hoping to feed to 2yrs at least, now that I know about the WHO guidelines - especially as dd has eczema and is dairy intollerant, but I can't make her feed. Or is it more likely to be a phase?

Ow, bless you. To be honest I don't know but I just wanted to say I hope it is just a phase :-)

Thank you :)

It's such a funny feeling - she's just so independent now! I've always fed on demand, so it's very odd not to be demanded.

I'd just go with it if I were you. 16m is a good run. If she doesn't care for it anymore it's probably run its course. Ds gave up at 20mo in the same way, lost interest. I was sad at the time but glad to get my body back!

Keep offering and don't worry if it's refused. Is she still settling well at night?

She's settling fine, cuddled up to her 'dog'. Guess i'll wait and see what happens tomorrow.

Hmmmmm my last message bit insensitive. Sorry. My personal view is you've done really well to get to 16m & I don't think you should get too hung up on supposed health benefits of extending bf. Its psychologically better for your dd to self wean whenever that night be.

It didn't seem insensitive at all Zen - sorry realise that my message sounded a bit short with you, i'm just sleepy :)

It was always my intention to feed as long as dd wanted to - I'm just surprised as I expected that to be when she was 2 or 3, I wasn't prepared for this!

Poor you, it must be hard, but you've done an amazing thing getting this far, and enabling your dd to self-wean. As hard as ending this phase may be, hold on to the fact that for her it's been completely organic and non-traumatic, which is as good an end as one can hope for.

aww, thanks Skiffen. that's nice :)

I'm ok, DH has given me chocolate

What do you mean that your milk has gone salty through infrequent feeding? I've never heard anyone mention this before?

(DS is only coming up for 4 months, so I'm a bit clueless about nursing older babies/toddlers but want to keep myself informed as I also imagine feeding to 2)

DT1 did the same at 14mo and I was really surprised. Kept offering DT2 for another month and then saw the potential to leave them with gps and have a night away with DH! I was sad though, and still look back and wish we had kept it up for longer. Feel for you.

Spiritedwolf-if you don't empty the milk in your breast regularly it goes salty, I think it's to work as a preservative. It's quite common when feeding toddlers, but not talked about a lot because not everyone tastes their milk :)

So now that I only feed once a day, it's salty.

so she did feed a tiny bit monday night, she didn't feed last night again though, will keep offering every night for a while though.

Funny you should say that 1stMrs - Me and DH are going away for a night mid december, So am please she won't need me to get to sleep.

Hi GotMyGoat, I completly sympathise, my DD self weaned at 16 months and she was a complete boob monster. It was completly out of the blue one day when she pointed to the fridge and said "Dat milk" meaning cows milk and she never asked to bf again .

However we are now 6 months down the line and actually I am really happy with what to me felt like a very natural end to bf'ing

Madame J, that sounds lovely. It is so natural. I'm amazed that this baby who used to want to feed every 40 mins is ok without the boob.

I'll just be sad when people ask me (for the millionth time) "are you still feeding that baby?" and I'll say no.

Thank you all for offering your sympathies.