Mom to be, am i right to try and BF like this? HELP

[diddle]

I am due to me a mom for the first time in June.
I am hoping to breastfeed, but i want my husband to help out with the feeds sometimes as well.

I was hopeing to feed baby during the day myself, and express some milk so i can give it one bottle a day, before bedtime, then DH can do that feed. Then baby will be used to taking my milk from me or a bottle, and a couple of nights a week DH can take over the feeding completely.

Is this a realistic idea??

You should be able to do this, although make sure that you have BF up and running nicely before introducing the bottle.
I tried it, but always had problems expressing enough.

Hiya hun,
Yes it is. Dp did this with ds2. I would go to bed around 9ish and he would bottle feed my ebm at 11. This meant that I managed to get a few hours solid sleep before the next feed (which i did).
It's a great way for the fathers to bond aswell.

fab - thanks, can't wait to start

I did it with my second baby (dh away and moving house) but make sure you get your supply up and sorted before even thinking about it.
I'd give it at least 6-8 weeks.
Seek advice and support the whole time.
Good luck.

Prolactin levels are highest at night.

Who wants to faff about warming a bottle at night when you are all warm and snuggly in bed.

By all means let dh have a go - but maybe not at night initially.

Oh and him having a go - means washing all the bottles, breastpump parts and teats, or else how are you getting a rest?

Well said 3bob!

I'm with threebob on this (especially if in the first few months) - it is a lot easier than you think to breastfeed at night and a lot harder to bottlefeed at night! Night feeds are the most difficult to replace as the baby seems to want to feed most frequently then, they have the most effect on milk supply - also you may get less sleep than you think as your boobs will be bursting! Milk supply is very much based on supply and demand and if your baby isn't suckling to ask for it, your body won't make it for next time. I would let your DH give EBM earlier on the evening and have a really good rest (if you're not able to nap). For bf to be successful I think you have to devote yourself to it completely for the first couple of months then your supply will be established. By all means try a few bottles of EBM but use them more as a complement/stop gap than to replace a regular feed. If you are doing it to get a rest - get DH to do more housework/cooking and if you are doing it for him to bond, maybe do it another time when your baby is not so sleepy/unsettled. s/he may not take a bottle then from anyone else. I know it seems like a good idea but bf and bottlefeeding are so fundamentally different it is difficult to do both in the early days. (dare I say it, this is where certain baby experts - mentioning no names! - don't know their arse from their elbow) I know myself from feeding 4 babies that once you start introducing regular (rather than occasional) bottles it all goes pear-shaped! I don't think your body can cope with big gaps between feeds. Some people do seem to manage it but I wonder if it's worth the hassle (expressing and sterilising are a pain - I did it for 9months with ds1) - the baby might sleep for 12 hours but you won't! Once you have bf established it's so easy for both of you, - you barely have to get out of bed. Big tip - get a bedside cot!

Good luck whatever you decide to do :)

I introduced a bottle for dh to give at about 3 weeks, apparantly it shouldn't alter the way the baby will suckle at the breast after having a teated bottle but like Moondog and Spagblog say, make sure you have established the bf well first before you do. I think my problem was that, although I thought I had cracked it, I hadn't given myself or ds long enough getting it right on the breast before I gave him a bottle and then we encountered problems again with bad positioning and ds not latching on correctly. This ultimately led to me hating every minute of bf as I felt like I had gone back to square one so don't let this happen to you.

I wish somebody had warned me just how much of an art bf is. I was expecting it to be a breeze, and to feel this wonderful sense of love whilst doing it and expected to bf for a very long time. This, for me, wasn't the case and I felt so guilty and upset about everything. Don't get me wrong, I am very much for bf but if you are faced with problems then get advice from here/midwife etc and people will reassure you just how wonderfully you are doing to get as far as you get/got. When I had problems people tried to remind me that if I could make it through the shitty part and get the correct support from the midwife then I would eventually feel all the things I thought I would about bf (I unfortunately gave in when I got mastitis ).

Sorry gone off on a tangent

My dh was very involved with night feeds despite the fact that I was exclusively breastfeeding. He would bring the baby to me, I would then feed baby while only half awake, dh would then get up and sort baby out (ie. winding, changing etc) and put him back to bed. I think I got the better part of the deal

I did this from about 4-5 weeks old

At about 8pm I expressed some milk - left it in a bottle and dh fed it to ds between 10-11pm depending when he had last fed or if he woke up.

Pros for us

1 for a few weeks I got to sleep from 9pm - whenever ds woke - usually about 2am-3am - so 4-5 solid hours sleep before needing to feed again
2 dh loved giving that bottle
3 I occasionally (maybe once every 3 weeks) left the bootle I had expressed if I wanted to go out for a couple of hours, though if I did this then we didn't give a bottle at night. The rule was one bottle maximum a day
4 I bought a playtex system bottle so didn't need to sterilise anything except the pump and bottle teat.

The main problems were

1 At first getting enough milk out for a feed was really difficult - some nights I didn't get anything though over a few weeks that improved.

2 - expressing became a real pfaff and I hated it

3 - At about 8 weeks old ds started to take longer and longer to drink the bottle - dh was taking over an hour to feed him at the same time my feeding sessions were getting shorter.

4 Dh was sometimes taking so long to feed and settle ds he was getting him down at midnight and ds was starting to wake again at 1am. This was not enough sleep for me to make the expressing worth it.

By about 4 months old I gave up on the bottle in the evening as it was more trouble than it was worth. Dh never did night feeds after 11pm as I wanted to maintain my supply as much as possible.

What we did instead was 1-2 nights a week when dh wasn't going to work he would get up and get ds when he cried, bring him to me. I'd feed him, then dh would take him change the nappy and resettle him. This was great as settling ds in the early months always took at least an hour usually longer. With the nappy change that is necessary in the early days and the fact that he never fell asleep on the breast, this did make my nights much better. Also dh got good at soothing ds so that when we decided to try and drop night feeds at about 9/10 months old - dh got up with ds for a few days and although ds cried he was used to being soothed by dh in the night so I was nowhere near as worried by the crying as I would have been otherwise.

Yes, for night feeds you stay in bed and get yourself comfy, dh brings you the baby and you stay all warm and snuggly - which relaxes your baby more. Dh can then nap whilst you feed, and you can decide if you want to return the baby yourself or wake him up.

Just wanted to add that the daddy does not need to feed the baby in order to bond with him/her. My dp has only occasionally given ds a bottle of ebm, and it has in no way hindered their relationship. Ds loves his daddy There are so many other ways to bond with your child - your dh can carry him around, bathe him, sing to him, etc.. and as the others have said, you may find expressing a lot of hard work for little gain.

Good luck for June

Dh has never fed ds, he has never had a bottle and now he is 3 they are as close as close can be. I fed him to 2.5, so he's "supposed" to be all mummies boy and clingy

But I have to give him credit for all the times he got up in the night, and all the bathing (ds has excema so it's a big deal) which is still his job (so more useful long term than holding a bottle for 10 minutes a day), and having long conversations about the moon, insects, railway tracks etc.

diddle - instead of getting DH to help you feed the baby, get him to help YOU eat and rest !

My DH did all the cooking and washing up for weeks after DS was born while I sat in front of TV bfeeding little DS - 22 months on he still does a lot of the housework !

Make sure you get your supply up before any expressing. Best way to get supply up is to get baby to suckle.

Good luck !

Diddle, what you are suggesting is exactly what I did and I can't recommend it enough. Although breastfeeding has a lot of benefits, it does mean you are tied to the baby and feel you have no life of your own for the first few months, and this is one way of clawing back a little bit of time for you.

I would express every night at 10pm while watching the news on TV, and my dh would then wake the baby at 10.30-11pm to give him the bottle. We never had to warm it up because it had only just been expressed.

The benefits were, firstly more time for me to rest. I could go to bed earlier than I could have done if I was giving this feed by breastfeeding, and it was no hardship to express while watching TV. Also, ds got used to a bottle so later on I could have a morning off if I left expressed breast milk for him. And it was useful bonding time for dh - I accept the comments of other people on this thread about bonding by fathers and I don't think it was necessary for dh to have this time, but it really helped as it was the only time in a weekday that dh saw ds at all.

I would start doing it within the first 3-4 weeks. If you leave it after 6 weeks, your baby will probably refuse a bottle.

Oooh, you're very organised diddle, thinking about this so early.
We did this from about 2 months, and it worked well for us. Ds had occasional bottles of expressed milk from about 5 weeks to get him used to taking a bottle. I think the usual advice is not to give a bottle before then as it may cause problems with breastfeeding.

I found another advantage with giving a bottle at 10 or 11pm was that when I tried breastfeeding ds before I went to bed he was too zonked to feed, but he would down a bottle without really waking up, and then sleep a longish stretch afterwards.

Lots of people seem to have problems expressing, so you may just need to see how it goes. I started off with a pump which worked OK but found the cleaning and sterilising a bit of a pain. Tried hand expressing and once I had got the hang of it found this much more convenient.

Although it's good to think of these things I don't think you can really know what you want to do until you have the baby, lot's of mum's never give bottles and are very happy with this approach. By the time you get to this stage you might feel differently.
Hope it all goes well for you

i did this with 3 out of my four - breastfed exclusively for 3 weeks then introduced bottle at 10 -11pm at night then Id do the middle of the night feed(s) breast feeding lying down in bed. Id go to bed at 9 and leave dh to get on with it so I git 4 -5 hours sleep .i also used formula at that bottle as never got good amonuts expressing and after 2nd baby never seemed to have the time - also found this allowed me to be freer if i was asked out occasinally as didnt have to woory about expressing enough to last baby. some people get on well with expressing _ inever did. greart idea to get baby to take a bottle though - ibreastfed all mine to a year though sure this was partly because I knew I could have abreak if I needed it

Agree with tutti frutti - I also did this - it was great. It gives you a break and although it might not be a 'bonding' experience for the baby with your DH, it might be for your DH if you see what I mean.
I actually often used a bottle for the night feed (2am ish), which DH did so that I could get some decent sleep and just kept it cool then warmed it in a lindam warmer - took about 30 seconds.
I did this from about 2 or weeks old.
It also useful to get your baby used to a bottle if you want to take a milk out with you. (it's not always easy to find somewhere to discreet to get your boobs out!)

I have done this from day 1 as i had initial probs with milk and had to express in hosp, i just figured that i might as well carry on with the expressing once home. Ive always seemed to have plenty of milk (once it appeared) so no probs with supply. I am still doing this at 4 mths and love the mental break it gives you...in the early weeks i also expressed a bottle if going out as was not confident feeding in public. Personally gave him the bottle on the early eve feed as found it was easier just to do it myself in the night...DH can help by getting baby up and putting him down afterwards also so that you literally only feed...this was a big help. I found bf difficult at times so the fact that for one feed i had the option of a bottle was heaven.

I found the avent hand pump great..more effective than an electric one i was lent...

Yep we did this too. This is what worked for us.

I would feed ds at about 7 then DH would put him to bed upstairs, I would go to bed and DH would feed him about 10 with an expressed bottle and then I'd do the night feeds - although I did all of it get up fed in other room in dark and changed nappies - much prefer the DH get's baby and brings it to you in bed and then sorts out winding and changing idea, might have to suggest.

I did this from the day we brought DS back from the hospital, although this time I will probably give it a couple of weeks to get my milk supply established first. Had no problems with nipple confusion.

Hope it goes well :) and enjoy it.

I did something similar with both my 2, from about 2 weeks each time. I would start it as soon as feeding is established, as some babies don't take to a bottle very well. We didn't do it every night though, baby had a bottle of ebm once every couple of days, then on a Friday night I went to bed at 7 pm in the spare room with earplugs, and had a full 12 hours sleep, while DH did the night feeds. Yes you do wake up with enormous boobs, but I could always express off one feed and still have enough left to feed DS as well. Also agree re. partner getting/changing/winding baby, I had SPD so getting in and out of bed was a nightmare with DD, so DH had to do this most of the time for the first few weeks. He slept while I was feeding though, and barely woke to do the fetching and carrying so his nights were not too disturbed. Whatever you do hope it goes well.

Hiya, wow time has flown by hasnt it, glad things are going well for you-not long now!!
On this subject, I gave ds2 ebm for a week when he was 6 days old as he made my nipples bleed and I knew if i continued to feed him off them, I may give up as it was soooooo bloody painful, I was expressing for EVERY feed that he would otherwise had and he was having ebm out of a syringe. After that week and after my nipples had somewhat healed he went back to the breast and fed normally without any problems.
At about 3 weeks I started giving him 2 or 3ozs of ebm from a dinky feeder, not for any real reason, just so he got used to having the occasional bottle, I would then b/f him afterwards if he was still hungry.

I would say that your dh taking over feeding completely for a few nights a week is probably unrealistic, I think your find that (A) your supply will suffer (B)The baby may get lazy(as its much easier/much less work for a baby to bottlefeed than breastfeed) and then reject breastfeeding.

I would say, yes it can work to do it before 6 weeks, but would say that its a good idea to only give a few onces then feed after if still hungry(or the other way round, whichever you prefer), this way baby is still suckling and still stimulating your supply.

Also be aware that giving the odd bottle can become a habit then if you dont set rules(as a pp said, only 1 a day or something) for instance, i started giving a bit occasionally-2/3 times a week, then i started giving a bottle in the evening, then 2, then my supply started to suffer and I had to work hard to bring it back up to what it was.

At the end of the day, do what works for you
hth somewhat, good luck

Just a thought, but instead of your dp giving an evening feed why not have him feed baby in the morning so you can stay in bed longer. Imagine you're in bed at 10ish, dp is feeding baby, baby inevitablty cries. The downside of being a mum is you hear every noise your baby makes. If they're crying, you'll lie there listening to it. Hardly restful! Why not feed baby yourself during the night (much better for your supply) & when they wake at 6-7am, get dp to take baby downstairs to do the feed & he can then spend an hour feeding/playing which will give you more rest, IMO.

Good luck.