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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

worried about breastfeeding 2yr old in public

25 replies

Adorabelle · 03/04/2006 17:35

1st post ever,realy appriciate all your advice My dd is 22months,still feeds quite often in day,both v.happy with situation.Usualy feed her wherever we are &has never been a problem But going to U.S.A to visit dh parents &know his mum will be uncomfortable about feeding dd in pubic.Dd not used to being refused &wil scream,Loudly!,if not fed. What should i do? Thanx for listening.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 03/04/2006 17:36

What should you do? Feed her!

spidermama · 03/04/2006 17:39

It's not your problem, it's your MIL's. Don't take it on for her. Just you carry on doing what you know is right for you and your dd.

... and well done to you.

Original poster

Adorabelle · 03/04/2006 17:39

Thank you very much soupdragon have had a few friends say i shouldnt feed her if its going to make dh mum feel uncomfortable

OP posts:

Original poster

Adorabelle · 03/04/2006 17:40

Cheers spidermama!

OP posts:

motherinferior · 03/04/2006 17:40

NONE of her business. None whatsoever.

Original poster

Adorabelle · 03/04/2006 17:44

think just a little bit aprahensive cos she is getting big now &some people really do think its wierd to be feeding an older child. I still see her as my baby though

OP posts:

Greensleeves · 03/04/2006 17:45

I sympathise, I found breastfeeding in public quite difficult, especially when people reacted badly or family members weren't supportive. I made myself do it on principle.:) I would advise you to feed her as you normally would, and try not to feel pressurised by others/your MIL's attitudes - but I do know it's not easy!

Original poster

Adorabelle · 03/04/2006 17:45

think just a little bit aprahensive cos she is getting big now &some people really do think its wierd to be feeding an older child. I still see her as my baby though

OP posts:

Original poster

Adorabelle · 03/04/2006 17:52

Thank you for all your supportive views,made me feel alot happier about feeding her. Will let her have her "num nums" &his mum will have to cope,it's only for a week after all!

OP posts:

Greensleeves · 03/04/2006 17:53

His mum should be delighted that her granddaughter is being so well looked after!

FrannyandZooey · 03/04/2006 18:05

Adorabelle, I feel uncomfortable breastfeeding ds (nearly 3) in front of some family members and I usually just say something like "excuse me I'll just take him upstairs for a minute" and go to another room. Whether or not they know what is going on, I don't know. If I utterly don't want the person to know, I would pretend to be going to change his nappy.

I do feel it's something that we should be able to do wherever we want, but I also know that I am sensitive to other people's comments and don't want ds to pick up on anyone's disapproval either. I don't have a problem doing it in public generally, and have breastfed in the Albert Hall [proud], but sometimes people who feel they have a stake in your child through their blood relationship can be quite brutal with their comments.

Best of luck with it :)

moondog · 03/04/2006 18:09

You go for it Adorabelle.
I fed mine quite happily anywhere for 30 mths.
People would rather see a quier contented baby than a frustrated screaming one.
You go girl!

teacups · 03/04/2006 19:26

Go for it Adorabelle! Whilst I would normally say "sod 'em" and feed as and when my DD needs, I think Franny has a good point. It's your comfort and DD's which matter. I fed DD ( a year old tomorrow) in John Lewis mother and baby room yesterday to the obvious horror of 2 mothers of newborns in the room... I don't know them and so don't let their feelings affect me, but I do feed DD upstairs when my parents are around, as they have thought DD should be off the boob from about 6 months.

Good luck with your trup and welcome to mumsnet

Original poster

Adorabelle · 03/04/2006 21:50

Really pleased i (finally!) put out my 1st message on mumsnet,been reading it for a while &always wanted to post but never had a question/answer to give but now i have! All your comments have been a great help,also spoke to dh &he thinks my MIL will just have to deal with us feeding &so will all the the other Americans who 'May' have a problem with it. Will carry on feeding my LO in public for as long as both of us feel comfotable with it.Anyone else fed/feeding an older toddler while out&about?I still feed anywhere ¬ had any adverse reactions &shes quite a tall nearly 2yr old

OP posts:

agalch · 03/04/2006 22:22

Fed my huge ds2 out and about till he was 2.5 yrs and still would feed dd 20 months if i had to.DD not really feeding during the day as im pg and milk not so plentiful now.If not pg i would have no probs feeding outside or in front of family.It's their problem if they are uncomfortable with it.Go for it,you are a good mummy doing the best for your little girl.

chipmonkey · 03/04/2006 22:57

Nothing to add except to reiterate what the Wise Ones have said but I have to say I LOVE your posting name. Dh and I used to joke that if ds1 was a girl we would call her Adorabella!

jellyjelly · 04/04/2006 08:54

I would like to see more babies being fed breastmilk. It makes me proud to be female and a mother.

I say feed as much as you both like but you might like to practice your stares or comments to fmaily so they know not to criticize/comment.

I always liked 'when will you finish breastfeeding?' 'in about 10 mins!' Knowing full well what they mean.

Hausfrau · 04/04/2006 09:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

footprint · 04/04/2006 16:01

Just wanted to add my voice to the "Go for it" chorus!

I sometimes feel embarrassed feeding my 22 month old in public, but once I begin, we're both so content in our own little world, everyone else fades away. Have also had some amazingly nice comments from perfect strangers!

ruty · 04/04/2006 18:23

i remember breastfeeding ds, one at the time, in front of macedonian father in law. What's worse, he was sitting next to me at the time. He got up so fast he might have had ants in his pants. I kept doing it throughout our two week holiday and he seemed to get more used to it! I never sat beside him to do it again tho! Now ds is 19 months and next time we see in laws it will be interesting to see their discomfort level.

koolkat · 04/04/2006 18:31

adorabelle -
I have a 22 month DS who is breastfed. He never asks for a feed outside the house any more (too distracted !) but I sympathise with your situation.

I don't know how well you know your MIL (is this the first time you meet her ?) but would it be an idea to have a chat to her and explain how important it is for you and your toddler to be able to bf whenever she needs it. I know it's easier said than done, depends on how reasonable MIL can be.

Also explain to her that bf a toddler is not at all unusual and that most cultures bf for a very long time and are very comfortable with it.

Good luck

LeahE · 04/04/2006 18:36

Extended bf is more common in the US than in the UK so you may find that you don't need to worry so much about Americans in general.

TheBlonde · 04/04/2006 18:41

Breastfeeding is more common in the US than the UK by the way so although your mil might be uncomfortable the rest of the general public will not bat an eyelid

Original poster

Adorabelle · 04/04/2006 21:57

Want to say a Huge Thank you to all who have posted with messages of support. I am definately going to be going on holiday with a new found confidence that it's my choice &my right to feed my LO wherever we are. It's never been a problem before &just because she is getting big, shes still young &still needs milk,&I have my "The WHO advocates bf for the first 2yrs" quote ready! I love the fact that my dd is still feeding, it's a bond that i will never have with anyone else &i know i'm going to carry on feeding her for as long as it's enjoyable &right for both of us,& s*d whatever anyone else thinks!

OP posts:

koolkat · 04/04/2006 22:28

Good for you ! Yes, that WHO thing is a good one to stick under anyone's nose

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